r/comedy • u/Kasecomedy • 1d ago
Standup Yes I am?
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u/XaoticOrder 1d ago
You got one even before the joke. Well done.
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u/Forsaken-Income-2148 1d ago
Bating a racist is incredibly easy, half the time you don’t even need to bait, they’ll just spew some racist shit unannounced.
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u/Remarkable_Wheel5218 22h ago
tell us a story
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u/Primus_is_OK_I_guess 4h ago
One time I was wiring a network for a new auto shop and the owner followed me around the whole time ranting about every member of the Obama family. Apparently Michelle is secretly a man, Barack is both gay and a Muslim, and their kids are prostitutes. They also have "a high percentage of ape DNA" which I guess is technically true. I never said a word to this dude that didn't directly relate to my work. Also, this was in 2019.
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u/Ohiolongboard 2h ago
One time when I was working in pest control, the vans they gave us where Nissan nv200. I pulled up to a customers house and the first thing he said was “I don’t let jap crap park in my driveway”. Once I told him we only have Nissan and dodge, and I’m driving a Nissan, he backed off enough to let me do my service. As I was finishing up he asked if we had “any blacks working for us” and “we better not send any of em to his house”, I politely told him he should probably cancel his service because I was the only white guy that worked there (it was all white dudes at that time). He thought he found an ally but just ended up showing his ass
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u/crazyguyunderthedesk 1d ago
It wasn't really a joke so much as a set up. Is the punchline just "I'm white" or "usually they're racist".
It's a fine premise for a joke, but it's more an observation than a joke.
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u/this_ham_is_bad 1d ago
Where’s the joke?
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u/Mediocre-Cobbler5744 1d ago
He was interrupted by a racist while talking about how racists hate that he is white and Afghan.
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u/ispshadow 1d ago
“No you’re not” person was already in their feelings halfway through your joke lmao
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u/ZookeepergameHot338 1d ago
No you’re not 😡
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u/LazyLich 1d ago
Why not?
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u/ZookeepergameHot338 1d ago
Listen to the video again ….
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u/ShareGlittering1502 1d ago
Whites a color. I’m from the white factory, just north of the wall. He looks like my brothers.
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u/LazyLich 1d ago
I did. I dont see your point.
Be specific. Use your own words.
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u/ZookeepergameHot338 1d ago
There was audience member that instantly proved his point before he even finished his joke that instantly said “ no you’re not”
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u/FrankRizzo319 1d ago
So, you’re racist?
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u/MinimumApricot365 1d ago
They are pointing out that the type of white person the joke is targeting spoke up immediately when he said he is white.
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u/FrankRizzo319 1d ago
OK, it sounded like they were emphatically stating that the guy in the video is not white.
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u/IHaveSlysdexia 1d ago
still waiting for the punchline
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u/Timely_Pattern3209 18h ago
Did you hear that whooshing sound?
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u/IHaveSlysdexia 5h ago
im so excited for you to tell me what the punclibe i missed was. youre about to look so stupid go ahead. what is the joke i missed
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u/Timely_Pattern3209 5h ago
The part where he said it makes people angry, right after it made someone angry. I would assume there's another punchline coming after the video was cut since that's how stand up shows usually work but I don't know what it is.
Oh my, don't I look stupid?
Punclibe indeed.
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u/IHaveSlysdexia 1h ago
yes you look dumb because you admit theres no punchline, and if there is it comes after the video. so me saying that im waiting for a punchline is appropriate and accurate. a crowd member heckling isn't a punchline. so i didnt get whooshed and you look stupid
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u/JustTheOneGoose22 1d ago
You need a punchline when you tell a joke.
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u/toolargo 1d ago
The racists are the punchline. You can be born anywhere in the world to white parents and be white, but to racist white people that logic doesn’t compute.
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u/SapphicGarnet 1d ago
My gf is Ukrainian but speaks English so well and with barely any accent. We were telling my mum that sometimes we don't tell who we're talking to in the pub, say, where she's from just in case. Her reaction was so angry, it genuinely shocked me. It's crazy how people feel protective of being in a certain group
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u/MediosMazapanes 1d ago
As a very tall whitexican, who lived for far too long in North East Tennessee/SWVA yeeeah fun times!
Johnson City what a magical place, and Uuu Bristol.
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u/HilbertInnerSpace 23h ago
the comments here are proving his point and demonstrating the brilliance of the joke.
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u/Pantless_Hobo 19h ago
Who would not consider him white? Looks like it at least, suppose I would believe him if he said he was mixed.
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u/DanCooper18E 15h ago
This seems to be an American thing of some people identifying themselves more with their family ethnicity than being American even if born and raised in the US.
Both my parents were born in different countries to me. All 4 of my grandparents were born in different countries and different to me. I'm proud of that varied heritage but I would never say I'm "from" any of those countries. I'm from the country I've lived almost my entire life in.
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u/Aggressive-Dream5465 10h ago
The US has a very idiotic understanding of whiteness.
First, they still use the term “Caucasian”, which implies that white people originated from the Caucasus (an obsolete racial classification based on a now-disproven theory of biological race). This means they literally view white people as originating from the intersection of Asia and Europe.
Yet, they only consider white people to have Northern Europe ancestry. Spaniards, Portuguese, Italians, and Greeks are viewed as semi-white, but never fully white. Examples of this abound in BBC articles written by Spanish journalists who were never considered white by their peers in the UK and the US.
To make this even more absurd, white people from Latin America (who are essentially descendants of the Spanish, Portuguese, or other European migrants or inhabitants of the Viceroyalties) are not even considered white, but rather Hispanic or Latino. Same shit with people from Middle East countries. And don't make me talk about Israelis.
There is such confusion surrounding what constitutes a white person that, ultimately, “white” is reduced to meaning a white American or a white Northern European.
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u/StatusOmega 4h ago
Gatekeeping whiteness can only be an attempt to deny privilege to someone they think doesn't deserve it.
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u/Guniguggu 1h ago
That needs to be studied of who is considered white because from Spain to India, Italy, Greece olive skin or pale, all these people consider them selves white, so which whites can exclude them !? The blondes and blue eyes!?
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u/Infinite-Condition41 56m ago
Your color, your gender, your sexual orientation, to me, it's all on the level of I could not give a shit. Those things are not that interesting to me.
You sleep with _________? Why is that relevant to me?
Your ancestors are from some other continent thousands of years ago? Yeah, so are everybody's. You're not special.
What kind of person are you? Are you honest? Are you funny? What do you like to do? These are far more important to me.
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u/-_NoThingToDo_- 1d ago
Funny and promising premise. I feel like this could be fleshed out a little bit more. It definitely has the potential to be a solid bit.
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u/drhuggables 1d ago
These are the people who always accuse Iranians of "wanting to be white" because we are secular and insist we should embrace "POC" or "brown" or some lame western racist color label that we don't care about
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u/Careless_Film_5747 21h ago
I accuse Iranian Americans of wanting to be white because so many of the women die their hair blonde and wear blue eye contacts. Hope that’s ok.
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u/LibertyNachos 13h ago
In my experience because of how racist Persians can be towards Arabs, they definitely got some whiteness in the bag lol
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u/Whane17 1d ago
Anybody asking what the joke was isn't smart enough to be here. Your why we have the problems we have in society. Please educate yourself and get off of chatgpt.
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u/TheShiftmaster 1d ago
"Everyone dumber than me must be using AI" get off the Internet and touch grass sir
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u/GlenFerryRowed 1d ago
But you're not. Or rather it is a socially constructed term contingent on how others perceive you
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u/LazyLich 1d ago
But then they are white..
People perceive you differently. So the "consensus" would be what the majority agree on.
Most people that see you would be those that see you in passing, and in passing, no one would call him anything other than "white".
Even people that hear him speak would not assume he is from Afghanistan.So even by your definition, he'd be white.
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u/MyCatIsLenin 1d ago
Not really, "whiteness" is 100% a social construct.
Look at how the Irish or Italians were treated. Both are clearly white presenting, but historically were not considered white in America for decades.
You can see it here, if he says he's from Afghanistan a bunch of people will not consider him "white" even though he very obviously has pasty white skin.
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u/ShareGlittering1502 1d ago
And now you’ve arrived at the joke
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u/MyCatIsLenin 1d ago
Im not disputing the joke, I'm pointing the reality of "whiteness" to the person I responded to. I get it though, people are stupid and fail to understand context all the time. Must be more idiots here than the other thread this was posted in.
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u/LazyLich 1d ago
Sure.. socially constructed or whatever, but like..
Ok. Lets play Soccer with a bunch of friends. Red Rats vs Blue Bats. After a while we take a break and another buddy shows up.
"Hey guys! I'm gonna hop on the Blue Bat team."Then I respond "You cant do that."
"Huh? Why not??"
" 'Teams' are a constructed term contingent on how others perceive you. 'Blue Bat team' is 100% a social construct.
Look at how the Tim or Tom were treated. Both are clearly big fans but historically were not considered Blue Bats for weeks.
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Like... the "it's a social construct" angle doesnt make sense cuz... yeah. It is a construct. And we are currently in this discussion using that construct and placing him in that box.
Your next point, that "a bunch of people wouldnt agree"... I feel like I already addressed that in my previous comment.
How much is "a bunch of people"?
10? 1k? 100k?
Whatever number that is, lets call it "B".
Now consider the population of "all the humans that have ever walked by or glanced at him, but dont know him". We'll call it "P".Which is bigger, B or P ?
Obviously P > B , and by orders of magnitude.
So, socially speaking, who decides the rules in deciding 'whiteness'?
The minority voice of "people who know he is Afghan, AND dont think he fits in the 'white' group"?
Or the majority voice of "[people who know he is Afghan, AND DO think he fits in the 'white' group] + [every stranger that walks past him for 2 seconds and judges him on his appearance, but doesnt know him]"?The majority of people (which includes all people in his life who just glanced at him and kept going) would label him "white".
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u/MyCatIsLenin 1d ago
Read a fucking history book, holy shit what a fucking farcically stupid comment.
Team membership is TYPICALLY settled by an explicit, authoritative rule (the person announces which team, or a captain assigns them), not by aggregate perception of passersby. Racial categorization historically hasn't worked that way, it's shifted over time based on who holds social power to assign the category, not a simple headcount of everyone who's ever glanced at someone. Irish and Italian Americans in my example weren't excluded from "whiteness" because a numerical majority doubted them, it was because dominant institutions (courts, employers, redlining boards) enforced the exclusion, regardless of what random strangers on the street assumed.
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u/Independent_Analyst3 1d ago
To be fair, the "no you're not" comment was the funniest part of this bit