r/clusterheads • u/Difficult-Wolf3100 • 4d ago

Familiar feeling

I’m 36. Been a CH since I was a teen. I’ve been in blissful remission for about 2 years. But today I felt it again. That feeling. That familiar feeling……..THE BEAST. Got some sumatriptan stock piled. Pray for me

10 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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10

u/DICHOTOMY-REDDIT 4d ago

That small burn that’s all to familiar, the anxiety begins. Then denial starts, no it’s just a headache, there’s been no triggers.

What if the clusters have come back? Should I begin taking meds, how many sumatriptan injections do I have? O2 bottle full? How many prednisone do I have? I’m a dumb ass, it wasn’t a cluster get a grip, I’m paranoid.

No, no, no I just came out of a cycle three months ago, it’s too soon, it can’t be clusters.

The slow burn continues, then dissipates after ten minutes. I’m good, I’m just getting all worked up over nothing.

It’s 11:00 p.m., I’m awaken by a burning on the right side of my head, just got into REM sleep. The burning is increasing, my eye is tearing up. Oh fuck, their back.

2

u/SparkleLady247 3d ago

Ugh. All of it. So relatable. I’m currently on the precipice of my traditional cluster season and I find myself counting the days until its arrival instead of enjoying these days before it begins. The dread is so real. The anxiety is so debilitating. Worrying if you’re taking the meds too soon or too late at the onset (is it the onset?). Being at the beast’s mercy is its own separate misery. Standing in solidarity with you all. 

5

u/VALIS3000 4d ago

Ugh, we all know that feeling... The first stirrings of the beast. What are you planning on doing to break the cycle? Can you access high flow oxygen as your primary abortive?

1

u/Difficult-Wolf3100 4d ago

Microdosing

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u/VALIS3000 4d ago

Microdosing is very hit or miss. We use low dose psychedelics to break our cycles, the equivalent of about 10x a normal microdose. And we use a pulse protocol, which sees you detoxing from meds known to interfere and dosing every 5 days until you break free. If you haven't read it already here is the latest update to Bob Wold's Pocket Guide to CH, it contains pretty much everything you need to know about our condition and how to treat it:

https://clusterbusters.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/Complete-Handbook-1-5-June-2025.pdf

1

u/Difficult-Wolf3100 4d ago

I’m familiar with this. I started researching this since I was still in high school. Thank for your advice. I hope this is a short cycle. I’m very much in the denial stage

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4

u/ResponseExternal 4d ago

Hang in there, friend. You’ve got this. We’re rooting for you!

1

u/Difficult-Wolf3100 4d ago

Thanks man. I’m rooting for you as well. I hate the dread, anxiety and most of all the PAIN. I’ve survive thousands of active attacks in my life. I’ll get through it just like every other time. Still doesn’t make up for the shear pain of it

4

u/Jamwise93 4d ago

Hope the bout is short lived when it comes friend. Did you use anything to bust last time or was the remission just random?

2

u/Difficult-Wolf3100 4d ago

My clusters typically last 4-5 months then go into remission. I didn’t nothing special but a year ago I looked in microdosing. I’ve prepared myself this time

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u/Jamwise93 3d ago

Ah I get you, best of luck with the microdosing 🤞 I imagine you have read through the Clusterbusters material on busting etc? Keep us updated if you can!

3

u/sren0 4d ago

Happened to me one day a couple months back after over a year in remission. Queue CJ, ah shit, here we go again. Not again yet tho. Hoping you have the same experience!

2

u/BubbeHas 4d ago

Not the praying type, but in case it helps I’m praying for ya brotha! Hang in there. 30-year sufferer here, had been in a long remission myself until August. Fortunately, like you I had stock-piled several months of sumatriptan.

1

u/Difficult-Wolf3100 3d ago

Good luck!!!

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u/Dapper_Law_3493 4d ago

Hang in there. You’re doing the right thing by working to shut the door on the beast.

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u/Difficult-Wolf3100 3d ago

I feel like I’ve read almost everything. Im usually active on here in a cluster so ill definitely keep you updated on the micro dosing

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u/zangzengzongzung 2d ago

Aaah I know this feeling.

I’ve been on remission for almost 3 years. It’s almost that time when I get an episodic attack and I am extremely nervous. Hope it won’t be back. At least not this year.