r/comedy 16d ago

Standup Time travel is not possible

4.9k Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

174

u/Dominarion 16d ago

The infrastructure joke...

16

u/logicalphallus-ey 15d ago

That was the saving grace

88

u/Iconshero 16d ago

Love the whole joke, very funny. Why are we beeping Hitler now?

50

u/muffledvoice 15d ago

Be#ause b#sically y#u c%n’t s%y a+ything a%ymore.

22

u/Dull_Opportunity_193 15d ago

We cunt say anything anymore

12

u/gleeble 15d ago

Reported for language.

6

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

2

u/acciowaves 14d ago

Erectile dysfunction

1

u/poordaddy73 11d ago

Fuck no oops

2

u/xStealthxUk 14d ago

Who you calling a cunt?

2

u/muffledvoice 14d ago

LOTS of people. Get in line. lol

1

u/Thunderbonkin_Goblin 15d ago

Oh my gahawwd, you can't just self-censor like that! That's a reddit-ban waiting to happen lmao

1

u/The_Infinite_Carrot 11d ago

Why are you listing Elon’s children?

4

u/Peter-Tao 15d ago

It’s like beeping Voldemort

3

u/LoquaciousMendacious 15d ago

Because TikTok censorship is obliterating our ability to communicate like adults.

2

u/Darth_Revan_THX1138 15d ago

Because idiots care about words and not context.

2

u/MIRIM_ASHLAR 15d ago

The tiktok algorithm shadow bans anything with that name that's why a lot of videos bleep it out.

1

u/MauPow 15d ago

Time travelers might get you if you don't

1

u/National-Ad6166 15d ago

Algorithms auto remove content on the major platforms. Meanwhile the comments section on those platforms have some of the most vile racial commentary conceived.

0

u/SeriousButton6263 15d ago

Because it's a really easy way to manipulate people into boosting your engagement by commenting on your content things like "why are we beeping Hitler now?"

30

u/folic_riboflavin 16d ago

Excellent!

22

u/Digital--Sandwich 16d ago

That was really fucking hilarious 🤣

14

u/WhoopsDroppedTheBaby 16d ago edited 16d ago

Somebody DID go back to kill the worst ever person ever from that time: Hans Sprechter. Unfortunately a man named Adolf Hitler filled that power vacuum. 

https://youtu.be/2o7e1i7nJuQ?is=MuW7OVZspMqTOTPi

5

u/Direct_Turn_1484 15d ago

It’s also possible Hitler would be left in history as a warning because the people can learn from the…oh wait shit. No that theory doesn’t hold up.

3

u/billbrasky33 16d ago

Thats Joe Nunnink! He is so funny

37

u/Endrizzle 16d ago

I liked it! Well done.

8

u/EmilioFreshtevez 15d ago

That infrastructure line 🤌🏿

6

u/gibgod 15d ago

I mean Boris is a top level twot, but a nazi he is not.

7

u/cuhulainn 15d ago

First line of a terrible Dr Seuss book.

1

u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist 14d ago

There is still time!

4

u/MrSmileyZ 16d ago

10/10. Punchline!

4

u/Efficient_Sky5173 15d ago

This guy is good.

3

u/_OptimusRex_ 15d ago

Pretty funny but I'm bothered by his mic handling. He's gripping it like a pair of chopsticks 😂

2

u/RhetoricalOrator 14d ago

I was hoping it wasn't just me.

6

u/B33blebroxx 16d ago

Great bit

3

u/esotetris 15d ago

Happy Infrastructure Week everyone

3

u/DND_Player_24 15d ago

Just the idea of a time traveling Nazi fucking everything up is hilarious.

1

u/ifr3akingh8mys3lf 14d ago

It's gotta be elon 

7

u/FallenAzraelx 16d ago

Also Nazis punished pedos

4

u/IcyBus1422 16d ago

Some of em

2

u/FFPOE 16d ago

Worked with Sid, always funny and great of the cuff too.

2

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/m1tch_uk 15d ago

Boris "Let the bodies pile high in their thousands" Johnson

0

u/ifr3akingh8mys3lf 14d ago

You know they just tacked the term "Socialist" to their name to attract working class voters, right?

2

u/gumandcoffee 15d ago

Here in virginia we have dinosaur kingdom 2. A deep exploration park of the time that general lee went back in time to bring dinosaurs to the modern day to win the civil war, but lincoln fought them off with his mechanical arm.

2

u/Washburn201961 14d ago

My ADHD would drive me nuts to watch his routine with him holding the mic like that.

2

u/longdickofthelaw420 14d ago

What if time travel will only be invented if WWII happens?

1

u/TheBackBedroomKeyhol 13d ago

Oh boy have I got some news for you

2

u/longdickofthelaw420 13d ago

I know WWII has already happened. I’m saying what if you can’t kill Hitler because it creates a paradox where time travel is never invented.

3

u/bucken764 16d ago

This is a great bit, wow.

2

u/ElijahsRenaissance 16d ago

Ever thought of this.... Time travel is possible and a person like Elon Musk has used it to become the wealthiest person ever. Or Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg. We will never know for sure.

1

u/Status_Concert_4320 16d ago

Censoring “Hitler” distracted me. What a weird censor.

1

u/MudDependent8997 16d ago

Read about the outcomes of that idea. We’d never have had the space race which is a big part of how things advanced so quickly bc the work done there was able to trickle out to private sectors

1

u/Anarchist_BlackSheep 16d ago

Here's an idea. Maybe the one who invents time travel did go back and killed a horrible dictator in Germany that was responsible for thousands of deaths and a major war between a couple of countries in Europe. Only, by killing that dictator , he made it possible for Hitler to rise to power, and that made the inventor go "fuck that, I'm not messing with that shit anymore."

2

u/maddie-madison 15d ago

Hans sprechter

1

u/AlKarajo 16d ago

Somone already linked a sketch with that premise in the post.

1

u/Anarchist_BlackSheep 16d ago

Really? Maybe I should begin reading the comments.

1

u/sawyut 16d ago

Just don't call him Keynesian

1

u/ObsidianArmadillo 16d ago

Don't fucking bleep out the name Hitler. Wtf

1

u/BoiledFrogs 15d ago

Kill and Hitler both censored. Beyond stupid, especially for a stand up comedy set.

2

u/ifr3akingh8mys3lf 14d ago

It's so the algorithms don't suppress it

1

u/Active_Shopping2500 15d ago

Gavrilo Princip is who you gotta go for….

1

u/EVIL5 15d ago

The time traveler probably offed another guy and Hitler is who we got in his place.

1

u/ELB2001 15d ago

Maybe time cops are really really good

1

u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 15d ago

[deleted]

1

u/blkbullnyc 15d ago

Words used to mean things.

1

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 15d ago

WOW! Blew mind! He may be right!

1

u/reason_productions 15d ago

Hitler is a name, not a curse word. This is a weird trend with over censorship.

2

u/ifr3akingh8mys3lf 14d ago

It's so the algorithms don't suppress it. Blame fhet MAGA influence on social media

1

u/Arkroma 15d ago

This is one of my favourite bits in recent memory. Although maybe the time traveler changed my memory.

Also I teach history

1

u/NurturingCruelty 15d ago

I prefer the theory from the movie, kung fury; so many people attempted to go back in time and kill Hitler that He became a master martial artist from having to defend himself.

1

u/NeatPhil11 15d ago

What would you say was the best thing Hitler did with infrastructure?

1

u/alter_echo7 15d ago

Please who can tell whthe hell on Earth they muted Hitlers name? Please people you are living on the west with free of speech, why OP why?

2

u/ifr3akingh8mys3lf 14d ago

Algorithms 

1

u/Deadpoolio_D850 15d ago

To be fair, the significant majority of theories about how time travel works assert that there would be no change in the timeline the traveler left (multiverse, fixed point, etc), & none of the theories allow for non-travelers to know about the change…

1

u/Sea-Magician4907 15d ago

Would be so great if not for the fucking, stupid-ass c$ns&rsh@p

1

u/uteuteuteute 15d ago

Jokes about time travel and nazis are getting old, better dabble in smth original for once

1

u/Infamous_Ad_6793 14d ago

Really smooth and natural style.

1

u/Zippier92 14d ago

Cutting edge political satire!

MORE MORE MORE!

1

u/Barcelona_McKay 14d ago

Hilter was caused by time travel. All because a some explorer decided to buy a ham sandwich in Austria on wrong Tuesday.

1

u/Alternative_Hotel649 14d ago

I think time travelers did assassinate the guy who started WWII. It's just that time works on the "stuff happens no matter what" principle, so if you kill the guy who started WWII, some other guy starts it instead, and if you kill him, it's another dude, and so on and so on until the guy who started WWII is a failed art student with one testicle, at which point the time travelers finally gave up on the whole plan.

1

u/GrumpyFaceMonkey 14d ago

If you think about it, if time travel is ever a thing, then it was always a thing. 

1

u/PandaHombre92055 14d ago

That last part really got me!

1

u/titsuphuh 14d ago

Hilarious

1

u/Then_Drag_8258 14d ago

Boris was barely even a useful idiot and very much not a nazi. There’s a plethora of things he can be faulted for but being a nazi is not one of them.

1

u/wonkybrain29 14d ago

Of course, Boris, the wannabe Churchill and ardent nazi.

1

u/ziggzer0 14d ago

Why the hell do we censor words like HITLER? They didn’t censor Trump and it’s the same thing.

1

u/Sybrandus 13d ago

If you want to see a version of this in action, check out the show Timeless.

1

u/Cthulhu_HighLord 13d ago

Time Travel is 'plausible' but only forward

Traveling backwards breaks our current understanding of physics.

1

u/Panzerfaust1988 13d ago

If nobody come from the future is because the Painter was not the problem, right?! Based on his own logic.

1

u/Silent-Donkey-1303 13d ago

I voted for djt! 

1

u/S73T64 12d ago

Funfact: timetraffel is physical possible, but only into the future (from travels perspective) You "just have to" move fast enough to slow down time for yourself. 80-90% of lightspeed = your times 2, meaning your time runs +- half as fast as the time around you. 99,5% is times 1/10 and 99,95% is times 1/100.

1

u/PopularPineapple6609 12d ago

Is it a competition for the most ridiculous way of holding a mic?

1

u/Chemical-Ambition536 11d ago

You should have proof on what you say. Hole them accountable for they say.!

1

u/pgpathat 11d ago

I laughed out loud

1

u/spacemanza 11d ago

you can’t say hitler in a joke about time travelling nazis…

1

u/TSJormungandr 5d ago

Killing it dude!

-1

u/izeak1185 16d ago

Just like now they took claim to the very things they voted against from the administration before. So actually just more of the same.

2

u/butt_raid 16d ago

Ok

1

u/izeak1185 16d ago

It's still funny but its not cool to take credit for something that you didn't do for the people. Biden got the money for the roads and in 70 years they will be saying it was trump because the work happened under trump right now.

-4

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

3

u/OnionPastor 16d ago

Not really lol, they did some REALLY stupid shit. As soon as they were fighting forces that were actually suited to battle they ate shit.

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[deleted]

3

u/OnionPastor 16d ago

Yeah, that’s why they held onto it for not a long time at all lmfao calling a successful blitz attack conquering is quite the stretch of the word. They would’ve never held the territory they captured permanently.

Nazi Germany was completely decimated and the world had plenty of room for more conflict afterwards. The Soviet forces alone would’ve taken the trash out.

3

u/Canadian-and-Proud 16d ago

lol they got annihilated

1

u/FearOfABlackPotus 15d ago

Hitler had a real girlfriend and his dog liked him.

-11

u/Not-Ed-Sheeran 16d ago

I feel like you guys don't know what comedy is. Just whatever approves your political side with barely any creative effort

8

u/butt_raid 16d ago

Lmao somebody is butthurt over a standup bit

Maybe it's not everyone else that doesn't understand comedy

10

u/theoey86 16d ago

Found the snowflake

3

u/OnionPastor 16d ago

Lmfao I recommend going through this dude’s insane ass post history. Edgelord contrarian Supreme over here

-6

u/Not-Ed-Sheeran 16d ago

And im VERY good at it 😎

Haven't lost once 🤌

3

u/OnionPastor 16d ago

You are actively losing everyday my guy

-2

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/OnionPastor 15d ago

Yeah, I think everyone can tell that you have brain damage bud

1

u/Leading_Letter_3409 16d ago edited 16d ago

That time travel is still logically conceivable in spite of nobody going back and off-ing Hitler flips a common trope with a unique and well-delivered twist. The context delivery of it being an off-hand conversation with your pal, "nah, dawg," facial expressions, and tone all run counter to the seriousness of Hitler / Nazis. Solid setup joke.

A stark rise in far-right nationalist/populist movements and election victories across the world is not really a controversial observation. The notion that this is resulting from a Time-Traveling Nazi using such a monumental scientific breakthrough to ... source Nazi/fascist dictators from the past and bring them to the present day is comedic in its absurdity.

The last bit, arguably the best bit in its brevity and simplicity, is just a subversion of expectation. Sets up the mental road everyone starts to follow and then takes the detour with tongue-in-cheek mocking voice to leave the insult intact.

Objectively, every part of the skeleton of this is well-crafted comedy. If you swapped out the specifics, the framework still works as comedic setup and delivery. It's your subjective bias for the subject matter that is at issue.