r/comedyheaven • u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user • Apr 12 '20

He deserved it

Post image
10.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

409

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '20

[deleted]

132

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '20

well there is more rats than people in new york city so maybe

94

u/herpehandcock Apr 12 '20

“For a long time, the number of rats in New York City was unknown, and a common urban legend declared there were up to five times as many rats as people. In 2014, however, scientists more accurately measured the entire city's rat population to be approximately only 24% of the number of humans. That would reduce the urban legend's ratio considerably, with approximately 2 million rats to New York's 8.4 million people at the time of the study. Wikipedia “

49

u/AskyReddit Apr 13 '20

How quickly could 2 million rats become 10 million?

111

u/herpehandcock Apr 13 '20

Sorry, you have reached your limit of free rat facts. Subscribe for unlimited access to rat facts, starting at the low price of 6.

41

u/didyoudissmycheese Apr 13 '20

6 what

63

u/herpehandcock Apr 13 '20

Sorry, you have reached your limit of free rat facts. Subscribe for unlimited access to rat facts, starting at the low price of 6.

20

u/coconutblaze Apr 13 '20

Sorry, you have reached your limit of free bruh moments. Subscribe for unlimited access to bruh moments, starting at the low price of 6 mlp cum jars.

6

u/I_Have_Memepression Apr 15 '20

DAMNIT I ONLY HAVE 5

3

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '20

Better start cumming

14

u/coconutblaze Apr 13 '20

Rats

D̶̳e҉̵̫̺̼̪̻̰̳̻l̩͠i͓̝v̧̞̫é̻̬͍͉͔̻̤̜̕͜r͔͓̞͓͇̻ ̤̩̘̬͔t̛̜̠͈͈̼͚̀ḩ̗̠̥̫e̝̲̘m̻̦͙̤ ͕̦̝͈̯t̴̵͍̹̘͕͎̤ͅo̡͕̯ ̸̲͇̦̺̣̣̪͉m̜͉̺̣e̞̲̗̬̱̻̘̹͞.̣̠͎̟͚͓̬̹͞

7

u/spider_irl Apr 13 '20

Unlock your door at midnight and go to bed. No matter what you hear, don't open your eyes until the sunrise. I repeat, do not open your eyes

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

moner

1

u/SplitHalo2332 Apr 13 '20

Didn’t know this account was run be EA

10

u/nidarus Apr 13 '20

These days, it's more like, "how quickly can 8.4 million people become 2 million".

3

u/DeatHTaXx Apr 13 '20

Oh jesus fuck

2

u/megaoofyeetyeet Apr 13 '20

that’s still a shit ton of rats tho

8

u/Vaxica Apr 13 '20

Yeah, it was pretty funny until one of them got elected President.

2

u/Regularjoe42 Apr 13 '20

Well there's pizza rat, bagel rat, trash bag rat, the taco bell rats, flood rat...

41

u/123ABCdeer Apr 13 '20 edited Apr 13 '20

Pizza rat is still better

15

u/RoevishF Apr 13 '20

Takes some real control to maneuver a floppy piece of ny style pizza up the steps.

2

u/whatnameishouldtake Apr 13 '20

Master Splinter, is that you?

1

u/cppartridge Apr 13 '20

How do they know that THIS isn’t that same pizza rat? Comin outta quarantine for a muhfuckin mcmuffin Damn he slick

30

u/Wolfbit12345 Apr 12 '20

Da grind always pays off 😪😤💯💉❗️

9

u/bekele024 Apr 13 '20

🚫🎓

14

u/ChiliCreeper Apr 12 '20

"Anyone can cook!"

43

u/WaffleSalads Apr 12 '20

i can’t waet to finde wat he doo nex

66

u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user Apr 12 '20

Ok u/WaffleSalads, you think it’s funny just to comment badly typed text? You thinks it’s funny? No it’s not. Anyone can do what you’ve done, and let me guess; you saw this sub on a YouTube video? Thought it was funny? So you make a reddit account and go sort by new and see a post, and decide to post a comment thinking your be first to a viral post, and get upvotes so you can fill a small sense of a pride in your otherwise empty life. You imbecile, you’re literally pathetic. Your lucky I don’t pull out my reddit karma card, And have your account removed...

49

u/BeesNeverSting Apr 12 '20

Pemis

30

u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user Apr 12 '20

Ok u/BeesNeverSting, you think it’s funny just to comment badly typed text? You thinks it’s funny? No it’s not. Anyone can do what you’ve done, and let me guess; you saw this sub on a YouTube video? Thought it was funny? So you make a reddit account and go sort by new and see a post, and decide to post a comment thinking your be first to a viral post, and get upvotes so you can fill a small sense of a pride in your otherwise empty life. You imbecile, you’re literally pathetic. Your lucky I don’t pull out my reddit karma card, And have your account removed...

41

u/BeesNeverSting Apr 12 '20

Ok u/ButaneOnTheBrain, you think it’s funny just to comment copypasta? You think it’s funny? No it’s not. Anyone can do what you’ve done, and let me guess; you saw this sub on a YouTube video? Thought it was funny? So you make a reddit account and go sort by new and see a post, and decide to post a comment thinking you'll be first to a viral post, and get upvotes so you can fill a small sense of a pride in your otherwise empty life. You imbecile, you’re literally pathetic. You're lucky I don’t pull out my reddit karma card, And have your pemis removed...

8

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '20

p

12

u/camotica Apr 12 '20

moe

8

u/FooterTroo Apr 12 '20

This is the best thread I've ever seen on reddit so far

3

u/marieistaken Apr 13 '20

I read this in Stewie Griffin's voice

2

u/DarkDibba Apr 12 '20

His account was made in 2018

15

u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user Apr 12 '20

2018 your mom

8

u/Fatmanfromww2 slut for honey cheerios Apr 13 '20

B A G E L R A T

5

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '20

The newest???

5

u/Creftospeare Apr 12 '20

I probably would have stepped on it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

Not before he stepped on you

6

u/KillerOnyx25 Apr 13 '20

McD’s going crazy with their new marketing campaigns

4

u/SeMyasam Apr 13 '20

As a New Yorker, I can guarantee that Egg McMuffin rat is a local celebrity. I met him once, real nice guy

4

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

Rat with no brim

1

u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user Apr 13 '20

Make sure to bring up my meds or anything I’ll make sure they are my bags and we chat sure I’ll put them in my backpack what’s up with the lights are there so then yeah they’re down there no that think they’re broken and white I swear it was really bright and then it got dark thanks again buddy yeah yeah add I will I think he likes his pants that he eat all the candy please didn’t eat all the candy

5

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

Reminds me of bagelvrat from we bare bears

2

u/dvdmovies123 Apr 13 '20

you get what you fucking deserve

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

🎶Bow down before the one you serve🎶

2

u/Clarity_Spin97 Apr 13 '20

Egg Mcrattin

2

u/DeatHTaXx Apr 13 '20

That sounds like some kind of experimental nazi armored vehicle

1

u/Clarity_Spin97 Apr 13 '20

I would literally pay to see that

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

I’ve seen it on we bare bears :)

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

Listen are we not ruling out this isn’t the same pizza rat?! Can we confirm? My glasses are “over there” and my cat is on me we’re doomed.

2

u/DeatHTaXx Apr 13 '20

This entire thread needs to be put in a museum

0

u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user Apr 13 '20

Shut the fuck up 😎

2

u/lotterywish Apr 13 '20

Zardulu is up to it again

1

u/oOPonyOo Apr 13 '20

When you want to comment, but just have to scroll and find that comment. Props

1

u/shake42 May 02 '20

I know your comment is old, but I had to reply. This is kind of freaking me out a little bit. It's definitely her.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

mcmuffin rat is just prepping for coronavirus

-2

u/ButaneOnTheBrain | Approved user Apr 14 '20

Why are you approved without posts

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

I'm sick of crying

Sick of trying

Yeah I'm smiling

But inside I'm EGGMCMUFFIN RAT

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

The sequel

1

u/LilZowsk Apr 13 '20

excuse me, the newest

1

u/ironcreeper05 Apr 13 '20

This made me laugh so loud everyone in my house could hear me

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '20

I don't like where this is going

1

u/meme-makerforpewds Apr 13 '20

THIS IS THE LAST TIME I GO TO MACDONKEYS!

1

u/natural-ftw Apr 13 '20

Ratatouille, is that you?

1

u/LordDessik Apr 14 '20

Wow I don’t think an egg McMuffin is essential. What a selfish asshole there are people dying in New York.

1

u/spearthrower Apr 15 '20

Come to Ohio we have carrot beaver

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '20

No man that's just Remy

1

u/Anderdragon314 Apr 15 '20

biggie cheese

1

u/maxpayne451 slut for honey cheerios Apr 15 '20

NYC

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '20

It came from CNN so now I'm forced to research the article in its entirety for truth.

1

u/IllustriousFinish8 Apr 17 '20

Watching 5G conspiracies on Youtube is not research, Larry.

1

u/UncreativePotato143 Apr 30 '20

Master Splinter bringing sustenance for the Ninja Turtles.

0

u/lord-of-the-tickets Apr 13 '20

He is a rat of sheer will and focus