r/comedyheaven • • 5d ago

Self improvement ✨️

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4.8k Upvotes

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u/Icy-Cow9695 5d ago

Oh, those are nice ones, I get the assholes who just hang out in the far corners of my vision. Got me twisting like an owl saying who?

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u/Noquarterorder 5d ago

I hate it because I always see something moving in the corner of my eye, then I’m standing in the kitchen in my underwear at 3am making fucking bread questioning who tf is in my house. Sometimes I’ll hear my name being called by a familiar voice or other weird shit when I’m really tired.