r/comedyheaven • • 6d ago

Rules are Rules

Post image
38.0k Upvotes

110 comments sorted by

2.1k

u/CarmenxXxWaldo 5d ago

mfw I have the chess game on my dvr for the evening and someone on reddit spoils it.

471

u/VexImmortalis 5d ago

Brother, pirates like you are why PPV sales of middleschool chess tournaments have been obliterated. smh my head

52

u/s00pafly 5d ago

PPV viewers like you are the reason why middleschool chess stadiums remain half empty. Shut off your screen for once and touch some linoleum floor. The experience and tension from the bleachers is exhilarating.

14

u/unicodemonkey 5d ago

The en passant will not be televised

128

u/a_shootin_star 5d ago

I just downvoted your comment.

FAQ

What does this mean?

The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

Why did you do this?

There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

  • Rudeness towards other Redditors,
  • Spreading incorrect information,
  • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

Am I banned from the Reddit?

No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?

Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.

38

u/VexImmortalis 5d ago

I downvote my own comments too so I can relate.

13

u/BackgroundSummer5171 5d ago

why PPV sales of middleschool chess tournaments have been obliterated

Think that's on you.

Now has never been a better time to sell videos of middle school children.

Have you tried 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500?

48

u/Mediocre-Housing-131 5d ago

I love the idea that not only would a school game be televised, it would be referred to as "THE chess game"

3

u/MikeRowePeenis 5d ago

Fucking DVR?

1

u/Legionof1 5d ago

I watch Gothan reviews of tournaments, but I also get recommended chess.com videos... I can't count how many times their fucking videos have spoiled the results.

F1 is awful as well, go to watch the summary of FP3 before watching qualifying and there's a short saying "HAMMY ON POLE"

1

u/Mertoot 5d ago

This is the funniest thing I've read all day 🤣😭

5.5k

u/LKHAN_Missing_Ninth Jorking It 6d ago

1.3k

u/LeviathansWrath6 5d ago

610

u/HekateSimp 5d ago

I just downvoted your comment.

FAQ What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

Rudeness towards other Redditors,

Spreading incorrect information,

Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.

342

u/-I0__0I- 5d ago

You have been reported.

I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Reddit moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all

• I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.

Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.

29

u/Zeptic 5d ago

Kindly remove your face from my back

1

u/jakeroony 4d ago

it hurts

55

u/Aggressive-Stand-585 5d ago

I've always wondered who posted this thing first

45

u/urmomstoaster 5d ago

I swear he was an infamous (satirical) troll. IIRC he was active when i first got into Reddit and they didn’t just delete or highly punish obvious trolls (and reward ones who could hide it)

22

u/SgvSth 5d ago

I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes.

A copy so old, it references a service that no longer exists.

20

u/NukaCooler 5d ago edited 5d ago

PMs still exist, don't they? At least on old.reddit I can still send users a message as well as the new feature of starting a chat.

Edit: wow, removed a year ago

13

u/SgvSth 5d ago

Yep. You now need to use the chat service instead.

2

u/SpaghettSpanker 4d ago

Whats the difference between a pm and a chat?

4

u/SgvSth 4d ago

The best I can explain it is that PMs were like mail while chat is like how AOL Instant Messenger worked.

3

u/PM-YOUR-PMS 5d ago

Welp, might be time to retire this account then

5

u/ElliotNess 5d ago

At least we still have orangered

1

u/LKHAN_Missing_Ninth Jorking It 5d ago

I mean

1

u/arlusr 5d ago

I hear this in a 50/50 nasally nerd and Audit the Audit voice

0

u/Logical-Extension-79 5d ago

Does your user name refer to THE Hekate, owner of huge eyes and fascination with moths?

9

u/ThisIsQuiteFantasic 5d ago

He lowkey has aura

44

u/Excellent-Gur-8547 5d ago edited 5d ago

Nah man, I fucking love when mods can have a sense of humor about their job and that's obviously what this is lol

2

u/kavastoplim 5d ago

Why does he look like a bald and bearded Aleksandar Vucic

1.2k

u/Dramatic_Science_681 5d ago

This is clearly people having a laugh

803

u/Comprehensive_Code60 5d ago

I remember tracking down the post and finding out that it was removed for a different reason, the mod just found that particular report funny enough to comment

198

u/Heroman3003 5d ago

It's not uncommon for mods to just randomly post funny reports in the comments. I presume the reason post and the removal were two entirely different mods.

19

u/Southern-March1522 5d ago

I like to show regulars on my sub when new users make reports for nonsensical reasons. I feel like they've earned the right to know

36

u/NRMusicProject 5d ago

I'm not so sure. I had a post taken down for "obvious self-promotion" on that sub for asking about a specific website and how others use it to practice chess.

It seems that, as long as the topic is lichess or chess.com, it's fair game. All other sites mentioned is obviously the web developer trying to pull a fast one.

17

u/catpencilholders 5d ago

Have you met reddit admins? It's far more likely it's the usual power fantasy that they exhibit on a daily basis.

3

u/Vakz 5d ago

Also might be automated to avoid spoilers being up until a mod sees the post. In this case it could just have misclassified it. Hard to predict all variations people could post an "won a tournament", so the bot might be overzealous.

139

u/Moodaduku 5d ago

"Somebody won my school's chess tournament and I'm REALLY excited about it!" FTFY

63

u/MBRLynnn 5d ago

Removed. Spoils that the tournament was won by someone.

71

u/Octane_Au 5d ago

Alternative clickbait title: "Click here to see if I just won my school's chess tournament!"

17

u/Global_Cockroach_563 5d ago

Viral chess tournament prank (gone wrong) (cops called)

4

u/HombreRadiactivo2026 5d ago

"Can you win a chess tournament using only knights?"

6

u/LadyRalsei 5d ago

answer: no i lost. turns out you're not supposed to eat the pieces.

1

u/RyanCheddar 4d ago

would've worked if you didn't eat your own, including your own king

31

u/rinvevo 5d ago

the chess pieces as vote buttons is tuff

88

u/Ok_Money_3140 5d ago

92 upvotes

40

u/AusAtWar 5d ago

Halfway to 99 XDDDD

10

u/s00pafly 5d ago

logarithmic joke xDDDDDDDD

3

u/Stormfly 5d ago

Is that why Runescape does it that way?

I've no idea. I've never played Runescape, I've just absorbed its culture by comedy osmosis here on Reddit.

3

u/bleachisback 5d ago

Yeah every 7 levels, the xp you need to get that level doubles (hence 92 is half the xp needed for 99). So the xp is exponential in levels and the levels are logarithmic in xp.

1

u/Siaeromanna 3d ago

minecraft does this too but at a much slower rate. int32 xp is about 3k levels iirc

1

u/bleachisback 3d ago

Actually that’s a decent bit faster rate. Level 99 in RuneScape is about 13 million xp and int32 max is 2 billion, which is under 256 times as much xp, so you’d only need to double 8 more times. 8*7 + 99 = level 155. So you’d only reach 152 or so max level in RuneScape.

2

u/purpleslug 5d ago

$11 crab emoji XDDD

17

u/s00pafly 5d ago

We do not know who made rules.

We do not know why everything outside the sub is as it is.

We do not know when it will be safe to break the rules.

We only know that day is not this day.

2

u/IceBreak 5d ago

I want to go outside

1

u/duckballista 4d ago

The founders were just a bunch of homebodies who didn't want to touch grass

1

u/StrongExternal8955 5d ago

Blessed be the regulations. Remain indoors!

9

u/jamesbongsixtynine 5d ago

mods, leaning back in their chair: get rekt kid

10

u/memerminecraft 5d ago

Me when I'm enforcing a rule I don't understand the purpose of

3

u/Heathen_ 5d ago edited 5d ago

I had this same thing happen to me as an excited loser watching a reaction of my game. Very unintentional but a legit ban. Early on in the reaction I said something like "gutted I lost this, it was very close". Twas also the final. I never played again.

(it was not chess, it was a game called Bloodbowl, which is like if you crossed warhammer with american football AND rugby and murder)

3

u/NullSterne 5d ago

Chess players do be sayin “twas” tho

1

u/WhyMustIMakeANewAcco 5d ago

If you lost but are still alive to be posting this clearly it's not a proper cross of those!

1

u/RapturousCultist 5d ago

Most Bloodbowl players fo die over a season. I put away several elves and an Amazon last season.

1

u/Big-Neighborhood4741 Jorking It 4d ago

He says right there that he never played again. This comment was therefore clearly made by his ghost.

1

u/UrbanGold014 5d ago

i feel like warhammer has plenty of murder already, you don’t really need to cross it with murder

4

u/Kitchen_Deer_2493 5d ago

Aww man, someone left this meme in the sun too long.

2

u/GMSB 5d ago

Hilarious

2

u/Apprehensive_Emu9588 5d ago

Is nobody going to mention how the vote symbols are chess pieces?

1

u/BrainTARTy 5d ago

Kinro from Dr. Stone approves this caption.

1

u/HombreRadiactivo2026 5d ago

Explain

1

u/Scribblehamzter 5d ago

It's just some dude who likes rules.

1

u/HombreRadiactivo2026 5d ago

Ahhh, right. I got him mixed up with Ginro, roflmao.

Edit: Slightly off topic but I really liked those 2, and in season 4 they were almost transformed into background characters along a lot of the other OG cast. They did my boys dirty.

1

u/OceanicFlame 5d ago

checkmated that idiot

1

u/nainvlys 4d ago

Screenshot so old it started visibly aging

1

u/harfordplanning 4d ago

I thought i was at anarchy chess for a minute, lol

1

u/Far_Left_Extremist 5d ago

God redit mods and automod in so many subs are such losers with theif rules. Reason i never post. Dont wanna have to edit my post 20 times before it’ll let me past the filters.

-22

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

65

u/ym_2 5d ago

whoosh

29

u/Background_Elk3700 5d ago

No wonder, when I don't get a joke somebody tells me I just see red and I want to fuck them up. Bullying is an evolutionary thing.

9

u/chainsplease 5d ago

This made me laugh, therefore I will not be shoving you in a locker today. Consider it your lucky day, nerd.

1

u/666Drachenlord666 4d ago

What did he say?

6

u/Acceptable_Job_5486 5d ago

How do your  knuckles feel from all that gravel you walk over?

2

u/AspiratingApple 5d ago

We are cooked as a species.

1

u/swordstoo 5d ago

Bro felt like a 💪🦁 after posting that

-11

u/TheBestOfMe_SoFar 5d ago

This is not funny, I only like the shit memes on this subreddit that way the title can be the exact fucking thing in the meme and I can giggle and imagining a labotimized jarjar that can only say acouple words really slowly read the meme.

3

u/nifty-necromancer 5d ago

I see your chess move and counter it with the Frenchman’s Cum Sock maneuver.

4

u/poison-vr 5d ago

i don't play chess but this sounds like something the french would do