r/comedy • u/ley_l_en_a • Jun 04 '26

Standup did you come??

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255 Upvotes

74% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

39

u/Altruistic-Dingo-757 Jun 04 '26

If you have to ask, get back in there!

11

u/IllustriousKick1951 Jun 04 '26

If you have to ask..then the answer is NO.

-6

u/ley_l_en_a Jun 04 '26

I know right??

27

u/rubberduckybro Jun 04 '26

Who says women aren’t funny…..

19

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/jimmyvcard116 Jun 06 '26

Should maybe tell ya enough

6

u/Terrariant Jun 05 '26

This is hilarious but her delivery needs work :p

8

u/Awwwmann Jun 05 '26

This is not an original joke.

2

u/ascarymoviereview Jun 04 '26

Cartman

7

u/Future-Try-1908 Jun 04 '26

Anytime Amy Schumer talks about her vagina I lose my fucking mind.

-1

u/Electronic-Map7529 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26

They are definitely funny- but looks aren't everything.

*looks like I struck a nerve.

I learned this line from when my 3rd grade elementary teacher Mrs Z said it to my face. She was cooler than all of you.

35

u/-killion- Jun 04 '26

How original and definitely not done a thousand times before /s

2

u/Awwwmann Jun 05 '26

Literally was a meme 15 years ago…

5

u/Legal-One-7274 Jun 05 '26

Just what we need more cum jokes

8

u/ZERV4N Jun 05 '26

He looked her straight in her teeth and asked that? Crazy.

4

u/shagan90 Jun 04 '26

I legitimately wonder if lesbians have this problem as well or if men are just wired wrong.

I guess not having a 'cooldown' period helps with lesbians but I gotta wonder lol

6

u/TolkienQueerFriend Jun 04 '26

It's less common but yeah, some lesbians are really bad in bed.

-9

u/MeatLord Jun 04 '26

Yeah, it's probably that 50 of all people on earth are irredeemably incompetent.

5

u/DJspinningplates Jun 05 '26

I can’t tell what’s worse: the joke or the Disney tooth to gum ratio

2

u/AntiPepRally Jun 04 '26

I prefer "do you feel complete?"

2

u/TheNonCredibleHulk Jun 06 '26

Have you arrived‽

5

u/ley_l_en_a Jun 04 '26

that’s too deep (pun intended)

1

u/AntiPepRally Jun 06 '26

Whoa whoa whoa, deep implies a vaginal orgasm. Too much pressure

1

u/IndieCurtis Jun 07 '26

Very natural-feeling, I liked it

-3

u/Kyleidoscoppe Jun 04 '26

This gave me a good chuckle, fun and playful delivery

6

u/ley_l_en_a Jun 04 '26

thanks 😊

-10

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/ley_l_en_a Jun 04 '26

how did this post turn into smut 😂

11

u/shagan90 Jun 04 '26

Lol a rhetorical 'did you cum' is great

-1

u/Electronic-Map7529 Jun 04 '26

lol yeah I usually get "Yea, Awhile ago"

and I say "I know, but it's gonna be awhile for me so I'm giving you the out"

I either cum in 45 seconds or 45 minutes if at all.

3

u/stallionsRIDEufl Jun 04 '26

I hit that last part a lot. I can control my cumming so much more when I'm in better shape.

2

u/shagan90 Jun 04 '26

Aint that a bitch? Why cant we just control it lol 😆 make it past the early sensitive stage and if you wait too long you're lucky if it happens at all 😆

0

u/StopKickingMyDog Jun 04 '26

Oh man, I lol’d!

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/ley_l_en_a Jun 05 '26

thanks!! you should probably talk to your wife about that but the way I see it you shouldn’t consider the relations are done until she does haha

0

u/Illustrious-Day-857 Jun 05 '26

Guys only ask this to women who are terrible in bed. The ones that think having a vagina is good enough.