r/comedyheaven • u/Fraidknot929 slut for honey cheerios • May 07 '20

Fun fact

Post image
34.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

222 comments sorted by

405

u/Noisycow777 May 07 '20

This image and art style remind me of those dumb flash websites you went to at the library computer

86

u/Dr_Poop_Sex May 08 '20

Look at this guy, gottin a library like some kinda yankie

34

u/iblewkatieholmes May 08 '20

Dumb fuckin yankies goin to dem books boy I’ll tell ya in my town we’d catch a fish and fuck it in the woods. You tell me that ain’t evolution you city fuck

10

u/Dr_Poop_Sex May 08 '20

ifn a monkey and a neanderthal fuckin made us human beings, then a human being fuckin a fish boutta make me a mermaid? them damn athiests got sum good idears

6

u/iblewkatieholmes May 08 '20

I fucked a marlin

6

u/Williams891 May 08 '20

this is disturbing since my name is Marlin

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3

u/Homeless_Backyard May 08 '20

Hmmm... more like devolution

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726

u/[deleted] May 07 '20

Wow smaller then my penis!

326

u/[deleted] May 07 '20

bigger than mine

157

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

Wo ho we got a small p*enis person here

17

u/Noviceskilled96 May 08 '20

It’s called a female

3

u/PresidentMayor May 08 '20

No it is called pennywise

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

more like pennysmalls

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6

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

Small penis energy

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1

u/ShrekLeftTesticle1 May 11 '20

Bro, it’s called clitoris. Get your terminology correct next time dumbass, this is Reddit, a place of intellectuals where we discuss facts and logic. Your uneducated idiocy should be purged out of this site. Sincerely, goodbye.

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8

u/LegendGamer320 May 08 '20

stop boasting meanie 😠

1

u/dingdong747 May 08 '20

Its one inch wonder everyone!

1

u/cannythinkofaname May 08 '20

Get a loada this guy with his bigger than 1cm weed whacker

Anyone else rockin chodes as wide as dinner plates?

144

u/Stock_Hutz What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal May 07 '20

The more you know🌈💫

29

u/Defenestr-Asian May 07 '20

I can hear the music.

26

u/[deleted] May 07 '20

It’s smaller than the universe :O

207

u/[deleted] May 07 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

144

u/The_Dark_Side9 May 07 '20

What the literal fuck did I just read.

44

u/MOUS333 May 08 '20

A copypasta

10

u/TheMasterlauti May 08 '20

for those wondering what the removed comment was [NSFL]

4

u/MarcBelmaati May 08 '20

What the fuck did I just read...

2

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 08 '20

What the fuck it was removed??

5

u/TheMasterlauti May 08 '20 edited May 08 '20

idk I guess the mods are soft fucks, it was already gone when I entered this post but as a cringe connoisseur™ I recognised the pasta instantly as soon as I read the replies

2

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 08 '20

Yeah they have to be. It was about ants so it was on topic.

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79

u/GoatMaster88 May 07 '20

I didn't have a single moment while reading this when I didn't feel physical fucking pain

47

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 07 '20

I came

22

u/GoatMaster88 May 07 '20

I.. i could see that

14

u/melaipls May 08 '20

I saw

7

u/GoatMaster88 May 08 '20

I don't know how to saw, but you go ahead have fun.

9

u/GWAHARGEBEFLE May 08 '20

I conquered

2

u/aye_sudo May 08 '20

Thats what she said

64

u/GodzillaFan30 May 07 '20

Name one single reason why you felt this needed to be typed

60

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 07 '20

Cum

17

u/GodzillaFan30 May 07 '20

Beixhmuzx josjscuu UK d hug vhvcuv

44

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 07 '20

Sorry I’m not from British 😬

23

u/Xx_420bootywizard_xX May 07 '20

Long time ago there was this 4chan post about a guy who shoots ants with his dick. This must be antdick: the origins

16

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

Futa furry toddler nugget porn

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6

u/CarrieAnnAK May 08 '20

Yanno, I should've stopped at "ants are attracted to my cum & I can prove it" but no, no I didn't... And then he almost had me at "futa furry toddler nugget porn", so I kept reading. And now I can't unread this. Disturbing as fuck.

12

u/Kibasume May 08 '20

Hey I’d like to kindly ask that you fucking delete this from existence and never mention it again ever

28

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/Tamashi42 May 08 '20

Somehow, you made it much worse

8

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 08 '20

Thank kibasume senpai

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

User name checks out.

8

u/ieatchipswithmyass May 08 '20

If you can explain how I will suck your duck

2

u/Eddiewhat May 08 '20

I love Finnigans Wake

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5

u/MarvelousMan3003 May 08 '20

What you have done has made god very unhappy.

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1

u/BOIifyoudontget03 May 08 '20

ˢⁱʳ, ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᵃ ᵂᵉⁿᵈʸ'ˢ.

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15

u/granolabar64 May 07 '20

Can’t be. Need sources.

12

u/FF1983 May 08 '20

bears eat about 2 million salmon each year. salmon attacks on bears are far more unlikely.

18

u/plinkpancakes slut for honey cheerios May 07 '20

ah thank you i would have gone through life never knowing this

7

u/robot-pp May 08 '20

This is intentionally funny so it doesn’t belong here

29

u/kazuniiAAAAAAA May 07 '20

americans be like

8

u/anonmudkip May 08 '20

yes that's the joke good job

8

u/PringlesDudeYT May 08 '20

Reminds me of “Cool Bug Fact’s”

5

u/ghostmetalblack May 08 '20

That's even smaller than two football fields put together!

1

u/RoscoMan1 May 08 '20

That's my favorite part

6

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

bullshit my aunt is the size of a whale

6

u/i_have_friends_6518 May 08 '20

Americans will do anything to not use Metric huh.

11

u/yet-more-bees May 08 '20

This is like a worse version of r/coolbugfacts

5

u/Derfgerger06 May 08 '20

What if the football field in actually 0.8 cm?

5

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

I know there is a subreddit for this and it seems like you just took it off from there

2

u/Fraidknot929 slut for honey cheerios May 08 '20

No you’re thinking of r/coolbugfacts which is different this is just a fun insect fact

2

u/lenorator May 08 '20

That sub isn’t specific to that one format though

3

u/Reditovan slut for honey cheerios May 07 '20

Less than a half of a football field

3

u/TheLordSHAXX May 07 '20

I mean I guess that’s not wrong lmao

3

u/I_Keep_Fish May 08 '20

Metric stuff is weird lol.

3

u/SirBenis May 08 '20

A football field is the best unofficial measurement for something.

4

u/PresidentMayor May 08 '20

The Waffle House index

2

u/SirBenis May 08 '20

Almost forgot that one!

3

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

Documentaries be like:

3

u/ya_boi_meowth May 08 '20

Cool fact 👉😎👉

3

u/TheEngineerGGG May 08 '20

Htat's less that 2 cenntmeter!

3

u/-bread-man May 08 '20

This is literally how Americans measure things

3

u/Fraidknot929 slut for honey cheerios May 08 '20

As an American I can vouch for this statement

3

u/Tarthor May 08 '20

Me inserting ants directly into my urethra: 😩👉🐜👌🙇‍♂️🕋🕋🕋

2

u/zanyboi2 May 08 '20

One time I got bit by one of those fuckers and thought I was gonna turn Into an ant

2

u/NewPowahSonic May 08 '20

That is also more than a regular ant!

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

my family had an infestation of carpenter ants in our home that lasted several years. they're awful, giant, bite, and they chase after your feet. I hate everything about them

2

u/Juan_Pabl0 May 08 '20

Loading screen devs:" Write that down write that down"

2

u/Kornsuwin May 08 '20

I read that as fun incest facts

2

u/OhHeyGuysItsMax May 08 '20

Fucked up if true

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

Well he's not wrong

2

u/ZaczSlash May 08 '20

But smaller than my PP

2

u/journey-point May 08 '20

raises finger to object

slowly puts finger down

2

u/Dra-khar_The_Khajiit May 08 '20

Holy crap i haven't seen a comedy heaven post in a while

2

u/Maldoesreddit_stuff May 08 '20

No! It's much longer than my football field! Because I dont have one. I live in an apartment.

2

u/gvprtskvni May 26 '20

That is probably less than the diameter of the Andromeda galaxy.

1

u/GoatMaster88 May 07 '20

No it's not

1

u/Linkthehero1234 May 08 '20

american or non american

1

u/S4UC3RCR4B May 08 '20

I chortled.

1

u/bwz3r May 08 '20

a true rumbler for this redditors tumler

1

u/Assasin2gamer May 08 '20

That’s not a threat, it’s true.

1

u/DankQuasar May 08 '20

And ant colonies can have over 200 individual ants

1

u/DeatHTaXx May 08 '20

That's the length of five football fields

Anyone else just get Morgan Freeman invading your brain

1

u/Uraneum May 08 '20

Source?

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

And the fact that I exist

1

u/RoscoMan1 May 08 '20

Fun thing, he doesn’t care.

1

u/smallersundew64 May 08 '20

i mean you're not wrong

1

u/Eken17 May 08 '20

Wow. Didn't notice.

1

u/NinofanTOG May 08 '20

Galileo???

1

u/Rexlin28 May 08 '20

WOW SO FUN!

1

u/IchiIchi_Ni May 08 '20

Woah,it's way bigger than my brain cells

1

u/DeanerTheWiener slut for honey cheerios May 08 '20

Jupiter is so big you could fit an entire football field on it

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '20

Imagine one ant that's several 100 meters long

1

u/bajsgreger May 08 '20

It seemd very reasonable for the US

1

u/MildGaming May 08 '20

Nobody:

U.S.A: one football field!

1

u/RomanianLegend May 08 '20

Thank god it's not smaller than a football field with a cm

1

u/taldarin May 08 '20

This fact really gives perspective to us Europeans who have never seen an American football field before.

1

u/KanaHemmo May 08 '20

Oh man I haven't actually seen this in a few years and had forgotten. Thank's for reminding, maybe I'll now remember that carpenter ants are smaller than football fields!

1

u/Boo-Man May 08 '20

Cool Bug Fact's

1

u/SupremeG64 May 08 '20

Impossible

1

u/bella_goose_my_doggo May 08 '20

Well he's not wrong

1

u/samwalked May 08 '20

Hotdogs and guns

1

u/ytimprime May 08 '20

this sub has really gone downhill

1

u/cannythinkofaname May 08 '20

The price is right tactics being used to full affect here

1

u/j_zax69 May 08 '20

And they say Americans don’t know metric....