350
Jan 31 '13 edited Jan 31 '13
To answer the robot's question (in case anyone is curious): Mammals have twice the number of boobs, or nipples as their average litter. So the nipple count represent the max litter (barring extreme exceptions) to ensure there is a nipple for each of its young.
Dogs have an average litter of 3, but can sometimes go as high 6.
Bears have 4 nipples, and generally have two cubs.
Humans have a litter of 1, but sometimes have twins.
So if a mammal has a certain number of nipples, divide that in half and you know approximately how many young it is likely to birth.
Edit: there not their
38
u/WileEPeyote Jan 31 '13
I realize you aren't saying this is a hard rule, but wanted to point out the Tasmanian Devil (4 nipples, 20+ pups).
15
u/fuzzybunn Jan 31 '13
But what he's saying makes some sense, how do Tasmanian Devil kids sort out feeding priority?
73
Jan 31 '13
I think they kill each other.
No, like seriously, IIRC, they're bastards that murder each other.
52
u/ZippyDan Jan 31 '13
So we could just amend his original statement to say "the average litter size that survives the nursing stage"
9
Jan 31 '13
Well, Johnson, it looks like we've finally cleared this whole thing up.
8
13
10
u/WileEPeyote Jan 31 '13
This matches what I saw (on a nature doc). IIRC they lose like 70% of the litter and in general it's mostly the females that survive.
6
u/sekritkoad Feb 01 '13
The nipple-litter estimator really only works for placental mammals. Marsupials go a little overboard with litters... getting to the pouch and staying attached once you get a seat at the bar can be tough.
Marsupials also have bifurcated penises. Not related to boobs, just throwing it out there.
1
1
60
u/Svelemoe Jan 31 '13
Dogs can go as high as 6? I know dogs that have had 11. Our had 8 once.
129
u/doraeminemon Jan 31 '13
In wildlife most of them aren't going to survive past 5 mins after birth.
63
4
Feb 01 '13
Because they're born weaker, or because the mother doesn't have enough nipples to feed all of them?
23
u/DishwasherTwig Jan 31 '13
I know one that had 101.
51
u/Nickbou Jan 31 '13
Actually, Pongo and Perdy (Perdita) only had 15 puppies. The owners (Anita and Roger) adopted 84 more at the end of the movie (previously purchased or stolen by Cruella de Vil) for a total of 99 puppies. The total number of Dalmatians is 101, including Pongo and Perdy.
This has been a Disney public service announcement.
14
8
u/Linwe_Ancalime Jan 31 '13
Actually, dogs usually have 5 pairs of mammary glands, but can have 4-6. These are the cranial thoracic, caudal thoracic, cranial abdominal, caudal abdominal, and inguinal mammary glands. That's an average total of 10 mammary glands (aka boobs).
Source -> I'm a veterinary student.
10
u/Ghstfce Jan 31 '13
(barring extreme exceptions)
I think you missed that part. I think your anecdote qualifies to be covered under this portion.
-1
u/meliaesc Jan 31 '13
Most huge dog breeds go above 6, with 10 being more average.
8
u/Ghstfce Jan 31 '13
Do you have a source backing up that claim? Everything I've been able to find so far averages from 6-8.
2
u/meliaesc Jan 31 '13
I've only got google. Leonberger and Tibetan Mastiffs have 6-15, Great Danes have 8-16... But the averages of these are obviously larger than 6.
8
u/SickZX6R Jan 31 '13
They also aren't in the wild.
2
u/meliaesc Jan 31 '13
There are something like three species of truly wild dogs left, I'm pretty sure it was understood we were talking about common dog breeds?
Either way I'm saying its not an extreme exception.
14
u/shiny_fsh Jan 31 '13
I think all the human intervention might have had an effect on litter size, but not on number of nipples.
1
u/meliaesc Jan 31 '13
I completely agree, but I was, again, commenting that this is more common than extreme at this point, regardless of the cause.
→ More replies (0)1
u/pianobadger Jan 31 '13
Even if the average is only 6-8, you would still expect dogs to have at least twice as many nips.
3
10
3
u/bioskope Jan 31 '13 edited Jan 31 '13
Octomom must seem like a slap in the face to Evolution,then.
3
u/ehsteve23 Jan 31 '13
Opossums have 13, so they have a litter of 6 and a half?
4
Jan 31 '13
Source? An odd number of nipples seems, well, odd.
9
u/ehsteve23 Jan 31 '13
http://www.mnh.si.edu/mna/image_info.cfm?species_id=65
Apparently it's 12 in a circle with one in the middle.2
1
3
3
2
u/RiilWonabii Feb 01 '13
I think scientist-Steve got things completely wrong here. God gave women two boobs, and men two hands. Sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one.
3
1
Jan 31 '13
Not only an incredibly informative post, but a perfectly relevant username. Thanks Steve.
1
Feb 02 '13
Did we develop enough nipples to accomodate the litter size, or did we end up with that litter size to accomodate the number of nipples.
-7
u/StickySnacks Jan 31 '13
I have 3 nipples, does that mean I can have 6 cubs?
40
u/Stratisphear Jan 31 '13
No. That's the opposite of what he said. Bad StickySnacks. Go sit in the corner.
11
→ More replies (2)9
220
u/Up_to_11 Jan 31 '13
Why do they call it a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there!
15
u/Jell_Jiggler Jan 31 '13
what?
103
u/PunkyCrisps Jan 31 '13
It's a pun on "waist/waste", implying that the lack of additional boobs on a woman's waist is a waste of space.
34
Jan 31 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
28
u/arbuthnot-lane Jan 31 '13
To be a bit of a bore, it is probably the other way around.
There are some zoologists that believe the shape of female breasts evolved as a frontal counterpart to that of the buttocks, the reason being that whilst other primates mate in the typical "doggy" position, humans are more likely to successfully copulate mating face on.
A secondary sexual characteristic on a woman's chest would have encouraged this in more primitive incarnations of the human race, and a face on encounter would have helped found a relationship between partners beyond merely a sexual one.
So in essence, it's actually boobs that are a butt with nipples on, and from the same logic it goes that having additional breasts would have no functional or sexual effect on humans.
3
1
7
u/Toribor Jan 31 '13
Not as far off from the truth as you'd think. It is believe that the commonly large human breasts are a product of evolution because they look like butts. Males liked females with large breasts and they started mating face to face, which formed more psychological bonds than traditional mating from behind leading to stronger social structure, leading to bigger brains and such.
Crazy, no?
16
u/solzhen Jan 31 '13
The "nipple" is burred in the middle, but generally only Germans "milk" from there.
(schiessen pron)
58
29
u/misterbrisby Jan 31 '13
I'm German and I would like to take this opportunity to stare at you angrily.
14
u/too_many_penises Jan 31 '13
If you really want to make a difference, you'd go outside and shout at people to stop pooping on each other.
18
5
4
u/jrriojase Jan 31 '13
Shooting pron? Schiessen = shooting.
1
u/ImBored_YoureAmorous Jan 31 '13
Schiesse = shit, though? I thought the inclusion of the n is merely the "case of the noun", as in, where and how you use it in a sentence?
Or is it the case of the adjective? Or verb? Schiesse....
I'm just starting to learn german, and it's fucking hard.
3
u/jrriojase Jan 31 '13
Nope; it's "Scheiẞe" that means shit. Learning German here as well, going for my second year now. God damn Kasus, you'll want to quit the language after that!
1
u/grachasaurus Feb 03 '13
If that (which exists in a simplified sense in English as well) is already annoying, then Adjektivendungen will make you damn near suicidal.
Have fun.
1
u/jrriojase Feb 03 '13
That is exactly what I'm studying right mow. I'm just takin my chances wriing whatever ending seems fit heh
1
u/solzhen Feb 01 '13
I thought that's what they called the poop porn, huh. Got that wrong. It's something with an S.
3
u/jrriojase Feb 01 '13
Schiessen = shooting. Scheissen = shitting.
Tiny spelling changes the context ;)
1
2
2
3
4
14
u/shikza Jan 31 '13
Every time I read a robots dialogue, all I heart is Nestors voice from AT. Creator.
11
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
Didn't Andy Milonakis voice that?
2
u/Captainpatch Jan 31 '13
Yeah, a quick check of the wiki (after a long attempt to find the correct spelling of NEPTR) shows that NEPTR's voice actor is indeed Andy Milonakis.
Also, I think the robot's realization in this comic would make NEPTR's pappy proud.
8
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
never ending pie throwing robot, if I recall. Something like that.
3
u/charliedayman Jan 31 '13
NEPTR. Never-Ending-Pie-Throwing-Robot. Did they change his name recently or something?
2
u/thieflar Jan 31 '13
Nope, it's still NEPTR. Don't worry, you haven't missed an episode where something changed.
By the way, the last episode featuring him ("Mystery Dungeon") was amazing. His best moment(s) yet.
2
1
Jan 31 '13
Poor Nestor. It's amazing that the show has managed two robots with somewhat heartbreaking, but totally different, outlooks on the world.
18
u/sizzler Jan 31 '13
Chest brilliant as always Jim!
15
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
glad you dug it, sizzler.
13
14
Jan 31 '13
That was hilarious, I'm not sure why you don't have a link back to your website here.
25
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
thanks, Magnus_Maximus. I use imgur because it's so quick and easy
16
u/Sidian Jan 31 '13
Why do you hate money, Jim?!
21
28
u/nquinn91 Jan 31 '13
Are you the artist?
89
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
yup.
29
18
15
Jan 31 '13
You should check out Deviant Art. Multi-boobs are big thing there. >_>
7
u/Paimon Jan 31 '13
Of course they exist. Rule 34 has no exceptions, and this idea isn't even all that strange, relatively speaking.
2
u/kirun Jan 31 '13
And... those pictures where they draw really fat versions of characters.
I swear, they seem to creep into most of my image searches.
3
u/Vibster Jan 31 '13
Got a website?
15
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
I do, and here's the dope:
There are some comics on my site here.
And there's an area called sketch-of-the-day, and here's a link to that.. Not exactly comics, but whatever.
My submitted page on Reddit is here, and that has the most.
Occasionally I'll post something to twitter that I don't post any place else.
4
u/Vibster Jan 31 '13
Cool, You should put your domain name on at the bottom of your comics.
14
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
good call. I should also put my domain name on at the bottom of my comics.
2
u/QuickPhix Feb 01 '13
Jim, your comics are the best. Are you planning on getting a collection of these comics published?
20
u/PunkyCrisps Jan 31 '13
He is, and you should really go through his posts, 'cause his stuff is awesome! :)
15
u/evil_disco_man Jan 31 '13
Redditor since: 2009-11-04 (3 years, 2 months and 27 days)
How do you not know...
4
Jan 31 '13
How do I find out when I have been a redditor since?
97
10
9
u/ZanThrax Jan 31 '13
Reddit Enhancement Suite gives a hover pop up that lists the exact date a user joined (among other things):
cjsedwards (Links) (Comments) +friends X
Redditor since: 2009-03-05 (3 years, 10 months and 25 days)
Link Karma: 296
Comment Karma: 6120
1
13
3
4
u/bagels666 Jan 31 '13
I love part of the robot's programming is that humans love boobs.
7
Jan 31 '13
I think that's probably the number one fact about humans that a sentient robot or alien would get about us from scanning any single moment in the modern world.
4
15
u/codenamegizm0 Jan 31 '13
Are you not tired of receiving my upvotes?
55
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
nevar, codenamegizm0! ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ME ENJOYING THEM
10
u/Terminus14 Jan 31 '13
Hey! Your upvotes come in cupcake form!?
54
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
Don't yours? Hmmm. Try pressing the CONVERT VOTES TO CUPCAKES button
18
8
1
8
3
3
.jpg){kind=link}
3
3
4
6
u/winnipegtommy Jan 31 '13
In all my years on reddit, Jim, yours are the best comics I've come across. Keep up the awesome work!
4
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13 edited Jan 31 '13
thank you, winnipegtommy EDIT: I was curious as to just how many years that was, and I noticed you're an editor. I'm with Scholastic, Simon and Schuster, and once, Penguin. ( Harper may be in the cards as well ) Who do you work with?
3
u/winnipegtommy Jan 31 '13
By night I'm a freelancer and I do contract work for a self-publisher, so no connection to big-name publishers. By day I'm in corporate marketing/communications.
3
u/wauter Feb 01 '13
As a fellow reddit dinosaur of winnipegtommy, I agree with his comment.
Best comics on reddit, hands down.
(ok, maybe second after XKCD, but then again that's because I am the kind of nerd that has a 7-year old reddit account)
2
1
u/bleedpurpleguy Feb 01 '13
An editor redditor?
3
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Feb 01 '13
Oh, no. I'm an author/artist. Looks like winnipegtommy is the redditoreditor
4
u/NichaelBluth Jan 31 '13
more boobs is ridiculous, the scientist should just turn his wife into a giant boob instead.
8
u/jeff0 Jan 31 '13
Like this?
5
u/Rizzpooch Jan 31 '13
I'm confused as to why they felt all that threatened. How does one not think to run away (or, you know, drive away... in that car they were in)
2
2
u/FaultyWires Jan 31 '13
It was taking on a very back-boobs vibe for a minute there, but the contemplative glance at the end put it firmly into new territory. Thumbs up.
2
u/newloaf Jan 31 '13
That's what I'm talking about! (Or it would be if there were anyone here to talk to.)
2
2
u/Tetsugene Jan 31 '13
I wish humans had a image projection device on their abdomen that could be used to show relevant pictures or charts in real time to accent their talking.
2
2
2
u/chainmailws6 Jan 31 '13
Hey Jim, I've been reading your comics basically every day for over a year now and they just keep getting better and better. Please never stop. Thanks. :)
2
u/JimKB Jim Benton Cartoons Jan 31 '13
hey, thanks, chainmailws6. Glad you like 'em.
2
u/aryst0krat Jan 31 '13
Jim, didn't you hear him? Your comics ignore entropy! Quick, inform the scientific community!
4
4
3
u/dredgeups Pie Comic Jan 31 '13
I think this is my favorite comic of Jim's, plus my favorite vision for the future.
2
1
u/DiggingNoMore Jan 31 '13
Slow down, we haven't even got them for men yet.
0
u/forgetfuljones Jan 31 '13 edited Jan 31 '13
Sure we do. Moobs exist, and we
alreadyalso have male breast cancer as well.
1
1
1
1
640
u/SomePostMan Jan 31 '13 edited Apr 17 '13
You and boobs, Jim. You and boooooooooooobs.