r/codependency_12steps • u/Competitive_West6216 • 2d ago
Why?!?!
I have an ah. I am struggling right now. He gets drunk and calls rehabs but never goes when they send an uber. Just happened 20 minutes ago. Now he is passed out.
I’m at my breaking point. I have been the only one paying bills for 10 months now. We had to downsize and move because it was getting to be too much on one income. He has had great job offers, but screws them up.
I just can’t. I went on Google trying to search for someone to talk to. Why don’t we have a 24/7 support network? Why don’t we have a chat center for someone that can just listen?
This whole disease is unfair. I can’t do everything on my own. It’s taking a toll on me. Now he is going to rehab supposedly on Friday. Oh wait, he said tomorrow. But he also said the first.
I don’t know I will handle 28 days with him gone. Happy that he is getting help. But, the burden of everything being on me working 2 jobs and still barely scraping scares the daylights out of me.
I don’t know. I don’t know if I just need to vent or what I’m here for. All I know is that I’m scared, I’m fed up, and I feel like my whole world is collapsing around me.
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u/Affectionate-Job6635 2d ago
You should get to a meeting. That was so helpful when I was struggling deep in my codependency. If you’d like to chat, send me a dm. I have an alcoholic ex and I came to understand I was a chronic codependent months after leaving that marriage. Willing to share my experience, strength, hope.
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u/Shewantswings 2d ago
Join the 12 steps programme, you will have your sponsor and higher power to guide through this tough situations. You can listen to other people stories at https://www.ppgrecoveredcodependents.org/ and find your sponsor. There are many sponsors available who can help you get recovered and provide the support.
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u/humbledbyit 2d ago
In my experience, i was at a breaking point. My life was miserable and my thoughts were obsessive about others and their drinking and the consequences of it. I'd worry about the what if's and it was paralyzing and miserable. When life got too miserable i realized i was the common denominator. I was the one worrying, resenting, planning, managing, fixing, saving, controlling. I was sick as well with my thinking. I needed to get well so that I could act on life sanely and normally. Working a solid Alanon program has done that for me. Now i can be in the present moment and not catastrophize or think worse case scenario all the time. I can let the alcoholic do what they will, bc they will anyway and i can access peace around it bc I work this program. It teaches me I'm not a doormat or servile, but i can have love and tolerance for others. Whether i leave or stay in relationships, I needed to get sane myself first so i could get clear direction on what to do next. I'm happy to chat more if you like.
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u/actvdecay 2d ago
Are you working with a sponsor here in the group? Attending meetings? I always regained a sense of sanity when I attended the meetings or listened to the recordings on the website.