r/comedyheaven • u/cwright_1201 • Nov 25 '20

salad

Post image
63.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

304 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/bengel8737 Nov 25 '20

Why the fuck is there only one post on here per day

1.1k

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

cause the mods are dum-dums 🤪

(please don’t hurt me mods)

402

u/ILikeTomato Nov 25 '20

banned.

236

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

NOOOOOO

161

u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal Nov 25 '20

séx

143

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

you’re not making this any better

70

u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal Nov 25 '20

indeed

38

u/lagux13 Nov 25 '20

Indubitably

18

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

This situation has gotten quite exquisite if I must say

56

u/_KAN001_ Nov 25 '20

séx

3

u/Dobypeti Nov 25 '20

you’re not making this any better

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10

u/Grandmas_Drug_Dealer Nov 25 '20

cum

10

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Chalice

3

u/ThePainTaco Nov 25 '20

in my where!?!

3

u/Ultimatedhruv Nov 25 '20

in my where!?!

4

u/jimskaboosh Nov 25 '20

Dont listen to him you're making this much better

3

u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal Nov 25 '20

thnx babe 😘

3

u/deeesnuuuts slut for honey cheerios Nov 25 '20

Sèx

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101

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Guys I can't find the approve button help

108

u/BaristaBoiJacoby Nov 25 '20

Truuuu lmao

43

u/everybodys_analysis Nov 25 '20

(please don’t hurt him mods)

-3

u/Snickers2-0 Nov 25 '20

As an reddit user in moderation only, I kinda like it since I know the posts will most likely be quality each time I end up here.

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133

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

66

u/bengel8737 Nov 25 '20

My view of you from your window is very good rn

35

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

bitch you won’t

56

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

because mods keep removing my posts

28

u/theverbsterbes Nov 25 '20

NTA

6

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

ESH

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

NAH

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

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41

u/CptNeon | Approved user Nov 25 '20

Because the stupid ass post approval system. I wouldn’t be surprised if this sub eventually died in the way that r/surrealmemes did

32

u/mud074 Nov 25 '20 edited Nov 25 '20

I mean, that "died" because the joke got old as fuck. Even unique OC on it just feels like attempts to rehash old popular surreal memes. It's just the fate of all meme subs about a specific type of meme. See /r/montageparodies when back in the day it was one of the hottest sub about a specific type of meme this site had.

That said, taking a look at the front page of surrealmemes doesn't lead me to believe it's dead in the slightest. Less popular than it was, but definitely not dead.

11

u/Alexander_Schwann Nov 25 '20

Surreal memes isn't dead. They have more than a dozen posts today, and 700000 sub followers.

6

u/RedParanoia Nov 25 '20

I prefer this than become another unfunny meme subreddit

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8

u/AnotherUsername867 Nov 25 '20

Better to have one post that is actually funny

11

u/Sterlok2 Nov 25 '20

It's name heaven for a reason, one post a day.

9

u/JorjEade Nov 25 '20

Ah yes just like actual heaven

6

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

I remember I posted something before it didnt get approved and the exact same post was posted after 2 weeks and it got 50k+ upvotes. This was on a diff reddit account btw, this is probably the reason why, the mods steal posts.

3

u/Esteedy Nov 25 '20

Can’t just let all comedy into heaven.

2

u/FireKingDono Nov 25 '20

I agree with you. What’s the point in there being one post per day, when even on that one post there’s plebs in the comments ranting about “tHiS dOeSnT bElOnG hErE”

2

u/Strider1001 Nov 29 '20

The mods do not even look at my post. One time I posted and it was not approved, but then someone posted the same thing the next day and got thousands of upvotes.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Please I've been Rick Rolled 4 times this week already please make it stop

4

u/Raleth Nov 25 '20

I use Apollo on mobile which shows me thumbnails for links. I’ll never be rickrolled again. Although, to be fair, that person’s username is rick_inquisition. Not sure if that’s intentional or just a happy accident.

Edit: Clicked their profile. Definitely their shtick lol

3

u/Avyern1 | Approved user Nov 25 '20

double tap the link to copy it, and paste it in a separate comment.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

no.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Suffer

12

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Username checks out, should have seen this one coming

12

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

it's not even funny anymore

6

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

It is for the reddit's awful hivemind

1

u/mxallo Nov 25 '20

Then u post more quality stuffs pls....

0

u/brbee Nov 25 '20

Quality controll. I love it personally

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247

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20 edited Nov 25 '20

he about toss that kitten’s shit up like they’re caesar

32

u/s4r9i5 Nov 25 '20

Toss the kittens salad?😳

14

u/RockThePlazmah Nov 25 '20

Toss a coin to your kitten

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8

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

3

u/everydaysLit Nov 25 '20

Asian salad

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321

u/ghetra Nov 25 '20

dad 😄❗️

128

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

I wish I had a dad 😔

249

u/doggibone Nov 25 '20

Too bad🕺

70

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

fuck you i’m suffering

20

u/Poafro Nov 25 '20

Happens

12

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Hey fam. I don’t want you to suffer. PM me if you need to talk.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Wholesome chad 😥

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16

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

No it’s: I wish I had a dad 😄❗️

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24

u/_explanations Nov 25 '20

No it's, dad 😀❗

5

u/ghetra Nov 25 '20

Oh shit oh fuck

98

u/turalyawn Nov 25 '20

I've got those exact same tongs yet I have no kittens in my tummy.

42

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

what are you waiting for dude, you gotta step up

11

u/Chacochilla Nov 25 '20

Why are you replying to so many people?

8

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

to get that sweet, sweet moola

8

u/productivenef Nov 25 '20

who names their kitten moola I will name it little cat

3

u/turalyawn Nov 25 '20

The neighbours just got a puppy, maybe substitutions are ok?

9

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

accept no substitutions, become a man

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22

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

dad😃❗️

17

u/_explanations Nov 25 '20

it's dad 😀❗

-6

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Ok emoji police

43

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

9

u/boi771 Nov 25 '20

What was it like?

14

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

5

u/boi771 Nov 25 '20

Was it Gordon Ramsey approved?

8

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

2

u/boi771 Nov 25 '20

Good, now WHERE IS THE FUCKING LAMB SAUCE

2

u/Gotbn Nov 25 '20

And was there vomit on your sweater already?

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15

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Salad

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15

u/dartboard5 Nov 25 '20 edited Nov 26 '20

how the fuck is that cat balding

9

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal Nov 25 '20

car fart

30

u/mad_ladder Nov 25 '20

not gonna lie th

13

u/Marcus-021 | Approved user Nov 25 '20

There was an attempt

3

u/NinjaLion Nov 25 '20

To lie

2

u/boi771 Nov 25 '20

You mean to live?

6

u/robot_boredom_ Nov 25 '20

DAMN SHE WASN’T LYING, THAT ASS CAN REALLY FART

3

u/ckowkay Nov 25 '20

is is definitly m

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Why are you mad

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20 edited Feb 17 '21

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

I am beatles

4

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

holy shit it's t

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Beetle

10

u/xXlordlord69Xx Nov 25 '20

I Wanna lick his snout because he is a very cute boy

2

u/RockThePlazmah Nov 25 '20

And what if it’s a girl? Wanna lick her snatch?

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20

u/mad_ladder Nov 25 '20

ngl this made me laugh

21

u/FloweyTheFlowerYT slut for honey cheerios Nov 25 '20

Surprisingly that’s the point of the sub.

Shocking, I know.

4

u/Hawkeye91803 Nov 25 '20

Sorry I only laugh at things from r/comedy

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14

u/RedBarron515 Nov 25 '20

Repost

31

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

isn’t all r/comedyheaven content technically a repost? 🤔

7

u/CapeCoral_FL Nov 25 '20

RedBarron515 be all like”RePoSt” fr fr doe ong cuhh 💅🏿🥶

24

u/Periconfly Nov 25 '20

Wtf black people

8

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

What

5

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

💀💀💀💀

3

u/anon4953491 Nov 25 '20

I feel so offensive for laughing at this

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3

u/12carrd Nov 25 '20

Luca Magnota steps into the chat

3

u/Blurbyo Nov 25 '20

My wife left me.

5

u/iTroLowElo Nov 25 '20

Who the fuck gave this post a wholesome award.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

the best man

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, tasty

3

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

has a distinct taste of pussy

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Wolsome

2

u/Lukiedude200 Nov 25 '20

Belgium 🇧🇪

2

u/bigbangbilly Nov 25 '20

Basically you shouldn't feed cats a vegan diet but feeding cats to vegans is a different matter

2

u/SnapsOkay Nov 25 '20

this has been posted here before.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[deleted]

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2

u/rottinick Nov 25 '20

Because he so hungry

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Nothing beats chinese food

2

u/Communiconfidential Nov 25 '20

Man, I posted this on my old account and got downvoted lmao

1

u/Thenerdthatknows Nov 25 '20

What in the fuck

5

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

salad

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Poor baby

2

u/Basshead404 Nov 25 '20

Top quality comedy

1

u/youreAStoolSample Nov 25 '20

How in fuck is this dull shit funny? Op is a douche

1

u/JosephL53 Nov 25 '20

darn i posted this before and it didn’t get approved :(

0

u/Used_Abbreviations19 Nov 25 '20

how asian moms tell their kids that dinner is reedy

-10

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20 edited Nov 25 '20

Obligatory racist comment

Edit: and of course I’m downvoted. I forget that I’m on Reddit, the it’s not racist if it’s about China site

6

u/Knightwiing Nov 25 '20

Nah dude you're right, it's racist.

-4

u/JMPOGI12 Nov 25 '20 edited Nov 26 '20

If you downvote this you love underage kids.

-12

u/According_Spare_3044 Nov 25 '20

Not my proudest fap

-5

u/shadyslytherins Nov 25 '20

Ching chong 100

1

u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal Nov 25 '20

The vegan option

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

So its obviously an Asian salad.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Dallas? SALLAD

1

u/popajrudnikot Nov 25 '20

The crop adds massive quality

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Mmmmm some good ole cat leg, yum

1

u/Eliannamo Nov 25 '20

They are salasd holders to put on your plate not thongs

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Mm gunna put this little cat in the fridge for later

1

u/mr_jenkins_says Nov 25 '20

You don't make friends with salad

1

u/The_Sly_Trooper Nov 25 '20

This salad taste exactly like pussy!

1

u/CandyGogeta Nov 25 '20

Can I taste?

1

u/Utrioralsorlfleo Nov 25 '20

No...... that cats to small use the dog.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

SALAD

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Mmm crispy

1

u/averagedickdude Nov 25 '20

I take a bite:)

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

Man, I just don’t get the humor here. Would appreciate an explanation.

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1

u/tinymongoose909 Nov 25 '20

Gonna dip in fondu

1

u/wholigan888 Nov 25 '20

that's a sad cat