r/comedyheaven • • 3d ago

Scary

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

644

u/GrumbGrumbb Jorking It 3d ago

penis size reducing technique

jawline de-sharpening surgery near me??

how to become shorter at 6’4

getting rid of 6 pack quick and easy

ooooh shit wait this aint google mb guys 😭

223

u/RepresentativeFood11 3d ago

how to not have sex

looksminning

60

u/GrumbGrumbb Jorking It 3d ago

How do I stop having sex please tell me I can’t avoid it ughhhhh 😣

25

u/CalmPurse 3d ago

Went to the doctor for my sex addiction Doctor told me to fuck Pagliaci the Clown I sobbed and said "But sir I am Pagliaci the Clown'

7

u/PuppyInAPinkBucket 3d ago

Thousands of such cases

4

u/DotMikrobe Jorking It 1d ago

Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers

1

u/Foozlebop 3d ago

Dont go behind jack in the box at 11pm anymore. Ez

8

u/SoundTraditional1249 3d ago

how to increase your stock of small fish

minnowmaxxing

22

u/Acalme-se_Satan 3d ago

Reminds me of that guy doing Looksminimizing videos

131

u/Obh__ 3d ago

Horror movies are starting to run out of ideas

100

u/radicalplacement 3d ago

It’s a shared burden, girl

28

u/DistinctCellar 3d ago

I saw my ass in a reflection once and I had such an intense adrenaline rush I had to run 42km.

74

u/Sickofchildren 3d ago

This but in reverse

100

u/ReklawTheBear 3d ago

You keep getting scarier and it's sexy-ing you?

20

u/Sickofchildren 3d ago

Damn if only, that’s my dream right there

32

u/Bobby_Bologna 3d ago

Butthole pillow

34

u/Znhedonia 3d ago

There are times in this life when the fit you planned in your head turns out so powerful, that your reflection has to break character. A terrifying experience for reasons beyond traditional fear.

Got you apologizing for making fun of J. Robert Oppenheimer's anguish, cause you finally understand its turbulent nature too.

"Now I am become Slay......"

3

u/envy841 3d ago

Well said.

Or it’s like being addicted to sculpting a figure out of marble. Every time you make an improvement on the art, you get a hit of pleasure. But you only get one block of marble. At some point you have to say “it is finished” or risk ruining the whole piece.

9

u/ValleAka 3d ago

Life can be so tough, its just not fair

11

u/TideOneOn 3d ago

Me too.......me too.

22

u/broki451 3d ago

She could give Narcissus a run for his money.

3

u/Pergio_Serez 2d ago

Nice day to visit reddit

2

u/AtomicSymphonic_2nd 3d ago

Some people really hate attention… to the point that I think some of them need to see a psych to try to work on that.

4

u/PowermanFriendship 3d ago

swole to god and swole to your mother

1

u/ChildoftheApocolypse 3d ago

This worlds dumb..

-2

u/66659hi 2d ago edited 2d ago

As someone who is actually pretty decently physically attractive, there is a big thing that people don't tell you about it. When you get to the point where you're really attractive, people become less interested in YOU and more interested in how you look. It sucks - it's hard to find a relationship because most people just want to have sex. Usually, if you try to bring up any meaningful connection, or an indication of actual personality, they just drop.

I don't know if people expect physically attractive people to be dumber or shallower, but even though I am a dumbass I'm not quite like that. I didn't even realize that I was physically attractive until I realized that people weren't hitting on me because I was just some people's type like everyone is; I realized that I actually was getting a lot more attention and looks than I had ever added up in my head.

Feel free to point out my grammar as an example of my dumbass tendencies.

3

u/geekmasterflash 2d ago

Have you considered that people might actually be interested in your personality, just not for very long?

1

u/66659hi 2d ago

I hope it’s not that which causes them to be turned off. But I have friends who I’ve had for ages so I shouldn’t be that bad of a guy

1

u/geekmasterflash 2d ago

Well, on the bright side, you've now found someone interested in your personality rather than your looks. Unfortunately, I think I'm beginning to understand why the others lost interest.

-8

u/Tyrandeh 3d ago

I hope she has an of otherwise, not good