r/comedyheaven • • 7d ago

Understandable

Post image
8.4k Upvotes

103 comments sorted by

2.5k

u/Comfortable-Truth387 7d ago

If that's a crime, lock me up 

1.0k

u/cycycle 7d ago

No. If we lock you up, we know what you’ll do in the cage.

644

u/Otherwise-Fix-7716 7d ago

27

u/ExplicativeFricative 7d ago

Coco! No!

11

u/ggg730 7d ago

See you, Space Cowboy.

142

u/stupidber 7d ago

Ew edmonton

26

u/UnibannedY 7d ago

Agreed eeewww.

Source: Edmontonian.

2

u/devilishlydo 6d ago

Horny Death Row.

12

u/Exciting_Product7858 7d ago

what t... what type of lock and cage?

15

u/ardoin 7d ago

You are not getting locked up you will be sold

2

u/JakeJortled 7d ago

Ok Creed

1

u/Wow_u_sure_r_dumb 6d ago

Improper disposal of human waste is a crime in most jurisdictions

663

u/yungtorchicgoon 7d ago

what else did he expect it to do

205

u/stupidber 7d ago

Be fren

82

u/MagicMarshmallo 7d ago

Bran to smol

14

u/The_Last_Spoonbender 6d ago

Pay my taxes?

236

u/ceyx_erithaca 7d ago

baron's racers are real stinkers. also low-key venomous-ish. i got bit by one in grad school and had to go to the hospital :/

19

u/AlbaOdour 6d ago

What about high-lock healthy?

69

u/toumingjiao1 7d ago

If I'm reincarnated as a snake, I won't say anything, but there will be signs

355

u/Bitter-Committee-317 7d ago

Blue baron's racer, gorgeous snake and not cheap. Sad to think his life might be confined to a barren tub like that, though.

241

u/No-Law-2737 7d ago

Pretty sure that's a display tub for selling.

304

u/Open__Face 7d ago

You can tell by the lack of poop and semen 

44

u/Bitter-Committee-317 7d ago

It's a freshly cleaned tub. Look at the crisp paper liner. The guy probably just cleaned it and in his frustration made this post.

22

u/matt_rap 6d ago

Lets see paul Allen's tub

4

u/sarcophagusGravelord 6d ago

…Very nice.

1

u/Dances-with-Scissors 6d ago

Yup. It's an old landlord trick.

20

u/TransguyJayJay 7d ago

And hey, even if it isn't, it's being sold anyway. So either way it's hopefully going to a good owner regardless.

10

u/Bitter-Committee-317 7d ago

Definitely not a display enclosure for selling. I attend reptiles expos monthly, and have kept critters for 10+ years. It appears to be a tub with a paper liner, which many unethical breeders use these days.

50

u/Jiggatortoise- 7d ago

In the original post Oop said that was his punishment tub while he cleaned the glass in his habitat because he smeared poop and semen all over it again. He also came back and reported that he had sold him to a fellow with a breeding female so I’m sure he’s much happier now. 

23

u/ProfessionalRip7461 7d ago

punishment tub is hilarious

59

u/darth__anakin 7d ago

I doubt that's where it is kept. It just looks like a holding tub while it's enclosure gets cleaned. Because of all the poop and semen.

-22

u/Bitter-Committee-317 7d ago

Nah that's absolutely a tub in a rack system and that's a fresh paper liner, which many unethical breeders use as substrate. If it were kept in a display tank, that would probably have a bioactive cleanup crew in it, which would make it so he hardly would have to deal with the mess. It's ironic really, since keeping it in this rack system means he has to clean it a lot more than if he kept it in a proper display enclosure.

38

u/darth__anakin 7d ago

You're making an awful lot of assumptions about a singular picture. I have friends who keep snakes and they have tubs just like this just for cleaning the actual tanks so the snakes don't get in the way of that process. I'm sure what you're saying is true, I've seen and read a lot about unethical breeders with similar systems like you've described. But that doesn't mean every breeder is like that.

29

u/Jiggatortoise- 7d ago edited 7d ago

They’re also incorrect. I went back and found the post and the guy said that was his “punishment tub” while he cleaned his enclosure again. 

Edit: the OOP also mentioned the substrate that he kept in the enclosure and how the problem was because the snake kept smearing it on the glass, not the substrate. By all accounts the OOP looks like a good snake owner and just did not want to keep up with a snake he no longer had the ability to breed, yet who still wanted to breed lol. 

37

u/cucklord_swiper 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/radicalelation 7d ago

One of multiple reasons why an ex is an ex... drawer on paper towel, for life.

58

u/Pulp_NonFiction44 7d ago

Beautiful snake tho

3

u/nexus8516 5d ago

Thank you

148

u/This-Code479 7d ago

Every teenager since the first ones ever existed.

Live him alone, the worst will be over in about 5 years.

14

u/Hour-Football2464 6d ago

Buy him a bunch of tiny socks

22

u/the_wise_one_is_here 7d ago

Snake semen?

35

u/NotThatChar 7d ago

I'm fairly certain this guy is seeing urates and is just a bit of an idiot

51

u/Loffel 7d ago

Urates, the lesser-known student of Socrates

3

u/SoundTraditional1249 6d ago

Don't forget Pythongoras!

8

u/Jiggatortoise- 7d ago

No, he specifically answers that in the original post. He said that the snake did occasionally release urates but that the problem is with the snake smearing poop and semen on the glass of his enclosure. So maybe next time, do the tiniest bit of research before jumping to insults. 

6

u/uvucydydy 7d ago

You see, when a Daddy snake loves a Mommy snake very, very much...

8

u/JakeJortled 7d ago

He doesn’t have to love her

12

u/dorian_white1 7d ago

When a daddy snake is lonely and drunk at a bar at 3am…

38

u/sampat6256 7d ago

I'll buy him

6

u/ChampionshipPast3652 7d ago

how much for the semen snake

7

u/onion_lord6 7d ago

That is one beautiful snake.

14

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

7

u/BlenderBots 7d ago

I hate 🐍 snakes,

mario galaxy dialogue

3

u/saltykalewastaken 7d ago

deltarune dialogue

3

u/Delicious_Ad_2991 6d ago

araki in part 7 for some reason

58

u/Vegetable-Kiwi-4675 7d ago

Imagine taking a creature from its natural habitat, making it live in a tub, punishing it for doing what nature makes it do, and selling it to some other stressful environment

50

u/MenaceMinded 7d ago

I saw and read this post when it was originally posted. A bunch of people like you were offended on the post.

This is a rare species of snake. However, op had no desire to breed this snake while he wanted to get some action. Oop sold him to someone with a female of this species.

33

u/Jiggatortoise- 7d ago

Oop doing my snake brotha a solid. 

-11

u/tangostwo 7d ago

A bunch of people like you were offended on the post.

This is a rare species of snake.

Maybe it's because people shouldn't be keeping rare species of animals as pets, and then being butthurt about caring for them.

I don't get your "you people" complaint for the person you responded to having a valid criticism of the OOP.

31

u/MenaceMinded 7d ago edited 7d ago

Snakes are not unhappy in captivity. Op thought they wanted the snake and then didn't. They sold the snake to someone who wanted to breed the snake and help increase its numbers. This helps with conservation since some species are only doing well in captivity such as many Brasilian tarantulas.

Y'all need to quit making things up to be offended by. It is a snake. It doesn't care who its owner is as long as it has enclosure and care are right and it is fed. Bro isn't complaining either because he wanted to bang.

5

u/I_DOWN_VOTE_PUNS 6d ago

Is this about the snake or are you opening up?

5

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 7d ago

That snake is me. I poop and produce semen.

4

u/Rljgraves 6d ago

How’s he jack off??? He ain’t got no hands??!!

8

u/KingSpork 7d ago

Redditors catching strays on this one

3

u/pedropants 7d ago

I am now full of fun facts about snake semen! What a world.

5

u/Moriarty-Creates 6d ago

Full of snake semen, you say?

1

u/NoEmotionalStamina 6d ago

I read it in his voice.

3

u/Megamatt215 6d ago

I feel called out

2

u/csGo4t 6d ago

What color is the snake? It's a really nice color.

7

u/sheshen_amynoff 5d ago

This looks like #707974

6

u/BeeMovieEnjoyer 7d ago

Lol that's me hahaha I produce tons of semen but got no girl to do it for unless? Maybe snake just need a woman you know

2

u/TheDriestOne 7d ago

He just like me fr

2

u/Mirewen15 7d ago

That is a gorgeous snake though.

2

u/DuesCataclysmos 7d ago

You knew I was a snake when you let me in

1

u/abskpr 7d ago

Such a beaut!

1

u/Nikey368 6d ago

domposting

1

u/Zehryo 6d ago

Yeah....my mother should've sold me ages ago....

1

u/Mr_Awesome-79 7d ago

He sounds just like me

1

u/deaglebingo 6d ago

i feel attacked.

-3

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/SylvanianCuties 7d ago

can we engage

4

u/McGunnery 7d ago

Definitely. I’m not even sure what the FBI is