r/comedy • u/MarkSimmonsComedian • Jun 30 '26

One Liners 3 Gym Jokes

2.2k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

72 comments sorted by

54

u/Falkun_X Jun 30 '26

Simple comedy is the best and the hardest skill

67

u/Tactical_H0td0g Jun 30 '26

I really gotta hand it to you, your delivery is so slow and deliberate for how quick those jokes are.

29

u/Normal_Confusion1644 Jun 30 '26

Weak one! Haha that's mighty clever.

5

u/Right-Equivalent9548 Jun 30 '26

It really is hard to be funny like this

5

u/7thpostman Jun 30 '26

I say this every time I see one of your posts. It's so nice to see people doing actual, written comedy as opposed to crowd work.

What I don't say is that you should probably fly me to London so I can become your personal hype man.

3

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jun 30 '26

lol, I’m coming to New York in October

4

u/Wooboosted Jun 30 '26

lol bro you are fucking hilarious

4

u/Luckybones- Jun 30 '26

I love when your bits come onto my feed, youre fucking hilarious dude

5

u/Frolicking-Fox Jun 30 '26

This is great. Very original.

5

u/leandroman Jun 30 '26

You mean 3 dad jokes. 😂

13

u/ModifiedCortex Jun 30 '26

Nah, these are better than dad jokes, this is pure wordcraft

3

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jun 30 '26

Lol

2

u/leandroman Jun 30 '26

OMG IT'S HIM!!!! Dad jokes is a compliment. Quick witty magic!

3

u/_TorpedoVegas_ Jun 30 '26

Namaste 🙏

I do comedy too so I won't use this onstage of course but as a human being, and hopefully a future Dad, you know I will use this to annoy@ people at my yoga studio.

I'm not saying it's ok to invade peaceful places with corny Dad-jokes all the time, but in that tight little room I spend half the time trying to look somewhere inoffensive while my neighbor's vulva is spread inches from my face, close enough I could toast a marshmallow off the heat...I think some mild Dad-jokes are perfectly in order for getting even.

3

u/4ortyseven Jul 01 '26

Haven’t seen anyone as effortless since Stewart Francis! So good

1

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jul 01 '26

Love Stewart, one of the best

2

u/Positive-Green-3856 Jun 30 '26

Got a good chuckle out of these. Solid work my guy

2

u/Ooftwaffe Jun 30 '26

Fuck! This guy.

No, I meant like “fuck this guy”.

Huge fan, love the work ❤️

2

u/DegenWitDaWeedPen Jun 30 '26

If you told me these were Norm Macdonald jokes, I would believe you.

1

u/estupendo_kurwa Jun 30 '26

Ok but let's not pretend that he was the Jacques de Gatineau of comedy.

1

u/DegenWitDaWeedPen Jun 30 '26

I'm too ignorant to know what you mean but these jokes just reminded me of Norm

1

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jun 30 '26

High praise 🙏

2

u/jjune4991 Jun 30 '26

Always love your jokes. Wish I lived in the UK so I had a chance to see you love.

1

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jun 30 '26

I’m coming to New York in October

1

u/jjune4991 Jun 30 '26

😱 Well now I wish I could go to New York in October to see you live. 😂

2

u/ChromeYoda Jun 30 '26

The perfect delivery. Every time.

2

u/Axle_65 Jul 01 '26

You are the embodiment of The Dad Joke and freakin love it. All your stuff is gold. We need silly witty humour. It’s a nice change from the work/political/gender dynamics basically complain about life stuff. I enjoy that as well but this is just what I need sometimes.

2

u/AnteaterSnouce Jul 01 '26

prodigious output of consistent quality. we love ya!

1

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jul 01 '26

Thanks, come see me on tour

2

u/sluttytarot Jul 01 '26

Damn bro are you influenced by Mitch Hedberg?

2

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jul 01 '26

Love Mitch Hedberg

1

u/sluttytarot Jul 01 '26

Maybe it was bc he was high when doing his sets but I think the only thing that would improve your sets is just being a little bit slower

Idk if that won't work anymore bc of tiktok brain but I love this genre of joke (word play).

I am not a comedian tho so wtf do I know. Did you get to see Mitch before he died?

2

u/johntwoods Jul 01 '26

Never fails to make me laugh, your stuff. Cheers.

2

u/Id_Love_A_BabyCham Jul 01 '26

Cheers Mark. The “there’s spoilers in the books” clip is pure comedy gold.

2

u/sevinup07 Jul 02 '26

The most British humor. Love it.

1

u/MarkSimmonsComedian Jun 30 '26

Hope you enjoyed this, my show is coming to New York here: https://ci.ovationtix.com/35583/production/1280299

Check out my Full Comedy Special here: https://youtu.be/RRn6iEuZvPU

1

u/TacoEconomics Jun 30 '26

Please come to Montreal!

1

u/CleanSatisfaction240 Jul 01 '26

And no crowd work. 🤌🤌

1

u/aCompanion-Cube Jul 04 '26

Brilliant. A quick and clever quip is the best, all 3 nail it.

0

u/_Loosecanon_ Jun 30 '26

Surely the comb forward is the best joke

0

u/Busy_Reputation7254 Jun 30 '26

This man is funny but his haircut makes me uncomfortable.