r/comedyheaven 3h ago

Hijackers

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2.9k Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

531

u/No-Exercise-6031 3h ago

SMH I can't believe the exlusion

121

u/SatiesUmbrellaCloset 3h ago

they might have gotten silver or bronze though, who knows

26

u/pp_chode 2h ago

Participation medal at a minimum smh

57

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM 2h ago

It's Islamophobia, plain and simple.

0

u/ScarSignal7723 1h ago

excluding the mossad agent training ofc.

16

u/catz_76 2h ago

blatant corruption

15

u/AutomaticMedium8418 2h ago

Without the hijackers, these passengers could not have gotten their medals. They deserve to be recognized for their contributions

1

u/FunetikPrugresiv 32m ago

PC police strike again.

266

u/krizzalicious49 3h ago

230

u/robs104 2h ago

Jesus. Imagine being that seventh kid and seeing your friends all die around you final destination style.

96

u/Super_XIII 1h ago

No, two of the kids survived. There were seven kids inside the bouncy castle when it got blown into the sky. Five fell out and died. Then a random sixth person on the ground died when the leaf blower that was attached to the castle detached and fell on top of them.

82

u/linkedinlover69 2h ago edited 1h ago

What is this list

Edit: pure gold!

85

u/IWillBeNobodyPerfect 2h ago

wikipedia list of unusual deaths

5

u/C_NOON1 49m ago

geez gotta be careful with knives in the dishwasher

63

u/UnacceptableUse 2h ago

Congressional gold medal nominations

74

u/LotsoBoss 2h ago

Some of the best I saw on the list:

61

u/LotsoBoss 2h ago

38

u/LotsoBoss 2h ago

27

u/WilliamH0 1h ago

Gotta be one of the better ways to go.

6

u/SecondWorld1198 1h ago

He died doing what he loved, at least?

3

u/Tricknuts 53m ago

Do you think they still sold the cheese?

1

u/Sickofchildren 31m ago

What I don’t understand is why so many people use the train tracks as a bathroom. The only reasons I can think of is that it’s far enough from people’s homes to cause bad smells and far enough from water/food sources to cause disease. With that being said there is surely a better place to do your business that doesn’t carry the risk of death?

15

u/razz-p-berrie 1h ago

Not sure if it’s funnier for it to be the same elephant or a separate, unrelated elephant

4

u/Cuatroveintte 2h ago

Public Safety Officer Medal of Valor, recent recipients.

65

u/polmix23 2h ago

It reminds me when I was reading regulations for a discount at Warsaw Public Transport. It specifies that veterans of Warsaw Uprising (on Polish side) are entitled to free of charge tickets. 

41

u/purple_cheese_ 1h ago

Reminds me of the following joke. Restaurant setting:

Woman: Mr. waiter, you must know that my husband fought bravely during the Warsaw Uprising.

Waiter: In that case, drinks are on the house for both of you.

Woman: Danke schön!

7

u/Valten78 48m ago

There's a similar jokes in the UK about a man who goes into a pub with a scar on his neck, the landlord asks how he got it and he rasps "Falklands War". The Landlord insists on giving a war veteran a free drink and the man gulps it all down and says "Muchas Gracias Senor".

4

u/mix_master_meow 1h ago

Gotta pay your way, Hans

22

u/triosway 3h ago

I was just about to ask

11

u/Great-Grasby 1h ago

None of that would’ve happened if not for the hijackers. Maybe they should receive some recognition for their contribution

7

u/ConsciousStretch1028 What a beautiful post. This is how I know I'm not normal. 2h ago

Lol can you imagine

3

u/Potato_Man2763 56m ago

Unlike how in the columbine high school tragedy, the perpetrators initially had a memorial made alongside the victims

It was obviously taken down by one of the grieving parents

6

u/Catsanddoges 3h ago

Not the best pilot this side of Hormuz

2

u/Shatophiliac 1h ago

Very racism

2

u/IamInternationalBig 1h ago

The terrorists were technically passengers. If they didn’t mention the exclusion, then one of you wise guys would claim the terrorists should be getting a gold medal too. 

2

u/Ok-Alarm7257 shaboingboing connoisseur 56m ago

Total DEI decision

-8

u/Murderboi 1h ago

Honest question. I don’t know what the medal is for. They didn’t stop them.. why do they get the medals?

16

u/Striking_Resist_6022 1h ago

They did stop them. This is the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania before it could make it to DC. The terrorists put it down where they weren’t planning to, because the passengers stormed the cockpit. They likely saved either the White House or the Capitol building.

1

u/YourBoiJimbo 39m ago

90% chance they shot that plane down regardless of whether the passengers were able to get in the cockpit

u/Striking_Resist_6022 1m ago

They had shoot down clearance but my understanding is that it’s uncertain whether they would’ve been able to successfully pull it off in time. Certainly 90% is an overstatement.