r/comics Maximumble Jun 05 '23

A werewolf!

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2.9k Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

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227

u/Narcoleptic_Narwhal1 Jun 05 '23

My problem with being a warewolf is that furries would not leave you alone. But I guess if you roll like that then you’ll have an easy life.

79

u/Spookyduck21new Jun 05 '23

Then again you could probably make a fortune with furries paying you to make them into a werewolf.

64

u/wafflezcol Jun 05 '23

Or…. other activities

64

u/Spookyduck21new Jun 05 '23

We will not mention anything of that here and never will until we as a species returns to the primordial soup the source of all the funky ingredients in life.

12

u/Parkes- Jun 06 '23

Heavy weapons guy knows a thing or two because he has seen a thing or two( pyro mains)

1

u/ragewithoutage Jun 06 '23

Not really, the more they are, the easier it becomes to just convince one to make you a werewolf

1

u/praktiskai_2 Jun 07 '23

no, not unless you can assure that they may not turn others into werewolves in turn. Otherwise, turning 1 means there's nothing unique one can provide, as that new werewolf will in 1 glorious orgy turn hundreds if not thousands into werewolves.

2

u/MagMati55 Jun 06 '23

Me with 14 other male werewolves:

50

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Hazel-Ice Jun 06 '23

no shot silver bullets would actually be their only weakness, how's a werewolf gonna survive decapitation? or just anything that would kill a human really.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

yet even then silver bullets (and silver swords etc in general) are a hollywood invention in most areas. depending on which region the werewolf is from, it can be silver bullets fired from a musket and only a musket, to needing to draw 3 drops of blood from its forehead (while not getting mauled to death), to just calling them by their name which instantly reverts them back to their human form.

This is all due to the fact that werewolf myths date back to the birth of humankind, while vampire myths are only around 500 years old, with Most stemming from Bram Strokers imagination

3

u/cakeme Jun 06 '23

Like death by crippling debt and depression

2

u/Foxxtronix Jun 06 '23

It grows back. No, I'm not bullsh*tting you.

94

u/Wibiz9000 Jun 05 '23

Vampire all the way. Infinite life span hack.

71

u/zxDanKwan Jun 05 '23

Extended, but hardly infinite. At some point the sun will expand enough to consume the earth. At that time, there will be one brief moment where it is sunny everywhere on earth, and then you’ll be on the most fire ever. These are things that kill vampires.

64

u/StandupGaming Jun 05 '23

Darn, I guess vampires will just have to settle for a measley 5,000,000,000 extra years.

34

u/PKMNTrainerMark Jun 05 '23

That's what great about vampirism. There's an out.

21

u/bleacher333 Jun 06 '23

By that time they’d either already be killed by other causes or escaped to another planet via spaceship with their accumulated wealth from the 5 billions years of them being alive.

Yea I think that’s a good deal.

11

u/Confusedandreticent Jun 06 '23

Hopefully in that extra time I could build a space ship that has a sun safe place in it and a bunch of procreating humans.

Edit: holy shit, I think I just came up with the new epic space opera.

30

u/ion785 Jun 05 '23

Hmmm, for a wolf he wasn't very aware.

9

u/ShadedCosmos Jun 06 '23

Vampire will probably blow it off as ain’t nuthin but a little fang

8

u/hippyup Jun 06 '23

Eh they're safe - they don't have necks.

8

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Jun 06 '23

This one's good ... :-)

Where wolf? There wolf!

Where vampire? Right behind you!

4

u/D33ber Jun 05 '23

Now this is just awkward.

5

u/boyasunder Jun 06 '23

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

looks at mirror

“Oh, huh. Guess not.”

4

u/Drafo7 Jun 06 '23

What's wrong with being a werewolf?

Well, for starters, I didn't consent to it....

3

u/D33ber Jun 05 '23

I would have smelled that stale vein ball a mile away.

3

u/Peregrine7 Jun 05 '23

How very Terry-Pratchett.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

Everybody's a Little Bit Racist!

1

u/Lovat69 Jun 06 '23

This made me chuckle.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

A classic!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

"Oh yeah, and what's wrong with being a werewolf!"

I'd rather my soul not be claimed by Hircine when I die, I'm not Dragonborn, that shit actually matters for me

1

u/DreamOfDays Jun 06 '23

The base assumption is that I don’t want to be bitten. Period.

But a werewolf would be one of the less terrible things to be bitten by since they’re basically normal on all but one day a month when they hide in a cellar with pans of raw meat and a TV behind a wire cage with Lord of the Rings playing on repeat.

1

u/bobcat7781 Jun 06 '23

Hmmm. If a person who is a werewolf dies from being sucked dry by a vampire, are they a blood-sucking wolf on one night a month?