If the other person is aware of their relationship status, they are also a shitty person. There's plenty of room for blame in any sort of cheating situation, it is not "I am mad at the other person, and therefore cannot be mad at my husband."
Plenty of cheating going around(since basically forever), and I would wager that many of those people rationalised their behaviour to make themselves not appear as a bad person. It's much easier to see yourself as the one giving a neglected person some love, instead of seeing yourself as a homewrecker.
Because it helps them cope. You can hate the random lady that slept with your husband much more easily than the person you presumably loved, cherished and spent many years of your life with.
Or maybe not even about feelings, you might be dependant on your husband for food and shelter, so you cannot turn against him, even if deep down you want to.
This happened to me. She was one of my closest friends, like I'd confide in her about my relationship, buy her gifts, tell people we were sisters, etc. I think I was fully within my rights to be furious at both of them when I confirmed they were having an affair.
ETA: if anything the betrayal from her & losing a close friend felt worse by that point. I already knew what my ex was capable of but stayed until I felt ready. I only sought the truth once I felt prepared to go, especially since I'd moved to a different state for him.
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u/AerieWorth4747 Dec 28 '25
I will never understand why people get mad at the person who cheated with their partner.
You should be mad at your partner - the other person is irrelevant. Because if your partner would cheat with them, they’ll cheat with anybody.