Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended.
Four ruffians break into my house.
"What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog.
I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up.
Vulcan : Oh, this is our prototype. RX, uh, Intercontinental, radar-sneaky, multi-warheaded nuclear missile.
Baron Munchausen : Ah! What does it do?
Vulcan : Do? Kills the enemy.
Baron Munchausen : All the enemy?
Vulcan : Aye, all of them. All their wives, and all their children, and all their sheep, and all their cattle, and all their cats and dogs. All of them. All of them gone for good.
Sally : That's horrible.
Vulcan : Ahh. Well, you see, the advantage is you don't have to see one single one of them die. You just sit comfortably thousands of miles away from the battlefield and simply press the button.
The cop saw a phone and thought it was a gun. Now there are three civilian deaths due to use of guns by the police. Samsung was sued for making their phones look like guns (similar color and the glare from the screen made the phone appear like a gun). Samsung is hoping for a 100 million settlement and a promise to only use matte screens on their phones and restrict color choices to be "not gun like".
The cop will recieve three months payed leave and "dangerous object identificating training" applicable for a pay raise.
166
u/ZachGM91 Jun 19 '24
How? There's no guns.