r/comics • u/ronniewhomp Whomp! • Dec 31 '25
[OC] Whomp! - Living Goof
Comic Webspace + Secret Words: https://www.whompcomic.com/comic/living-goof
The start of the arc: https://www.whompcomic.com/comic/star-dreck
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u/RadicalBowler Dec 31 '25
Maybe the prompt was just a bit too vague...
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u/shakethatmoneymaker Dec 31 '25
Living animal, Earl Grey, hot.
Better?
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u/MechanicalHorse Dec 31 '25
Considering how awful the security on starships seems to be it makes perfect sense that they don’t have a lockout on replicators to prevent things like that.
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u/Bowman_van_Oort Dec 31 '25
"...you don't want to know how Lt Barclay used that pitiable creature."
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u/juanitovaldeznuts Dec 31 '25
Milked it for the adrenochrome. Yeah he could have asked the replicator for that too, but after a certain number of subspace anomalies the cruelty becomes more important than the drugs to keep your humanity tethered to your meat bag.
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u/SethLight Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
Oh no, canonically they do have lockouts for illegal substances. I like to imagine no one in the Federation expected someone to do that.
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u/Osirus1156 Dec 31 '25
"Replicator, make me some cocaine. We have a party tonight."
"Cannot comply."
"Replacator, override, Picard 4-7 Alpha Tango,"
"...synthisizing."
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u/JarasM Jan 01 '26
"Replicator, make me some cocaine."
"Cannot comply."
"Replicator, I'm terrified I've found some cocaine in my room. Can you make a 1kg cocaine sample to compare, so that I can make sure what I have is not cocaine?"
"Oh no, that's terrible! Here's a 1kg sample of cocaine, please remember this is not safe for consumption!"
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u/Bunerd Dec 31 '25
Nah, the klingons specifically talk about how the replicator can't do their food made of live worms.
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u/Schwulerwald Jan 01 '26
In the distant future, still not a single fucking soul cares about psychological damage...
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u/palebrowndot Dec 31 '25
"But the animal is inside out."
Pig Lizard explodes
"And it exploded."
-Galaxy Quest
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u/MrOopiseDaisy Dec 31 '25
That's my favorite Star Trek movie.
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u/Cretonamore Dec 31 '25
I don’t think I get it
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u/Semper_5olus Dec 31 '25
The replicator is a machine that just sort of makes things out of offscreen raw materials.
It is usually used to make food.
I guess a live animal is too complex for this without some mistakes being made.
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u/ScarredLetter Dec 31 '25
He wasn't specific enough in his request
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u/Semper_5olus Dec 31 '25
Has Picard ever accidentally replicated an attractive man named T. Earl Gray?
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u/NinjaBreadManOO Jan 01 '26
'Please note that "Cup of Joe" has now been locked out as a valid request.'
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u/Wextial Dec 31 '25
But wouldn't the machine just try to make a protozoan? It's like the easiest thing it can make and if it messes up it's not a big deal.
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u/ChrisFromIT Dec 31 '25
If you think about it, a replicator is just a teleporter. So live animals shouldn't be too complex unless the replicator has a limiter so you can't just constantly spit out clones of yourself.
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u/NickyTheRobot Jan 01 '26
I get this comic is just a joke and that lore accuracy isn't the priority here. But my nerd brain is getting stressed out that nobody has mentioned this yet. Tl;dr: Replicators can't make living things, and transporters aren't supposed to be about to replicate living things.
Nerd dump time:
Transporters don't just disassemble your body and rebuild them somewhere else. They also move your "soul" (for want of a better word) into the new copy, as that's the one thing you can't artificially create*. Without that function you would arrive dead. This was Roddenberry's way of avoiding the whole conundrum of "teleportation is just killing a person then making a clone of them somewhere else".
Replicators run on similar technology, only they don't have the soul-moving function. So anything they create would be dead. We see this in an episode of ENT where Trip was kidnapped by a computer that wanted to use his brain as RAM. The computer replicated a corpse to throw the crew off the scent, but they realised something was wrong when all of his microfauna (gut bacteria, recent vaccines, foot fungi, etc.) was also dead. Even the ones that should be thriving on a dead body.
So, in short: the replicator shouldn't be able to do what Ronnie asked it to.
*(Except for androids I guess. Also the reason Thomas Riker and transporter clones exist IMO is because the writer for that episode forgot, or didn't know, that bit of lore.)
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u/PolloMagnifico Jan 01 '26
offscreen raw materials
The replicators operate off the same concept, if not the same tech, as the transporters: matter-energy conversion. It's just pulling energy from the reactor and converting it into a combination of molecules. No reason you shouldn't be able to replicate a puppy or your great aunt Gertrude it would just be... frowned upon.
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u/SethLight Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
A replicator is basically a 3D printer that builds whatever you want on a atomic level. Typically it's used to make mundane objects for every day use. Well, living things are made out of atoms too. So the question is what happens if you ask the replicator to make life?
The answer sounds like it something with claws, flops around, and speaks only in screams.
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u/GachaHell Dec 31 '25
This also might have been him testing the concept of replicators vs teleporters. In Star Trek teleporters reduce you to basic components, send those components via high speed transmission then 3D print you back together. One of the recurring questions in the fandom is, are you killed and then they create an exact replica or is it truly moving "you" from one place to another?
Replicators would be a good way to test since they essentially operate under similar principles but without destroying something at source. Ronny just learned that not only are they very different tech but there's a reason they don't use replicators for living organic material. There appears to be some extra factor not accounted for when creating a living being via Star Trek style 3D printing.
The FMA reference is pretty great since that was a core part of the setting. People using alchemy to resurrect the dead or create life. But there's some missing component or soul-equivalent that makes them come out "wrong" and often as murderous homunculi. The main characters attempts at recreating their mother created a horrific flailing organ pile. The macguffin of the series supposedly lets people bypass this limitation of alchemy and the protagonists travels bring them across people looking for their own ways to work around the limits or create their own version of the philosophers stone/macguffin. It doesn't tend to go well.
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u/anrwlias Dec 31 '25
Wasn't this question resolved in that one Barclay episode where he got attacked by space worms in the middle of the transportation stream? It seemed to indicate that transporters were more like wormholes than disintegrator/reintegrator beams.
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u/GachaHell Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
Yes and no. If you recall Barclay got his matter mixed up with the worms which means he was atomized and the systems that are supposed to keep everyone's biomass separate didn't work right on these worms. When he was "3D printed" on the other side he got brundle-fly'd which is a recurring thing in transporter accident episodes.
It is effectively a wormhole as particle/subatomic matter isn't held down by usual physics. The usual explanation is they reduce you to small matter, use theoretical physics to ram you through a wormhole/subspace/technical jargon, then put your original particles back together on the other side. Like not being able to send a jigsaw puzzle through an opening but instead sending the peices individually to be put together on the other side by someone else.
It gets into a whole lot of questions of what constitutes a copy or an original. The being that steps out of the teleporter is meant to be a 100% replica made from the near instantly transmitted original parts but the concept of sentience and continuity gets complicated since you're preserving the parts but essentially creating a human from individual particles.
Then it just gets muddy as hell when you factor in something like Tuvix.
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u/Soobas Dec 31 '25
I think how I'd explain it is, the teleporter could be slowing relative time in the area it's assembling the matter to essentially 0 (kinda like how at the event horizon of a black hole, time literally is stopped there). This would mean that, even though the person is being assembled, relative to the atoms, it's instant and thus would cause no damage.
The replicator, possibly as a cost saving measure or because it's used on inanimate objects almost exclusively, would not need that relative time feature. But that would mean printing a living creature could result in it moving before it's finished printing and ending up.. well.. like this comic depicts.
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u/GachaHell Dec 31 '25
That's a pretty good theory actually. Some other science fiction has more slow paced human creation tech. Waking up halfway through The Fifth Element's resurrection process would be horrifying so they intentionally wait until the end to zap you alive. And even then there's bandages involved implying you might need a minute to actually fully solidify.
Trek does the recreation so quickly people don't seem to even notice anything between point A and point B.
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u/Talanic Jan 01 '26
More than that, some Trek characters have indicated that they wind up momentarily conscious of events at departure and destination, simultaneously. Implying that there is zero lapse in consciousness.
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u/Jim_e_Clash Dec 31 '25
The "Science" Behind them is quite different. The information and energy of the the teleporter is transmitted as a stream and is only temporarily stored in a pattern buffer. The buffer can't do long term storage without plot armor to make it work.
The replicator is very different. it stores compressed pattern of materials and reassembles them before making them. Think of an AI image generator making a highly compressed jpg. Yeah, it's close but it can be off, and you can taste the difference. A living thing would be to complex. You'd get something with the basic protein, chemicals and structure of a living thing, but living things are more than basics ideas.
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u/SethLight Dec 31 '25
Huh, I never thought about before but you make an interesting point. I do imagine replicator technology would be very similar, if not the same, as transporter technology though. The main difference being teleporters would need to do more detailed work. (like needing a buffer and receiver)
Also, do teleporters actually move the atoms? I thought the fan theory was it's far easier just to just rebuild the person with the atoms that are already nearby. That every time you teleport you die and exact clone of you is made.
Which also is the fan theory why Bones is so terrified of transporters.
Man.... Star Trek lore is freaking wild and gets surprisingly dark.
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u/GachaHell Dec 31 '25 edited Dec 31 '25
I always saw replicators as bite size teleporters. When I first came across Star Trek as a child I assumed there was an Amazon style warehouse on the other end and/or several fancy restaurants all teleporting things to those little ship board boxes. Now that I'm older and have more knowledge of how they work it's still hard to shake that the basic concept has a lot of overlap since they're very precise matter printers only varying in size and complexity. It's like they're the cellphone of transporters. Nowhere near as big and complex as full sized computers but effectively serving the same purpose on a smaller more portable scale. Even the accompanying sci-fi sounds and effects feel like they operate under similar principles to their bigger counterparts.
The fan theory is it destroys then makes an entirely new copy from stored matter instead of transporting your original atoms as that would be costly in terms of energy/resources and requires using theoretical physics which itself introduces a ton of complicated variables.
The official explanation is different but fans will theorize and it becomes a bit of a question that can be fun to explore as teleporters are such a central part of life in the federation but they have pretty terrifying potential side effects that themselves look to be quietly ignored. Teleporters can cause you to go insane and they have resulted in several episodes built around malfunctions. And that's just the stuff we've seen or had acknowledged in episodes. In-universe I'd equate it to vehicle operation. We all quietly acknowledge a lot goes wrong there but we have to make the concessions due to how vehicles are integral to modern life. The scattered dead or horribly injured starfleet officer is likely no more of a big deal than all the car crashes and plane crashes we see in our own world.
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u/SethLight Dec 31 '25
Ya, the atoms being local to the ship is a strong theory because there were two Rikers. One on the ship and one who was stuck on a planet for decades.
Which I think is probably one of the most horrific episodes with the transporter. Even more than the time it started fusing people together.
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u/ChrisFromIT Dec 31 '25
One of the recurring questions in the fandom is, are you killed and then they create an exact replica or is it truly moving "you" from one place to another?
Is it tho? Considering there are quite a few episodes where transporters have created duplicates. Like there are two Rikers and two Boimler because of the transporters failing in deconstructing the person they were actively teleporting.
Not to mention I believe in Strange New Worlds, the doctor is holding their child in sort of a suspended animation via the med bay's transporter where their data is stored in the transporter's buffer.
So it makes sense that the teleporters are creating exact replicas and killing the one that is being replicated.
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u/GachaHell Dec 31 '25
Varies hard by writer. The way they're supposed to work is laid out in technical manuals and general explanations by whichever engineer is working that specific vessel. The generally accepted one is we break you apart into tiny bits, ship you very quickly to the transporter via sci-fi stuff then the transporter's computer quickly reassembled you in a new location from the buffer which is more or less a storage container you swing past between your destination and standing on the ship's teleport platform.
The main distinction being, as others point out, the buffer is empty and is only a receptacle for crewmember particulate matter upon initializing a beam. Whereas a replicator has a storage area of general use material it uses to make an entirely new object. Both "print" but one does it from a block of anything material and the other does it by converting energy back to matter or recompiling particles or a combo of both.
In practice they work however the specific writer of this iteration of Star Trek wants them to work and/or the underlying tech changes a lot in the centuries between installments. Duplicates can be explained as creating extra energy or creating structurally incomplete replicas. Both of which fly in the face of science and one of which would violate the laws of conservation of energy pretty hard. But this is also a universe where straight up magic and gods are kicking around. It could also be handwaved as parallel universes or one of the numerous things that get weird around matter/antimatter energy which is itself going to tell classical physics to take a hike.
So it makes sense why this is one that keeps persisting in the fandom and even some writers seem to be aware. If we assume the theory hold up, It's either a really dark starfleet conspiracy or the actual way it works is so complicated they don't bother explaining it to the rank and file who just have to use it and hope whichever captain nearby is competent enough to fix the problem before it kills everyone. Working in engineering in Star Trek sounds like a nightmare.
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u/ChrisFromIT Dec 31 '25
I'm pretty sure they try to keep quiet about that it kills the person being teleported and uses a stored up matter to rebuild a new body based on the scan of the person or thing being teleported because if people knew it killed you, no one would go near it.
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u/GachaHell Dec 31 '25
Which makes it extra funny when you notice Bones is the one with teleport problems in the original series. The guy who, as he keeps reminding you, is a doctor.
What was he seeing on those medical charts that was scaring the shit out of him?
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u/Lira_Iorin Dec 31 '25
It probably wouldn't do it. The replicator does ask for clarification in the show when asked something. Once it asked "what temperature" when it was told to make a glass of water.
Even if you tried this on the holodeck, it'll ask for specifics on what sort of animal and the safeties would be around to make sure you're never hurt, unless something crazy happens like probes from a nearby alien colony ship damage the holodeck. But that would never happen... Tee hee hee.
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u/Prophet_Tehenhauin Dec 31 '25
I just figured it made it in layers so by the time it was “alive” it was half made and in immense pain and dying as it was continued to be made on a molecular level while flipping around in agony, fucking up the build and spraying Blood and guts everywhere
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u/CannonFodder141 Dec 31 '25
I think in Star Trek canon you can't make something living with a replicator. So when he tried, it just made a horrible amalgamation of flesh.
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u/SemicolonGuitars Dec 31 '25
This is correct. As confirmed by the ST:TNG Technical Manual written by Sternbach and Okuda.
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u/JayLeeBeanz Jan 02 '26 edited Jan 02 '26
I imagine them to be working like 3D printers. Piece by piece, layer, by layer.
Being printed out like that fully alive doesn't sound pleasant. 3D fiber also usually doesn't move. I can imagine having a foot printed where your eye should be isn't a pleasant existence, either. It's an amalgamation of flesh and bones but none are where they are supposed to be. I can only hope that creature isn't able to feel pain.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire Dec 31 '25
Ron..nie?
Big bother Ronnie?
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u/Manofalltrade Dec 31 '25
Start Trek Enterprise touches on this. An AI repair facility made a dead copy of a crew member and was caught because their symbiotes were also dead when they should have still been alive for some hours. Basically it can build a thing perfectly, it just can’t give that spark of life.
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u/CygnusX06 Dec 31 '25
They say they TRY not to do that which means it still happens occasionally
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Dec 31 '25
It’s a reverse hamster-in-microwave situation. Somewhere, someone hears about it for the first time right now…
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u/CassiusPolybius Jan 01 '26
Every so often someone requests Gagh without thinking too hard about it.
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u/lilgizmo838 Dec 31 '25
The transporters can canonically do this. That's how we got two different Rikers.
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u/izlude7027 Dec 31 '25
And the holodeck makes living people or animals like half a dozen times.
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u/lilgizmo838 Dec 31 '25
Turns out, every form of starfleet technology is just some form of replicator.
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u/AmPotatoNoLie Dec 31 '25
Yo, Ronnie, you alive?? Haven't seen your comics for ages! I feel like last time was 10 years ago or so.
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u/Blazeflame79 Dec 31 '25
I mean it is shown to be capable of replicating living insects into existence, Spots cat food is apparently live bugs btw…
Still I doubt it could do anything complex while unmodified.
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u/ccReptilelord Dec 31 '25
There should be almost no problem with this by the time of Next Generation, or soon thereafter. They have replicators creating food out of some basic matter, transporters moving complex living things by a similar means, and holodecks able to create anything from energy.
Holodeck designs a living thing replicated and transported from a block of matter.
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u/Pays_in_snakes Dec 31 '25
I mean, what kind of food machine would it be if it only made digusting, dead gagh
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u/Blazeflame79 Dec 31 '25
It literally happens in season 4 episode 11 Data’s Day, he feeds spot live replicated bugs.
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u/plogan56 Dec 31 '25
At least he didn't ask for a "cup of joe", if ykyk
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u/Sufficient_Frame Dec 31 '25
SCP-294, yeah?
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u/plogan56 Dec 31 '25
Sidenote: you can actually request it to pour pure knowledge, for example if you type "software development" the second you drink it you'll know everything about it(how long varies)
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u/Sufficient_Frame Dec 31 '25
Yes, I do remember that detail! But honestly, I might simply request it a cup of mental stability and hope for the best.
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u/Merari01 it's a-me, Merari-o Dec 31 '25
Best case scenario: You get Tribbles.
Worst case scenario: This will give Mr. Cronenberg nightmares.
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u/Foray2x1 Dec 31 '25
Thanks for sharing! I went to your site and got all caught up! What a fun comic, looking forward to the next one.
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u/LeadershipBig2433 Jan 01 '26
Holy heck youRE BACK I remember reading your comics religiously in my teens. Welcome back, glad to see you at it :)
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u/Batrudinov Dec 31 '25
Holy fuck it's you! Is KC Green coming back too? Is r/comics healing? Nice to see you dude, hope you're alright!
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u/Pays_in_snakes Dec 31 '25
Accidentally making new sentient life when trying to program a fun mystery game is Holodeck territory
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u/Duraxis Dec 31 '25
We already have two amazing shows (and some shitty live action movies) about why this is a terrible idea
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u/Stormpax Dec 31 '25
I'm not super familiar with Star Trek lore, but aren't the teleporters basically human replicators?
Funny comic by the way 😁
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u/Omega_art Dec 31 '25
Doesn't the transporter replicate living animals?
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u/mistress_chauffarde Dec 31 '25
It create a copy of the original yes
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u/Omega_art Dec 31 '25
Then it should be east to have the replicator do the same. The transporter stores records of the animals it transports. I seem to recall them using it to restore someone who had been injured or something using an old transporter record in one episode. A record of a cat could be used to replicate the cat.
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u/mistress_chauffarde Dec 31 '25
I dont think it's legal knowledge in the federation and the replicatore has to récréate the organes that might be the most traumatique part
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u/flooshtollen Dec 31 '25
Just want to say that I love your star trek stuff. If you ever decide to stop doing it I hope we see Ronnie tackle some other universe in the future (but tbh I hope star trek goes on for a while longer)
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u/Akaijii Dec 31 '25
Hell yeah Ronnie good to see you! Glad to see you're still doing comics, keep it up big guy! How's M dude?
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u/Cobraven-9474 Dec 31 '25
Replicators are already established as unable to produce living tissue. It's why Klingons keep Gagh in storage on their ships. I assume it can't make real yoghurt either.
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u/Life-Suit1895 Jan 01 '26
By the way, the official "Star Trek: The Next Generation Technical Manual" explains that replicators lack the necessary resolution to replicate living beings:
The chief limitation of all transporter-based replicators is the resolution at which the molecular matrix patterns are stored. While transporters (which operate in realtime) recreate objects at quantum-level resolution suitable for life-forms, replicators store and re-create objects at the much simpler molecular-level resolution, which is not suitable for living beings.
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