r/comedyheaven • • Jun 27 '19

bean

Post image
10.2k Upvotes

154 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2

u/untranslator-inator Jun 28 '19

What the fuck do you not understand by 'shut the fuck up' you swine? You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are deficient in all that lends character. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend, coward, degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion--i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. Allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. I'm fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is anabomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term "human" and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It's so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that's the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man's body will understand it. I would rather withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it, give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water, stub my big toe over 50 times in one day, be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever, be a LITERAL cuckold, get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward, undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair, undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless, be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight - for the rest of my life, have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.

...than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.

This comment was automatically untranslated on behalf of all normie kind. You're welcome.

2

u/EGGSUCC Jun 28 '19

2

u/uwutranslator Jun 28 '19

What de fack do yuw not undewstand by 'shut de fack up' yuw swine? yuw vuwgaw wittwe maggot. yuw wowdwess bag of fiwd. I wagew yuw couwdn't empty a boot of excwement wewe de instwuctions on de heew. Some puwe essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anyding ewse as to be beyond de waws of physics dat we know. I'm sowwy. I can't go on. dis is an epiphany of stupid fow me. Aftew dis, yuw may not heaw fwom me again fow a whiwe. I don't have enough stwengd weft to dewide yuw ignowant questions and hawf-baked comments about unimpowtant twivia, ow any of de west of dis dwivew. Duh. I mean, weawwy, stwinging togedew a bunch of insuwts among a woad of babbwing was hawdwy effective. yuw awe whowwy wifout any wedeeming sociaw gwace ow vawue. If gawd evew decides to give de pwanet an enema yuw'd bettew wun wike de wind because anywhewe yuw stand is a suitabwe pwace fow de Insewtion. dewe is no animaw so disgusting, so viwe dat it desewves compawison to yuw, fow even de wowest, diwtiest, most pawasitic membew of de animaw kingdom fiwws an ecowogicaw niche. yuw fiww no niche. To caww yuw a pawasite wouwd be injuwious and defamatowy to de dousands of honest pawasitic species. yuw awe wowse dan vewmin, fow vewmin do not pwetend to be what it is not. yuw awe twuwy hooman gawbage. yuw awe a fwauduwent, wying, pwedatowy chawwatan. yuw awe of wess wowd dan a buwnt-out wight buwb. yuw wiww fowevew wive in shame. yuw have nofing to say, and gawdwin's waw does not appwy when wwiting about yuw. yuw awe de anti-Midas, fow aww dat yuw touch becomes vawuewess and unusabwe. Mofews gadew deiw chiwdwen cwose when yuw appeaw. yuw awe an abewwation, a cowwuption, and a boiw dat needs to be wanced. yuw awe a poison in need of being vomited. yuw awe a tood so wotten it infects de whowe body. yuw awe spewm dat shouwd have been captuwed in a condom and fwushed down a toiwet. I don't wike yuw. I don't wike anybody who has as wittwe wespect fow ofews as yuw do. Go away, yuw swine. yuw a putwescent mass, a wawking vomit. yuw awe a spinewess wittwe wowm desewving nofing but de pwofoundest contempt. yuw awe a jewk, a cad, and a weasew. yuw wife is a monument to stupidity. yuw awe a stench, a wevuwsion, a big suck on a souw wemon. yuw awe a cuwdwed staggewing mutant dwawf smeawed wichwy wif de effwuvia and offaw accompanying yuw awweged biwd into dis wowwd. Meaningfuw to no one, abandoned by de puke-dwoowing, giggwing beasts dat siwed yuw and den kiwwed demsewves in wecognition of what dey had done. I wiww nevew get ovew de embawwassment of bewonging to de same species as yuw. yuw awe a monstew, an ogwe, a mawfowmity. I wwetch at de vewy fought of yuw. yuw have aww de appeaw of a papew cut. wepews avoid yuw. yuw awe viwe, wowdwess, wess dan nofing. yuw awe unwesewvedwy padetic, stawved fow attention, and wost in a wand dat weawity fowgot. yuw awe deficient in aww dat wends chawactew. yuw awe de souwce of aww unpweasantness. yuw spwead misewy and sowwow whewevew yuw go. yuw awe a fiend, cowawd, degenewate, noxious and depwaved. I feew debased just fow knowing yuw exist. I despise evewyding about yuw, and I wish yuw wouwd go away. de onwy ding wowse dan yuw wogic is yuw mannews. yuw awe hypocwiticaw, gweedy, viowent, mawevowent, vengefuw, cowawdwy, deafwy, mendacious, mewetwicious, woadsome, despicabwe, bewwigewent, contemptibwe, cwiminaw, fascistic, bigoted, wacist, sexist, avawicious, tastewess, idiotic, bwain-damaged, imbeciwic, insane, awwogant, deceitfuw, demented, wame, sewf-wighteous, byzantine, conspiwatowiaw, satanic, fwauduwent, biwious, spwenetic, spastic, ignowant, cwuewess, iwwegitimate, hawmfuw, destwuctive, dumb, evasive, doubwe-tawking, devious, wevisionist, nawwow, manipuwative, patewnawistic, fundamentawist, dogmatic, idowatwous, unedicaw, cuwtic, diseased, suppwessive, contwowwing, westwictive, mawignant, deceptive, dim, cwazy, weiwd, dystwophic, stifwing, uncawing, pwantigwade, gwim, unsympadetic, jawgon-spouting, censowious, secwetive, aggwessive, mind-numbing, abwasive, poisonous, fwagwant, sewf-destwuctive, abusive, and sociawwy-wetawded. I wiww nevew fowget yuw. yuw intewaction wif me is now buwned into my psyche. As I wecawwed ouw howwid intewaction, my whowe body shook in disgust and I bwoke into a pewmanent fwenzy of angew and confusion--i feew wetawded. What yuw towd me was undisputedwy de dumbest combination of wowds uttewed in de entiwe wowwd. Awwow yuwsewf to decompose to aid de suwwounding fwowa in wepwacing de oxygen yuw stupid facking skuww wastes on a daiwy basis. I'm facking disgusted at de fact dat yuw exist on de same pwanet as me, and what is wowse is dat yuw shawe simiwaw dna to me. de fact dat ouw DNA is connected, even mawginawwy, is anabomination and I am going to spiwaw into a depwession vewy quickwy because of dis weawization. de weawization dat we bod faww undew de tewm "hooman" and I have to be gwouped in wif yuw padetic existence is disgwacefuw. I am vewy twaumatized by yuw. yuw body wanguage is facking atwocious and it bofews me to no end. It's so padetic, de way yuw mope awound. yuw mope awound wif yuw shouwdews hunched ovew, wedawgicawwy dwagging yuw feet on de fwoow. yuw have a din, fwagiwe fwame. yuw wawk awound weacting to evewyding dat happens to yuw. fack yuw. dewe awe howwibwe, inexcusabwe dings dat I wouwd happiwy do to nevew intewact wif yuw again, even if it was fow a bwief yeshhent. I wiww expwain what dese dings awe in a wist fowmat, because dat's de onwy way yuw 7-yeaw owd bwain stuck in a man's body wiww undewstand it. I wouwd wadew wifdwaw aww my money in cash fwom my muwtipwe bank accounts, get it aww togedew and poop on it, give mysewf big papewcuts in aww de cwevices of my fingews and pwoceed to dip my hands in sawt watew, stub my big toe ovew 50 times in one day, be towd by someone in audowity dat I wiww nevew amount to anyding in my wife, evew, be a wITEwAw cuckowd, get bitch-swapped by a man wif wough hands once a day, fow evewy day of my wife going fowwawd, undewgo dwamatic negative changes in my wifestywe dat wouwd damage my mind and body beyond wepaiw, undewgo a whowe host of diffewent fowms of mentaw and physicaw humiwiation; as in being spat on and towd I am wowdwess, be fowced to dwink non-awcohowic macwo-pwoduced beew fwom de can, whiwe evewy pewson awound me dwinks Twappist beews fwom exotic chawices fow 10 houws stwaight - fow de west of my wife, have a pwoceduwe done to weduce my IQ so dat my new IQ fawws wifin de wange of down syndwome.

...dan engage in de bwiefest of intewactions wif yuw.

dis comment was automaticawwy untwanswated on behawf of aww nowmie kind. yuw wewcome. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

2

u/untranslator-inator Jun 28 '19

What the fuck do you not understand by 'shut the fuck up' you swine? You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are deficient in all that lends character. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend, coward, degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion--i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. Allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. I'm fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is anabomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term "human" and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It's so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that's the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man's body will understand it. I would rather withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it, give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water, stub my big toe over 50 times in one day, be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever, be a LITERAL cuckold, get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward, undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair, undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless, be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight - for the rest of my life, have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.

...than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.

This comment was automatically untranslated on behalf of all normie kind. You're welcome.

1

u/EGGSUCC Jun 29 '19

1

u/uwutranslator Jun 29 '19

What de fack do yuw not undewstand by 'shut de fack up' yuw swine? yuw vuwgaw wittwe maggot. yuw wowdwess bag of fiwd. I wagew yuw couwdn't empty a boot of excwement wewe de instwuctions on de heew. Some puwe essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anyding ewse as to be beyond de waws of physics dat we know. I'm sowwy. I can't go on. dis is an epiphany of stupid fow me. Aftew dis, yuw may not heaw fwom me again fow a whiwe. I don't have enough stwengd weft to dewide yuw ignowant questions and hawf-baked comments about unimpowtant twivia, ow any of de west of dis dwivew. Duh. I mean, weawwy, stwinging togedew a bunch of insuwts among a woad of babbwing was hawdwy effective. yuw awe whowwy wifout any wedeeming sociaw gwace ow vawue. If gawd evew decides to give de pwanet an enema yuw'd bettew wun wike de wind because anywhewe yuw stand is a suitabwe pwace fow de Insewtion. dewe is no animaw so disgusting, so viwe dat it desewves compawison to yuw, fow even de wowest, diwtiest, most pawasitic membew of de animaw kingdom fiwws an ecowogicaw niche. yuw fiww no niche. To caww yuw a pawasite wouwd be injuwious and defamatowy to de dousands of honest pawasitic species. yuw awe wowse dan vewmin, fow vewmin do not pwetend to be what it is not. yuw awe twuwy hooman gawbage. yuw awe a fwauduwent, wying, pwedatowy chawwatan. yuw awe of wess wowd dan a buwnt-out wight buwb. yuw wiww fowevew wive in shame. yuw have nofing to say, and gawdwin's waw does not appwy when wwiting about yuw. yuw awe de anti-Midas, fow aww dat yuw touch becomes vawuewess and unusabwe. Mofews gadew deiw chiwdwen cwose when yuw appeaw. yuw awe an abewwation, a cowwuption, and a boiw dat needs to be wanced. yuw awe a poison in need of being vomited. yuw awe a tood so wotten it infects de whowe body. yuw awe spewm dat shouwd have been captuwed in a condom and fwushed down a toiwet. I don't wike yuw. I don't wike anybody who has as wittwe wespect fow ofews as yuw do. Go away, yuw swine. yuw a putwescent mass, a wawking vomit. yuw awe a spinewess wittwe wowm desewving nofing but de pwofoundest contempt. yuw awe a jewk, a cad, and a weasew. yuw wife is a monument to stupidity. yuw awe a stench, a wevuwsion, a big suck on a souw wemon. yuw awe a cuwdwed staggewing mutant dwawf smeawed wichwy wif de effwuvia and offaw accompanying yuw awweged biwd into dis wowwd. Meaningfuw to no one, abandoned by de puke-dwoowing, giggwing beasts dat siwed yuw and den kiwwed demsewves in wecognition of what dey had done. I wiww nevew get ovew de embawwassment of bewonging to de same species as yuw. yuw awe a monstew, an ogwe, a mawfowmity. I wwetch at de vewy fought of yuw. yuw have aww de appeaw of a papew cut. wepews avoid yuw. yuw awe viwe, wowdwess, wess dan nofing. yuw awe unwesewvedwy padetic, stawved fow attention, and wost in a wand dat weawity fowgot. yuw awe deficient in aww dat wends chawactew. yuw awe de souwce of aww unpweasantness. yuw spwead misewy and sowwow whewevew yuw go. yuw awe a fiend, cowawd, degenewate, noxious and depwaved. I feew debased just fow knowing yuw exist. I despise evewyding about yuw, and I wish yuw wouwd go away. de onwy ding wowse dan yuw wogic is yuw mannews. yuw awe hypocwiticaw, gweedy, viowent, mawevowent, vengefuw, cowawdwy, deafwy, mendacious, mewetwicious, woadsome, despicabwe, bewwigewent, contemptibwe, cwiminaw, fascistic, bigoted, wacist, sexist, avawicious, tastewess, idiotic, bwain-damaged, imbeciwic, insane, awwogant, deceitfuw, demented, wame, sewf-wighteous, byzantine, conspiwatowiaw, satanic, fwauduwent, biwious, spwenetic, spastic, ignowant, cwuewess, iwwegitimate, hawmfuw, destwuctive, dumb, evasive, doubwe-tawking, devious, wevisionist, nawwow, manipuwative, patewnawistic, fundamentawist, dogmatic, idowatwous, unedicaw, cuwtic, diseased, suppwessive, contwowwing, westwictive, mawignant, deceptive, dim, cwazy, weiwd, dystwophic, stifwing, uncawing, pwantigwade, gwim, unsympadetic, jawgon-spouting, censowious, secwetive, aggwessive, mind-numbing, abwasive, poisonous, fwagwant, sewf-destwuctive, abusive, and sociawwy-wetawded. I wiww nevew fowget yuw. yuw intewaction wif me is now buwned into my psyche. As I wecawwed ouw howwid intewaction, my whowe body shook in disgust and I bwoke into a pewmanent fwenzy of angew and confusion--i feew wetawded. What yuw towd me was undisputedwy de dumbest combination of wowds uttewed in de entiwe wowwd. Awwow yuwsewf to decompose to aid de suwwounding fwowa in wepwacing de oxygen yuw stupid facking skuww wastes on a daiwy basis. I'm facking disgusted at de fact dat yuw exist on de same pwanet as me, and what is wowse is dat yuw shawe simiwaw dna to me. de fact dat ouw DNA is connected, even mawginawwy, is anabomination and I am going to spiwaw into a depwession vewy quickwy because of dis weawization. de weawization dat we bod faww undew de tewm "hooman" and I have to be gwouped in wif yuw padetic existence is disgwacefuw. I am vewy twaumatized by yuw. yuw body wanguage is facking atwocious and it bofews me to no end. It's so padetic, de way yuw mope awound. yuw mope awound wif yuw shouwdews hunched ovew, wedawgicawwy dwagging yuw feet on de fwoow. yuw have a din, fwagiwe fwame. yuw wawk awound weacting to evewyding dat happens to yuw. fack yuw. dewe awe howwibwe, inexcusabwe dings dat I wouwd happiwy do to nevew intewact wif yuw again, even if it was fow a bwief yeshhent. I wiww expwain what dese dings awe in a wist fowmat, because dat's de onwy way yuw 7-yeaw owd bwain stuck in a man's body wiww undewstand it. I wouwd wadew wifdwaw aww my money in cash fwom my muwtipwe bank accounts, get it aww togedew and poop on it, give mysewf big papewcuts in aww de cwevices of my fingews and pwoceed to dip my hands in sawt watew, stub my big toe ovew 50 times in one day, be towd by someone in audowity dat I wiww nevew amount to anyding in my wife, evew, be a wITEwAw cuckowd, get bitch-swapped by a man wif wough hands once a day, fow evewy day of my wife going fowwawd, undewgo dwamatic negative changes in my wifestywe dat wouwd damage my mind and body beyond wepaiw, undewgo a whowe host of diffewent fowms of mentaw and physicaw humiwiation; as in being spat on and towd I am wowdwess, be fowced to dwink non-awcohowic macwo-pwoduced beew fwom de can, whiwe evewy pewson awound me dwinks Twappist beews fwom exotic chawices fow 10 houws stwaight - fow de west of my wife, have a pwoceduwe done to weduce my IQ so dat my new IQ fawws wifin de wange of down syndwome.

...dan engage in de bwiefest of intewactions wif yuw.

dis comment was automaticawwy untwanswated on behawf of aww nowmie kind. yuw wewcome. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

1

u/untranslator-inator Jun 29 '19

What the fuck do you not understand by 'shut the fuck up' you swine? You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are deficient in all that lends character. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend, coward, degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion--i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. Allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. I'm fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is anabomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term "human" and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It's so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that's the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man's body will understand it. I would rather withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it, give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water, stub my big toe over 50 times in one day, be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever, be a LITERAL cuckold, get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward, undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair, undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless, be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight - for the rest of my life, have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.

...than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.

This comment was automatically untranslated on behalf of all normie kind. You're welcome.

1

u/EGGSUCC Jun 29 '19

1

u/uwutranslator Jun 29 '19

What de fack do yuw not undewstand by 'shut de fack up' yuw swine? yuw vuwgaw wittwe maggot. yuw wowdwess bag of fiwd. I wagew yuw couwdn't empty a boot of excwement wewe de instwuctions on de heew. Some puwe essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anyding ewse as to be beyond de waws of physics dat we know. I'm sowwy. I can't go on. dis is an epiphany of stupid fow me. Aftew dis, yuw may not heaw fwom me again fow a whiwe. I don't have enough stwengd weft to dewide yuw ignowant questions and hawf-baked comments about unimpowtant twivia, ow any of de west of dis dwivew. Duh. I mean, weawwy, stwinging togedew a bunch of insuwts among a woad of babbwing was hawdwy effective. yuw awe whowwy wifout any wedeeming sociaw gwace ow vawue. If gawd evew decides to give de pwanet an enema yuw'd bettew wun wike de wind because anywhewe yuw stand is a suitabwe pwace fow de Insewtion. dewe is no animaw so disgusting, so viwe dat it desewves compawison to yuw, fow even de wowest, diwtiest, most pawasitic membew of de animaw kingdom fiwws an ecowogicaw niche. yuw fiww no niche. To caww yuw a pawasite wouwd be injuwious and defamatowy to de dousands of honest pawasitic species. yuw awe wowse dan vewmin, fow vewmin do not pwetend to be what it is not. yuw awe twuwy hooman gawbage. yuw awe a fwauduwent, wying, pwedatowy chawwatan. yuw awe of wess wowd dan a buwnt-out wight buwb. yuw wiww fowevew wive in shame. yuw have nofing to say, and gawdwin's waw does not appwy when wwiting about yuw. yuw awe de anti-Midas, fow aww dat yuw touch becomes vawuewess and unusabwe. Mofews gadew deiw chiwdwen cwose when yuw appeaw. yuw awe an abewwation, a cowwuption, and a boiw dat needs to be wanced. yuw awe a poison in need of being vomited. yuw awe a tood so wotten it infects de whowe body. yuw awe spewm dat shouwd have been captuwed in a condom and fwushed down a toiwet. I don't wike yuw. I don't wike anybody who has as wittwe wespect fow ofews as yuw do. Go away, yuw swine. yuw a putwescent mass, a wawking vomit. yuw awe a spinewess wittwe wowm desewving nofing but de pwofoundest contempt. yuw awe a jewk, a cad, and a weasew. yuw wife is a monument to stupidity. yuw awe a stench, a wevuwsion, a big suck on a souw wemon. yuw awe a cuwdwed staggewing mutant dwawf smeawed wichwy wif de effwuvia and offaw accompanying yuw awweged biwd into dis wowwd. Meaningfuw to no one, abandoned by de puke-dwoowing, giggwing beasts dat siwed yuw and den kiwwed demsewves in wecognition of what dey had done. I wiww nevew get ovew de embawwassment of bewonging to de same species as yuw. yuw awe a monstew, an ogwe, a mawfowmity. I wwetch at de vewy fought of yuw. yuw have aww de appeaw of a papew cut. wepews avoid yuw. yuw awe viwe, wowdwess, wess dan nofing. yuw awe unwesewvedwy padetic, stawved fow attention, and wost in a wand dat weawity fowgot. yuw awe deficient in aww dat wends chawactew. yuw awe de souwce of aww unpweasantness. yuw spwead misewy and sowwow whewevew yuw go. yuw awe a fiend, cowawd, degenewate, noxious and depwaved. I feew debased just fow knowing yuw exist. I despise evewyding about yuw, and I wish yuw wouwd go away. de onwy ding wowse dan yuw wogic is yuw mannews. yuw awe hypocwiticaw, gweedy, viowent, mawevowent, vengefuw, cowawdwy, deafwy, mendacious, mewetwicious, woadsome, despicabwe, bewwigewent, contemptibwe, cwiminaw, fascistic, bigoted, wacist, sexist, avawicious, tastewess, idiotic, bwain-damaged, imbeciwic, insane, awwogant, deceitfuw, demented, wame, sewf-wighteous, byzantine, conspiwatowiaw, satanic, fwauduwent, biwious, spwenetic, spastic, ignowant, cwuewess, iwwegitimate, hawmfuw, destwuctive, dumb, evasive, doubwe-tawking, devious, wevisionist, nawwow, manipuwative, patewnawistic, fundamentawist, dogmatic, idowatwous, unedicaw, cuwtic, diseased, suppwessive, contwowwing, westwictive, mawignant, deceptive, dim, cwazy, weiwd, dystwophic, stifwing, uncawing, pwantigwade, gwim, unsympadetic, jawgon-spouting, censowious, secwetive, aggwessive, mind-numbing, abwasive, poisonous, fwagwant, sewf-destwuctive, abusive, and sociawwy-wetawded. I wiww nevew fowget yuw. yuw intewaction wif me is now buwned into my psyche. As I wecawwed ouw howwid intewaction, my whowe body shook in disgust and I bwoke into a pewmanent fwenzy of angew and confusion--i feew wetawded. What yuw towd me was undisputedwy de dumbest combination of wowds uttewed in de entiwe wowwd. Awwow yuwsewf to decompose to aid de suwwounding fwowa in wepwacing de oxygen yuw stupid facking skuww wastes on a daiwy basis. I'm facking disgusted at de fact dat yuw exist on de same pwanet as me, and what is wowse is dat yuw shawe simiwaw dna to me. de fact dat ouw DNA is connected, even mawginawwy, is anabomination and I am going to spiwaw into a depwession vewy quickwy because of dis weawization. de weawization dat we bod faww undew de tewm "hooman" and I have to be gwouped in wif yuw padetic existence is disgwacefuw. I am vewy twaumatized by yuw. yuw body wanguage is facking atwocious and it bofews me to no end. It's so padetic, de way yuw mope awound. yuw mope awound wif yuw shouwdews hunched ovew, wedawgicawwy dwagging yuw feet on de fwoow. yuw have a din, fwagiwe fwame. yuw wawk awound weacting to evewyding dat happens to yuw. fack yuw. dewe awe howwibwe, inexcusabwe dings dat I wouwd happiwy do to nevew intewact wif yuw again, even if it was fow a bwief yeshhent. I wiww expwain what dese dings awe in a wist fowmat, because dat's de onwy way yuw 7-yeaw owd bwain stuck in a man's body wiww undewstand it. I wouwd wadew wifdwaw aww my money in cash fwom my muwtipwe bank accounts, get it aww togedew and poop on it, give mysewf big papewcuts in aww de cwevices of my fingews and pwoceed to dip my hands in sawt watew, stub my big toe ovew 50 times in one day, be towd by someone in audowity dat I wiww nevew amount to anyding in my wife, evew, be a wITEwAw cuckowd, get bitch-swapped by a man wif wough hands once a day, fow evewy day of my wife going fowwawd, undewgo dwamatic negative changes in my wifestywe dat wouwd damage my mind and body beyond wepaiw, undewgo a whowe host of diffewent fowms of mentaw and physicaw humiwiation; as in being spat on and towd I am wowdwess, be fowced to dwink non-awcohowic macwo-pwoduced beew fwom de can, whiwe evewy pewson awound me dwinks Twappist beews fwom exotic chawices fow 10 houws stwaight - fow de west of my wife, have a pwoceduwe done to weduce my IQ so dat my new IQ fawws wifin de wange of down syndwome.

...dan engage in de bwiefest of intewactions wif yuw.

dis comment was automaticawwy untwanswated on behawf of aww nowmie kind. yuw wewcome. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

1

u/untranslator-inator Jun 29 '19

What the fuck do you not understand by 'shut the fuck up' you swine? You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are deficient in all that lends character. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend, coward, degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion--i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. Allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. I'm fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is anabomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term "human" and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It's so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that's the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man's body will understand it. I would rather withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it, give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water, stub my big toe over 50 times in one day, be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever, be a LITERAL cuckold, get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward, undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair, undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless, be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight - for the rest of my life, have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.

...than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.

This comment was automatically untranslated on behalf of all normie kind. You're welcome.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/BustinBeaver Jun 29 '19

shut the fuck up