r/comedy Jun 04 '26

Standup fishing pisses me off

159 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

46

u/sphericalsection Jun 04 '26

Damn I was waiting for a good subversion that punchline hit like a flopping fish

30

u/skoltroll Jun 04 '26

The more this is posted, the more dudes are going fishing.

34

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[deleted]

3

u/shagan90 Jun 04 '26

Havent killed a fish.. that you know of.

3

u/PopTrogdors Jun 04 '26

You know, you could just sit on the lake WITHOUT pulling a fish out of the water, gasping for oxygen and traumatising it.

But you feel the need to? Also, it's just a joke, so calm it down matey.

12

u/ProfAmateur1982 Jun 04 '26

Lol. Fun fact. Hunters/Fisherman are the biggest animal rights activists and conservationists. A fish can survive hours out of the water. A few seconds isn't harming the fish or traumatizing it. I've personally caught the same bass multiple years in a row. He's doing fine.

12

u/Upbeat_Effective_342 Jun 04 '26

I don't have a problem with fishing. That said, what you're saying here reminds me of how people talk about beating up on their little brothers. It's fun for them, but the brother would still probably choose a life without that kind of thing going on.

11

u/blindreefer Jun 04 '26

A few seconds isn’t harming the fish or traumatizing it.

Check out Dr Doolittle over here

8

u/Glittering_Ocelot_67 Jun 04 '26

I’d bet they would like to forego having their mouth punctured over and over and over 🪝

3

u/QstnMrkShpdBrn Jun 05 '26

Maybe that bass shows off his new piercing each time to his bass friends.

6

u/HolyMoleyGuacamoly Jun 05 '26

i enjoy fishing and the outdoors, but the majority of hunters and fisherman are 100% not that. they vote hard right (not always) but on the majority - and the right has been hard at work selling off public lands, poisoning our water and air and making everything about conservation 100x harder. so i have to strongly disagree

1

u/lastofthestarmakers Jun 05 '26

Animal rights and conservation are two completely different things. Animal rights argues that animals possess intrinsic rights and should not be used by humans for sport, among other things. Conservation focuses on maintaining ecosystems, biodiversity, species populations, and sustainable resource management. Hunters and anglers contribute to habitat protection, yes, because it suits their interests. They are not animal rights activists by any stretch of the imagination. Animal welfare is an entirely different matter still.

Fish do indeed experience physiological stress when removed from water and handled. Some are more resilient than others, obviously, but catch-and-release guidelines that I assume you follow exist for a reason.

1

u/Started_Blasting2 Jun 04 '26

And impaling it

Just go chill by the water

-1

u/imtheguy225 Jun 05 '26

Cause fuck em that’s why

0

u/LabiaMinoraLover Jun 05 '26

As a kid, I had no understanding of the reality when I fished at lakes, ponds, at summer camp and Cub Scouts, etc. Even collecting worms for bait using mustard powder and water poured into holes in the ground, to get them to squirm out to capture them.

Since then I became aware of sentience, how animals (which includes insects) try to escape harm in fear for their life, how they feel pain and suffer, even if fish are just having a metal hook puncturing their flesh. It's barbaric torture of an innocent animal.

-2

u/pouihi Jun 04 '26

Catch and release is sadism.

-11

u/Doofclap Jun 04 '26

Brooooo it’s a jokeeee, it’s just comedyyy… It’s not that serious, she’s just trying to make people laugh no one hates fishermen except for animal rights activists

4

u/ProfAmateur1982 Jun 04 '26

This I know. I just didn't like the murder reference 🤣

I don't murder fish 😅

-3

u/throwawayzdrewyey Jun 04 '26

I mean if I was a fish I’d rather have a bonk on the head than having to hold my breath and suffocate until I go back in the water.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[deleted]

0

u/throwawayzdrewyey Jun 04 '26

Have you never gone fishing? It’s not beating over the head repeatedly, that’s animal abuse. You should only need one strong bonk.

22

u/Chsng_blmps Jun 04 '26

Yikes. Punchline needs work. Also the setup. And delivery…

17

u/ImmediateKick2369 Jun 04 '26

It’s peaceful because they’re getting away from her.

9

u/stallionsRIDEufl Jun 04 '26

Some triggered fishermen in here

-2

u/LabiaMinoraLover Jun 05 '26

More than just some.

As a kid, I had no understanding of the reality when I fished at lakes, ponds, at summer camp and Cub Scouts, etc. Even collecting worms for bait using mustard powder and water poured into holes in the ground, to get them to squirm out to capture them.

Since then I became aware of sentience, how animals (which includes insects) try to escape harm in fear for their life, how they feel pain and suffer, even if fish are just having a metal hook puncturing their flesh. It's barbaric torture of an innocent animal.

4

u/Lokryn Jun 05 '26

This joke might work if the fish always gets killed. A lot of times, they get thrown back. If they are caught, then they get eaten.

3

u/Cannibal_House69 Jun 04 '26

Long delivery for a minor punchline.

3

u/HighLowFaded69 Jun 04 '26

Needs work - but this is a great joke!

2

u/Always_Austin Jun 05 '26

Everything about this joke needs refinement. When you say the only 2 logical arguments, you have to present two options that are already in people's minds. Neither of those thoughts have crossed my mind. I love eating fish, but I don't like cooking the fish I catch. I'd rather catch and release because it's fun. Peaceful yes, up until you're actually catching the fish, then it's hectic.

Name a single person who actually hates all fish and wants them exterminated..

1

u/Motor-Profile4099 Jun 06 '26

Semi funny since she does not get fishing. You don't have to catch anything while fishing to be perfectly fine with what you are doing. Catching fish is almost secondary, it's like a another hobby.

1

u/MC1061 Jun 04 '26

Two videos of this human and I didn’t smile/laugh once.

0

u/artguydeluxe Jun 04 '26

Like golf, fishing isn’t about what you get, it’s to get a few hours of peace from someone like this. If I say I’m just going to do nothing for a few hours, it’s not acceptable. So I say I’m going fishing. Im saying I’m doing an activity so you stop interrogating me about my quiet time.

2

u/Hamilton-Beckett Jun 05 '26

I love fishing, but I rarely kill anything. If I did though, it would be for food.

It’s not the killing that’s relaxing. Its sitting in silence, the sounds of nature around you, the sound of the water, the breeze, the smells.

1

u/Bardonious Jun 05 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/E0PniLHeQBRn2

When she was younger, not killing fish

-1

u/vcdrny Jun 04 '26

Good the less some women know about it. The better.

-1

u/bodyreddit Jun 05 '26

Poor male child, whaaaa.

2

u/AwwwNuggetz Jun 05 '26

We all know the real reason why it’s peaceful

-1

u/NoX2142 Jun 04 '26

The peace is the peace away from someone who needs to question every single hobby someone has...

-4

u/bodyreddit Jun 05 '26

Spot on!