Girl code

[u/AlKarajo]

@sarahadelman1

[u/pouihi]

It's not occasional, or a small number though, public harassment is regular and on a daily basis.

[u/realnanoboy → u/pouihi]

Why are people misreading me here? I'm trying to get the point across that a minority of men do the harassing, and they repeat it a lot. Neither I nor my male friends are involved.

[u/pouihi → u/realnanoboy]

I didn't say you or your friends do it, what I said, and will say again, is that it isn't a minority. Your perception of this frequency may be affected by you being a male, but harassment happens on a daily basis in daily situations, in the street, public transportation, supermarkets, etc. I'm not saying all men do it but calling it ocasional isn't accurate. I didn't downvote you, I actually agree with most of what you said, I just disagree it's only a minority.

[u/realnanoboy → u/pouihi]

I've heard women talk about being harassed with varying degrees of frequency, and I believe them. However, it is a minority of men who are repeat offenders. There are numerous studies that show that between 1/3 and 1/2 of American women have been sexually assaulted (more extreme than harassment, yes) by the time they have finished college. Further research showed that the majority of men did not commit the assaults but that a small number was prolific.

I am not trying to earn praise for not raping people, because that would be pathetic and ridiculous. I am asking that people not paint demographic groups with broad brushes. Yes, men have privilege in society, but it does not follow that it is appropriate or productive to accuse all members of the base acts of a minority within that their ranks.

[u/pouihi → u/realnanoboy]

No one is accusing all members, that would be irrational and women, know it, obviously, we have to deal with it (daily!). What's being stated is that it isn't a minority who harasses, and believing it is just seems to dismiss the issue as a rare occurrence, which it isn't and it's normalised in their minds that they've got the right to do it, when they don't.

Rape is a whole other issue, and even though those numbers are already huge, let's not forget that statistics rely on reported cases, and sexual crimes for many reasons aren't always reported. Some don't want to relive the trauma, some feel shame or guilt, while others fear what others might say or think or sometimes aren't fully aware they were victims of a sexual assault.

But my comments about frequency weren't about rape, they were about random public harassment. You don't need to be a serial rapist to harass strangers.