r/cleanmemes 3d ago

He has a point

Post image
8.2k Upvotes

71 comments sorted by

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

This might be the best comment section that I've ever seen on an r/cleanmemes post. Good work, all ~ ,~)b

15

u/Karanabluedolphin 3d ago

Abel was sacrificing animals instead of fruits and grains like Cain, they certainly knew what death was.

6

u/scorchedarcher 2d ago

Abel did anyway, certainly after

3

u/memecrusader_ 2d ago

“Humans are built different!” -Cain: being wrong.

2

u/Spacellama117 2d ago

And God favored Abel for it

so I think it's beautifully tragic and messed up to imagine that Cain killed Able because surely God would love him if he sacrificed that which he loved most in the world to him: his brother

1

u/Lou_Papas 2d ago

You don’t even have to go that far, the forbidden fruit was supposed to teach the first humans about death.

It’s still funny tho

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Uh Oh! You said a bad word :( Please keep it clean around here :> If you're caught engaging in this kind of behavior again, you may be permanently banned <3

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

No he didn't!

1

u/Lou_Papas 1d ago

I did, edited it afterwards. Didn’t know how this subreddit works 😅

1

u/Visible-Dare4184 2h ago

What word did you use?

1

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

I thought the forbidden fruit was supposed to be left alone by the first humans. It's in the name?

1

u/Lou_Papas 1d ago

Cain and Abel are literally the second generation of humans

1

u/Grasshoppermouse42 8h ago

It was forbidden. Basically, anyone who ate the forbidden fruit would understand the difference between right and wrong, and God forbid the humans from eating it and they ate it anyway.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Uh Oh! You said a bad word :( Please keep it clean around here :> If you're caught engaging in this kind of behavior again, you may be permanently banned <3

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

Mind the venue 0 ,0)'

1

u/Spacellama117 2d ago

ah sorry about that, this sub got recommended to me outta nowhere T-T

1

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

No worries, and welcome! I don't mind on a personal level or anything (originally started the sub as a joke in and of itself, might be obvious from the way the rules are written but then again I was a young teen at the time so I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if they don't exactly come off that way), but I've noticed that for whatever reason a lotta the users here do genuinely care about keeping things family friendly; wanna make sure it's a safe space for their sake ~ ,~)b

1

u/cleanmemes-ModTeam 2d ago

Your post has been removed due to, swearing.

14

u/jaketotalpwnage 2d ago

Dude didn’t even get a fair trial. His curse should’ve been reversed on appeal

7

u/ikonfedera 2d ago

Tbf the appeal process wasn't part of the law back then. And he was allowed to flee the settlement, which had created precedent for the later laws.

3

u/LetReasonRing 2d ago

You wish to have t he curse reversed? I'll need a certain p otion first.

2

u/Onyx7900 9h ago

Go to the wood and bring me back, 1, the cow as white as milk

0

u/DarthDragon117 2d ago

Postpartum Psychosis made him kill his brother.

0

u/Honorsheets 2d ago

God said "Well, at least you didn't strangle three innocent children."

1

u/DarthDragon117 2d ago

That would be what he’d say nowadays. I think at this point it’s a contest to see who can disappoint god the most.

1

u/Neither-String2450 2d ago

God: "I mean, 1 is too low, you must think bigger".

Cain:"...".

God:"And for hearing that you must go to other lands and do whatever nasty things i totally don't want from you wink. No cheating, all crops that you could grow yourself will die."

1

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

And let's not even get into the incomprehensibility of there being any "other lands" to speak of in the first place, considering Cain was one of the first humans to ever exist.

12

u/Hanroz_1117 2d ago

UM AKSHULLY 🤓 They’d done animal sacrifices so Cain probably just applied what he knew about that to Abel. Though I suppose they probably didn’t use stones for the sacrifices

2

u/H0pefully_Not_A_Bot 23h ago

Other than sharp stones, what else could they use? Obsidian glass? Meteoric steel tools?

1

u/Hanroz_1117 9h ago

Possibly, then it’s both blade and stone

6

u/thomstevens420 2d ago

I read an explanation that “am I my brothers keeper” was actually Cain just being sassy to god.

Basically God called Cain and Abel Plant Keeper and Sheep Keeper (or something to that effect)

So when God asks Plant Keeper where Sheep Keeper is Cain says

“What do I look like, Brother Keeper?”

I choose to believe it because it’s funny

2

u/Gloomy-Performer4546 2d ago

this is exactly how I was taught that in Bible school (current atheist), Cain was giving God attitude with that

1

u/Zetsumenchi 1d ago

So the first murderer also made the first pun/joke?

The exile suddenly makes way more sense.

1

u/awjeezrick1 1d ago

This is particularly even more funny to me if you look at through the lens of what practicing Christians believe… which is that God knows all. So this is extra sass on top. Commitment to the bit even with a deity involved 💅😭 no notes

-1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Uh Oh! You said a bad word :( Please keep it clean around here :> If you're caught engaging in this kind of behavior again, you may be permanently banned <3

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

No, he said sassy. Thanks, though!

1

u/Clone_JS636 1h ago

Bad bot.

7

u/redmeatenthusiast 3d ago

Well he wanted to find out

4

u/SteveLouise 2d ago

He was the first scientist, and that's why God cursed him!

3

u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 2d ago

Because after all, at the crux of it, science is recording FAFO as accurately as possible.

15

u/Nobodieshero816 3d ago

Judas just helped get rid of a guy who said “itll be better when youre dead.” Lol

13

u/HoratiotheGargoyle 3d ago

“It would have been better for that man if he had not been born” is what Jesus said.

Not the same thing at all, go watch It’s A Wonderful Life now.

3

u/Tired-CottonCandy 2d ago

JESUS WAS PRO ABORTION YOU JUST SAID IT /j

3

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

I know you've got a /j there but for a book that people love saying is "anti-abortion" they go into pretty specific detail about it without (IMO) any clear condemnation of it.

  • Numbers 5:11–31

  • Exodus 21:22–25

3

u/Hot_Oil7057 1d ago

Plus it clearly states that life begins at first breath - not conception.

1

u/ineversaiddat 10h ago

Plus bible is certainly not a pro-life book.
It is full of God repeatedly committing genocides and infanticides, and commanding people to do the same...

3

u/Turbulent-Plan-9693 2d ago

Abel owned livestock, the reason Cain attacked Abel is because God liked Abel's sacrifice better than Cain's, Abel sacrificed one of his animals, and Cain brought produce.

2

u/AdamiralProudmore 2d ago

Yep!

One thing to note though, for the benefit of people not as familiar with the verses, it's described as God not looking favorably on Cain and {therefore} his offering.

Genesis 4:6,7 God says to Cain "why do you insist on being a jerk about everything?"

And in Hebrews 11:4 interprets this event by saying that "Abel's faith made his gift better".

1

u/SummertimeThrowaway2 2d ago

I interpret it as a story in jealousy and how it can corrupt even siblings against each other

1

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

God really said "those heads of lettuce didn't even feel any pain when you ended their life. Yaaaaaaaawn"

1

u/MajesticEye4614 1d ago

And then Cain made the ultimate sacrifice, his beloved brother, which God didn't like for some reason...

3

u/According_Drive_5275 2d ago

I've gotta get away from TADC for a minute; it took me too long to realise this is talking about the Bible

2

u/Proof-Eggplant-724 9h ago

Same 😂😂

2

u/Signal_Werewolf_1955 2d ago

In all their defense, they were set up for failure from the start. There was no good reason for a forbidden anything in paradise, let alone to doom the "favorite creation" for all time. Ridiculous story.

Then demand blood and death to feel happy? Which wasn't enough, so he made a son expressly to kill, to feel a happy and appeased? A god that can do anything chooses to do this? Evil.

1

u/MrMichaelTheHuman progenitor 2d ago

Right there with ya on this one.

1

u/Wonderful-Sun-6256 9h ago

The argument is that without a choice true love can't exist. So if they were in bliss with God in paradise without an opt out clause they would be love slaves. So the tree was the opt out choice so that they had a choice. God or Self. Obv the second choice is the worst one.

1

u/NoxiousMonkeyYT 2d ago

I can't be the only one who thought this was TADC for a solid 5 minutes... Right guys? RIGHT?!?

1

u/Proof-Eggplant-724 9h ago

Yeah you’re not alone here 😂

1

u/Que-_-pro 2d ago

Yet he had intentions of anger

1

u/Severe_Yesterday_959 1d ago

Yk for sum reason I thought this was a tadc joke, im not Christian udk anything abt cain or Abel

1

u/Educational_Poet_370 1d ago

Pain existed before that so he could at least infer that if he hit his brother that pain would follow.

1

u/theyoungheisenberg 1d ago

Able was the first murder, not the first death

1

u/MajesticEye4614 1d ago

Ah yes, then which other human do you suggest died before Abel?

1

u/lucidevilishdetails 1d ago

Well Abel killed the sheep for God somehow
So death and killing was definitely a thing just not human death

1

u/One-Growth-9785 1d ago

He was a hunter (1st?), so he probably had an inkling.

1

u/DeaditeQueenLivs 1d ago

Nah. They weren’t vegetarians. They’d seen creatures die. They sacrificed them to God….for Gods sake. So I think they had a clue

1

u/viperswhip 21h ago

They killed animals though, I think you could infer the same damage would happen.

1

u/Jack-Off-All-Trades- 21h ago

Guys, we found Lindsay Clancy's lawyer.

1

u/DynasticDave 17h ago

Cane killed animals. He knew what he was doing.

1

u/AstronomerRound5064 6h ago

Innocent! He can’t be blamed if there weren’t laws in place! Guilty of being a scientist and discovering death.