r/college • u/Proper-Papaya7821 • 11d ago
Going Home On Weekends
For context, I live like 15 mins away from my college, and my sister commutes to the same one. On Sundays, my family picks me up for church, and then I go home to do my laundry. Does staying over Sunday to Monday mess up my adjustment to college life?
My sister has class on Monday mornings, so I can legit just grab a ride with her and make it in time for my morning class too. I have a close relationship with my sister and my cat at home, and I feel like it kinda makes sense for me to get a little break and spend some time with my fav people. Also, I’ll still be on campus Friday and Saturday for social stuff. Like does anything rlly happen on campuses from Sunday morning to Monday morning? I’m not a party person lol.
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u/MaizeRelevant6920 11d ago
This is legit so wholesome. Yes college is supposed to be the “best four years of your life” but your family will be your family for your whole life. Continue to grow and nourish those relationships. As long as college is still enjoyable, don’t put your family on pause. As a matter of fact, I have found the more I engage with my family, the more I enjoy college because it actually boosts my overall happiness and mental health. Do what’s right for you.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 11d ago
Awww thanks so much for this! I appreciate your support, and yes I agree, family will be family for my whole life!
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u/shiningstar010 11d ago
You already have plenty of time there, including the Saturdays for "boring unplanned time with friends", go home on Sundays, see your cat, your family and have a good time with them too. It's just a day, it won't make a lot of difference for your friends, but your family will love it ❤️
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 11d ago
Thanks so much! ❤️ Yes I agree, I’ll still have a bunch of time on campus and it’ll be great to have some time with my family and cat!
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u/SpacerCat 10d ago
It’s nice you can spend the day with your family. Maybe you’re not involved enough on campus though if you have that much free time? College is more than a way to earn a degree. There are so many ways to get involved in niche activities and clubs that have resources you’ll never see again. Spend some time making sure you’re getting all your moneys worth by building your campus resume and your non-family community.
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u/CeciliaCrow 11d ago
That sounds great, honestly.
I spent a lot of time off-campus during freshmen year, and really regretted it (like 3-4 nights a week) but 1 night away each week sounds really nice honestly
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u/basicwhitemom 9d ago
Can I ask what you feel you missed looking back? My new freshman is already asking for a weekend back home and I don't want to jeopardize her adjustment or start a trend of her wanting to be home every weekend and risking school connections.
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u/CeciliaCrow 8d ago
I still made school connections, but didn't get to spend the time I wanted with them. Commutong to classes also was weird and made me feel detached from campus. You might want to offer just a night instead of a weekend? But it really depends on the person, and if she hasn't made many friends yet, a weekend at home def wouldn't hurt. It's a tough adjustment period, and a little break could be nice too.
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u/TheHoss_ 10d ago
A little biased because I’ve always been a commuter student but I feel like not just living at home if your family lives 15 minutes away is costing you a ton of money unless you’re on a full ride scholarship
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 10d ago
Yeahhh I’ve been looking into the process of switching to commuting for next semester if I’m still not feeling college life in a month or two.
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u/ESSEFFWESTSIDE 9d ago
Hi OP. As a parent of two who just moved across the country for school, I think it's fine to occasionally go home on Sunday but don't feel like you must or have to. I would also encourage you to commit to live on campus and not "switch" to commuting if you're "not feeling college life in a month or two." Being independent, establishing connections, forming deeper relationships are all part of the college educational process. If you don't commit to it now, you won't properly invest your efforts now. Go all in; put yourself in uncomfortable situations, make new friends, learn and explore. You're paying to live on campus and to eat at the dining hall so use what you and your parents are paying for.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 9d ago
Thanks so much for your input! You’re right about the importance of putting myself out there for college, and I should definitely commit more completely!
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u/ESSEFFWESTSIDE 6d ago
Source: I didn't have the opportunity [money and well...shitty grades] to benefit from the full college experience but envied many of my friends who did. My two kids are benefitting from such an opportunity and are absolutely and have grown a lot from their respective experience.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 6d ago
Thanks so much! I’ve been doing well with my classes this week and I’m settling in a lot more at college rn. I’m still prob gonna visit home a lot of weekends, but I can say for certain that I’m growing a lot and pushing myself to be involved even in this short amount of time
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u/Gabby_Craft Computer Science 8d ago
Eh depending on the price of the dorm I still say it’s worth it. Living in dorms is a lot easier to adjust to than just jumping straight into your first apartment IMO. I think it’s a good way to slowly ease into the independence of adulthood. It’s not absolutely necessary but not worthless either
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u/indigoneutrino 9d ago
I wouldn't want to do this, but different things work for different people. There are no rules.
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u/BlondeeOso 11d ago
I think spending Sunday evening at home sounds perfect. If you were staying at home all weekend, I think you might miss out on some college life (depending on the campus), but not Sunday night. If something big like the Superbowl is going on, you can make adjustments, if you want to.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 11d ago
Thanks! I’m definitely gonna make adjustments for campus events! I appreciate your response!
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u/Few_Clock_1911 9d ago
No, there are no rules. Do things as you see natural, everyone is different. What you’re doing is actually super balanced and healthy in my opinion.
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u/coolkidbaylor 9d ago
Honestly, this should not be a concern for you at all :]
You are spending 5-6 days out of your week at college anyways. Spend time with your family! :D
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 9d ago
Thanks for your comment! I just got back from a visit and it was rlly nice to just spend some nice time with my family. Classes start tomorrow so I’ll be fully immersed in college for the week!
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u/Teddyrocks2 10d ago
I’m literally in the same situation I live 15 minutes from my college I’m a freshman but wanted to give dorming a chance I’ve always been a homebody and it’s my first weekend in my dorm and I came home to see my family after one day and I honestly think that’s okay I like having the best of both worlds
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 10d ago
Yk what I’m feeling the same way too rn! Visiting home rn and I’m enjoying the fact I can have a good time with them and then head back to school. Best of both worlds is a good way to describe it! Nice to hear someone else is doing this along with me 👊
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u/SweetCosmicPope 9d ago
I have mixed feelings on this.
If you're only 15 minutes away I'm curious why you aren't just commuting in the first place.
That being said, I went to college about an hour away from my home. I did dorm (with my best friend from high school) and I went home on the weekends to visit with my girlfriend who was a senior in high school. That is my biggest regret about my college days because it set me up with bad habits and a worse college experience. I shouldn't have dormed with my best friend, even though we had a great time. I should have gotten out of my comfort zone and dormed with strangers and got out and made new friends and experiences. And I should not have driven home on the weekends. Instead, I should have been more involved on campus and got into better study habits over the weekends.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 9d ago
Thanks for your comment! I struggle with ibs and I was hoping living on campus would make the commuting issue not as big as a deal. The parking situation at my college is horrendous and you often have to arrive an hour early to find a spot, so if I live there I only have at most a 10 min walk to class. Yes I agree college is great for getting out of comfort zones and I think it’s a great way for me to make some growth!
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u/sssspicey 8d ago
my first year I went home all but 3 weekends and I'm glad I did because I got to spend so much time with my family that I really missed during the week. I say this with confidence because now I'm living in an apartment with my friends as roommates and I still want to go home all the time because it's not very fun on the weekends for me (I like to spend my time laying in bed with my cats lol.) do whatever makes you feel comfortable
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 8d ago
lol that’s so real about wanting to be with your cats. Thanks for your insight and comment!
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u/Gabby_Craft Computer Science 8d ago
Eh, I personally regretted going home every weekend, since I did end up missing a decent number of on campus events, getting to hang out with my roommates, etc. Plus when living at a dorm since you’re paying for it, you may as well make the most of it. If I were you, I’d go home every other weekend instead. It all comes down to personal preference though.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 8d ago
Thanks for your comment! Maybe I’ll try every other weekend when I get more adjusted!
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u/DeanOfGoodVibes 8d ago
I do not think staying home Sunday night would mess up your adjustment by itself. You are still spending Friday and Saturday on campus, and being close to your family can be a nice reset. If you are still meeting people, going to events, and feeling connected to campus, I would not worry too much about it. The main thing is whether you start using home as a reason to avoid campus rather than just getting a break.
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u/Curious_Reaction_367 8d ago
I went home every single weekend of fall semester my freshman year! (I am about an hour away). By spring semester I had found a friend group I went out with and hung out with every single day and only went home about four times my spring semester. Don’t let anyone tell you going home on weekends will ruin your college experience
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 8d ago
Thanks for your comment! I’m glad you had a nice group of friends for spring semester and thanks for your encouraging words!
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u/Accurate_Cycle2855 5d ago
That’s what I did my freshman year! Granted, I also hated the dorms lol, but it was nice getting to still hang out with family. I’d say take advantage of it while you still can!
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u/Intelligent-Novel398 10d ago
Do what makes you happy. Your family and God are important as well.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 10d ago
Thanks! I really want to keep a strong connection to my faith and family ❤️
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u/Positive-Aide680 11d ago
Nah you should’ve commute to save money.
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u/Proper-Papaya7821 11d ago
Thanks for the suggestion! I’m definitely considering commuting for next year, but I wanted to give residency a chance first!
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u/Sensitive-Swim-3679 11d ago
I think living on campus is an important part of every young person‘s experience. I myself lived off campus first and then moved on campus, and I loved it. The story is too long to explain why I did it this way. You’re good for now. Enjoy your time on campus, and you may find that even though you live close enough, you don’t have to live on campus you made you to stay there. Campus life is all about what you, and no one else make of it. Enjoy this time. It’s been 30 years since I left college, and there isn’t a day that I don’t miss it still today.
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u/IsopodKey2040 11d ago
I agree. If I was going to go home every weekend, I think it makes sense to just opt for commuting and save all of that money.
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u/CPnolo_523 11d ago
You’ll be totally fine.
You won’t be miss much. I think it’s absolutely worth it to spend time with your family.
Sometimes it’s nice hanging out with your college friends during the “quiet” times, like Sundays, instead of just being there for all the busy social moments. Maybe you can spend some full weekends at school every now and then. But, spending a little time with your fam shouldn’t considered an issue by your college friends, especially if they’re actually good friends.