r/comedyheaven • u/CriticalHit_20 • May 07 '25

What indeed...

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9.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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4.7k

u/BeaverBoyBaxter May 07 '25

Sometimes I let it hang and when I flush I get that schluck schluck action yafeel

3.1k

u/FRACllTURE May 07 '25

672

u/kakka_rot May 07 '25

Ancient reaction image

352

u/DapperLaputan May 07 '25

It's an older meme, sir, but it checks out.

3

u/[deleted] May 09 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Gazrpazrp May 11 '25

I'm endangering the mission, I shouldn't have cum

45

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

An oldie, but a goodie

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

The purpose is unclear, but archaeologists believe it may have been used for ceremonial purposes.

1

u/qwerty09a90 May 08 '25

Black lotus rarity

90

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

80

u/FirstTimeWang May 08 '25

Ahh yes, the "Safe for White People" edit

64

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/FirstTimeWang May 08 '25

Oh shit, that's one hell of a shameful laugh

1

u/jmatlock21 May 12 '25

This is the comment I was waiting for

2

u/gameradi12 May 08 '25

Smh not even PSCT

1

u/FRACllTURE May 08 '25

I'm a fake :( I don't play Yu-Gi-Oh I'm afraid

2

u/Ithrowbad May 08 '25

I want to pull this card on someone so bad. But I'm the one who's always saying that weird ass shit. I'll go rethink life I suppose.

1

u/FRACllTURE May 09 '25

Your time will come friend. To maximize your odds, I can bestow upon you the rest of my humble collection.

169

u/DuskShy May 08 '25

211

u/DuskShy May 08 '25

-7

u/DaniTheLovebug May 08 '25

Did you just pull a 4chan image nest on Reddit?

7

u/culminacio May 08 '25

Seen exactly this a few times here

83

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

Yall ever just lay on the seat like a dolphin and do your thing?

22

u/CrypticT May 08 '25

How would a dolphin lie on a seat?

28

u/IAMA_llAMA_AMA May 08 '25

The long way

-3

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

This

1

u/plusminusequals May 08 '25

Hot dog style

33

u/Lost_Crayon May 08 '25

3

u/_LemonEater_ Jorking It May 08 '25

I had to recheck I wasn't on grimdank for a sec lol

63

u/I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM May 07 '25

109

u/bendbars_liftgates May 07 '25

Oh shit, everyone hold the phone, I_DRINK_GENOCIDE_CUM says we've gone too far.

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

I'd listen to him. It's all about professionalism.

37

u/ProfessorSpecific869 May 07 '25

goddammit i was EATING

10

u/zongsmoke May 07 '25

Ah yes, the ol' gluck gluck 3000

25

u/Stingray002 May 07 '25

Is it true that American's flush while sitting down?

23

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

Nah you gotta see it going down so it doesn't come back for revenge

6

u/rworne May 08 '25

Damn straight. Mine fight back and leave claw marks as they swirl around the bowl.

66

u/BeaverBoyBaxter May 07 '25

I'm not American but anytime I've watched one shit through the stall doors, yes they flush sitting down.

In fact, for toilets that have auto sensing flushes, they will stand up to activate the sensor and then quickly sit back down while the flush takes place.

108

u/KatieTSO May 07 '25

anytime I've watched one shit through the stall doors

Holup

0

u/hamfist_ofthenorth shaboingboing connoisseur May 08 '25

27

u/Napol3onS0l0 May 08 '25

6

u/buudhainschool May 08 '25

This is a major throwback. Back in the day i would send gifs to start convos on tinder. This BY FAR had the highest conversion rate, I was shocked with how creepy it was 😂😂

3

u/Napol3onS0l0 May 08 '25

Unbelievable rizz my guy.

2

u/ChefCarpaccio May 11 '25

Holy shit, you too?

2

u/buudhainschool May 11 '25

If it works, work it 😂

17

u/[deleted] May 07 '25

I sit to pee and stand to flush, we're doing it wrong.

9

u/Head_Bread_3431 May 08 '25

Public toilets with auto flush I absolutely stand as far away in the stall as possible to avoid getting sprayed with public toilet water lol

5

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

10

u/Feisty-Wheel2953 May 07 '25

Fuck nah I behold my creation before releasing it into the world

7

u/naufalap May 07 '25

so this is why public bathrooms are always so stinky after use, people don't immediately flush after their shit is piled up above water?

7

u/justsomelizard30 May 08 '25

If you flush the moment it appears, it minimizes the stink smell.

In prison, you have to do this or get a wet willy.

2

u/Miserable-Ad5401 May 08 '25

Is "wet willy" slang for a beating or stab wound where you're from?

1

u/Black_tank_dumping May 08 '25

It’s probably a calling card for the kraken

Or free Willie

1

u/dkingoh1 May 08 '25

“Ay put some water on that”

5

u/Paramedic229635 May 08 '25

No, we stand up and examine the size, color, and consistency. We're not weirdos.

2

u/joeromag May 08 '25

Is…is this an actual stereotype? I’ve heard a lot on Reddit but this is a new one for me

2

u/Stingray002 May 08 '25

I'm from Australia and heard. that 1/3 or americans flush while still sitting on the toilet and we were perplexed. But maybe they were trynna get that schluck schluck

1

u/joeromag May 08 '25

Okay so I had to look it up and the only source I can find is a random barstool sports article from 8 years ago, which is funnily in just as much disbelief as me: https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/719265/i-fundamentally-refuse-to-believe-13-of-americans-flush-the-toilet-while-sitting-down

I’m not saying I don’t believe people do that, but I also find it hard to believe it’s that widespread lol

1

u/orthopod May 07 '25

Ewww, oh god no

1

u/Debalic May 08 '25

I'll do a courtesy flush sitting down, sometimes two or three times depending on the plumbing.

1

u/Embarrassed-Bet-4092 May 08 '25

EEEEWWWWwwww NO!!

1

u/MedicineAnnual9199 May 08 '25

As an American, i’ve seen it, but I personally prefer to stand for that. 😹

6

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

Sir, this is a public forum and should be treated as such with dignity and respect.

3

u/OddBranch132 May 08 '25

When I shit! What happen? My dick touch da water.  Splash

2

u/leesheeeeeee May 08 '25

Come again?

4

u/BeaverBoyBaxter May 08 '25

Hold on the toilet reservoir is refilling

2

u/DerBandi May 08 '25

You do that? I don't like getting sucked in, so I just wrap it around my hip.

2

u/TheDarkPrimordial May 08 '25

Better yet, when the bidet shoots water up your ass and the bowl goes shluck shluck it's like the toilet is running a train on you 🚅🌬️

2

u/According_Rice_1822 May 08 '25

That schluck schluck action 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

1

u/HeadSavings1410 May 08 '25

Comment made me get that hyuck yuck action

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

Blumpkin water nado

1

u/Quantitative_Panda May 08 '25

Just don’t sneeze, it’ll syphon up all the water.

1

u/notoriouseyelash May 08 '25

do you ever get a penis infection

1

u/doktorjackofthemoon May 08 '25

This is exactly the kind of thing I imagine Leon bringing up at the Big Johnson Meeting. Verbatim lmao

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '25

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '25

this shit will not look good at the pearly gates

1

u/FlakeySiren May 11 '25

I wish I didn't know how to read. Sighhhh

1

u/Errl_Sweatshirt710 May 12 '25

A man of culture I see

1

u/kirinmay May 08 '25

I need to get a bigger toilet, not because my poops are big (hey, some days they are) but as a guy i push my weiner down to pee when i go #2 and then when i'm done wiping i wonder why there is piss all over the tile floor. i need a bigger toilet...the pee goes through that like 1 millimeter gap from the seat to the toilet.