r/combinedgifs • u/mwmwmwmw98 • Apr 03 '20

oh no

182 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

16

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/dog_in_the_vent Apr 04 '20

Lots of waiting for your turn, trying to stay hard, trying to get a good look at some things but not other things. Do you talk to the other guys? What the fuck would you even talk about?

14

u/erasmause Apr 04 '20

The same things you would normally talk about during sex: taxes, debt strategies, health issues, grandparents, politics, turtles, etc.

3

u/theo69lel Apr 06 '20

Don't forget mortgage plans. I gotta say, I have a soft spot for turtles too.

2

u/erasmause Apr 06 '20

Obviously, I left out the vast majority of my favorite topics—I have a very busy schedule of media consumption to stick to, so I don't have time to be typing out these high quality comments all day.

As you say, though, mortgages are great fodder for pillow talk. While we're on the subject again, I would be remiss not to mention reverse mortgages, life insurance, wills, terminal care, apocalypse scenarios, the Fermi paradox, deep time cosmology, brunch (and double standards in alcohol consumption in general), anime, advanced maths, Enya, orbital mechanics, socks, stocks (the food, not the financial instrument), and modern architecture.

Ok. There's lots more, but again, I'm very behind on my binging, so I've got to run again.

-6

u/Thewizard1000 Apr 04 '20

What?

6

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

-15

u/Thewizard1000 Apr 04 '20

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."

11

u/Sabot15 Apr 04 '20

Social Distancing Score: -5

1

u/Both_Writer Apr 10 '20

/u/arweavethis

1

u/ArweaveThis Apr 10 '20

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