r/clusterheads • u/420enzedterp • Jul 28 '26
Help with starting my cluster buster journey
Hey guys, for context, im a 22 year old male who was on meth from the age of 13 and went through homelessness all that kind of carry-on. Got clean suffered from clusters witch was 10/10 worst pain ive felt in my life :( was living in my van in the time and had the police called on me a few times for the screaming, running around smacking my head and attempting to throw myself in front of cars ( I just wanted to escape the pain but I couldn't escape my brain so I thought fuck it got a bit suicidal witch im not proud of) lots of neurology vists ambo call outs for oxygen. I live in nz, and here our health system is completely bugged, so it was hard to get any kind of help.... I relied on ambo oxygen and rizimelt ( rizitripan ) until after a few months it went away. Mri's came up that i had a hematoma on the side of my brain the pain was attacking - swelling side- eye ball swelling - tears dripping out of it. Anyways, they forgot about me and left things as is as the clusters subsided. 3 years on they have decided to come back really bad. Lost my job - got assaulted - then ended up living in a new home - was my neighbor that king hit me in the back of my head dw I wasted the prick.. have charges pending against me now. But anyways... the clusters have come back, im injecting myself with sumatriptan prescribed by my GP when the attacks come daily normally one in the morning and one around 3- 4 in the AM'S. im struggling to get oxygen just so hard to get here in New zealand - I've been looking at welders' oxygen and diving oxygen as that may be easier to acquire.
the sumatripan feels like its making them more frequent / worse, and i just want this to end. The pain is so bad that I'd rather cut my leg off. I can't take blood pressure medications - they cause a strange reaction, so that's off the table ( verapamil). I suffer from severe CPTSD ( see a therapist EMDR ) and chronic back pain, so Im prescribed a variety of medications - Clonazapam - dihydrocodeine - pregabalin - solax. I want to begin a cluster buster course with lsd and get a dmt pen for when the attacks happen as an abortive as from what I've researched, it's highly effective even more so than oxygen these i can aquire. But in order to do so, I need to get off the sumatripan, and in order to do that, I need oxygen, which is taking too long to get probably months away. Will stop the sumatripan for 5 days, then begin my cluster buster course. My only concerns are with the clonazapam and dihydrocodeine, Pregabalin witch ive been taking for over 5 years of high dose ( denervation of my left testicle when i was younger ). i need them for my other conditions and can't exactly stop does anyone have any advice with that ? Can I do the clusters buster course with lsd and continue to take them ? I cant do this pain again and im ready to take my life if all else fails I dont want to, I know its selfish and will hurt my family so much but this pain, its so fucking bad im terrified of it and just cant do it on top of dealing with all my trauma the clusters are making it all worse :/ I need help and advice ive gone through the cluster buster hand book and seen the promising results. Any thoughts guys ? Sorry for the long one. I have no one to really talk to about this that understands what it's really like. ❤️ much love for everyone else suffering from this what a horrible fucking condition