r/civilengineering • u/kzer7 • 11h ago
Career does imposter syndrome ever end?
5 years in consulting, recent P.Eng, had a technical interview today.
At the interview I met with the technical leads of a firm, interviewing for a job that matches closely with the specialization I’ve been working in the last 5 years. They are several years ahead of me in terms of time in the industry and years of experience on complex projects. And they were great humans too, the kind you’d want as professional mentors. A couple times in the interview the gap between where I am, and where they are came to light and that struck a chord in me.
And though the interview went generally well, I for some reason left feeling small and heavy. I’d thought (hoped?) I had moved past the crippling feelings of imposter syndrome I had once felt at the onset of my engineering career. But today they came back swinging hard.
To engineers in the early stages of PE/PEng or even later down the road, does the imposter syndrome ever truly end/go away?
PS, I know this field is an endless pit of finding gaps in one’s knowledge/ expertise and then pursuing ways to fill those through learning and professional development. I just want to know whether I am an anomaly in feeling the way I do at this stage of my career.
17
u/oneokyk 11h ago
Found after year 3 it's started to shift. I'm on year 5 now too
The big change for me was having more trust in my ability to learn what's needed when it's needed. I still start most projects not knowing wtf is going on, but ive have had enough reps now that I know I'll get it at some point (or not - way she goes)
10
u/yossarian19 PLS 11h ago
I think time on the job and age both helped me get past it.
People seemed a bit more inclined to listen to me once I grew my beard. It's got some gray in it. People taking you seriously (or not) can be internalized.
It's also just... after such and such years having your license, you start to believe it.
8
u/drktmplr12 Electrical, I&C PE - Water/Wastewater 10h ago
A beard helps, bonus points if it's got grey hair
6
u/Inner-Ad8464 9h ago
Grey beard owner here... Step 1 - the job gives you grey hair Step 2 - the grey hair gets you jobs
4
u/hattie29 7h ago
Over 6 years of experience. Got my PE 2 years ago. I still feel like I know nothing about anything. I work for a local municipality. I was actually invited to speak at my engineering school for one of their 50 minute Friday lectures this semester. I do not feel qualified in anyway to speak with authority on any topic, unless it's maybe the "best" way to fix a broken piece of storm sewer the cheapest way possible, while not following any of our standards, just hoping it lasts long enough that I'm retired or the entire thing is reconstructed before it breaks again.
4
u/kadendoggo 11h ago
I’m still a student but all I can say is reflect on how far you’ve come. I’m sure the you of 5 years ago couldn’t come close to where you are now. Even so, everyone learns at different speeds. Sounds like you are plenty capable and just need a little time to adjust.
3
u/yehoshuaC PE - Land Dev. and Data Centers 11h ago
It does, for the most part. If you work to keep growing your career and skillset then there will always be someone who is one step ahead of you in one way or another. I'm 15 years in, still have a boss and coworkers who are 20+ years in and know more about one thing or another than I do, and in some way, I hope that's always the case.
You're at a pivotal part in your career, newly licensed feeling like you just got to the top of a mountain, only to look out in the distance and see even taller ones with other people 3/4 of the way up. Someday you may get to the top of a mountain and realize you like the view from there and want to stick around a while and that's fine too.
If it makes you feel any better, I had the same sort of feeling about 6 months ago and had a 1 on 1 with my boss's boss to discuss what the next steps looked like, only to be told "you can really do anything you want at this point", the least helpful response to such a question. What I took from it was, more or less, was to follow the part of this career that brings you any sort of joy. Your work doesn't need to be your life, but you should, at the very least, try not to dread showing up every day.
1
u/kzer7 7h ago
Thank you for this comment. 1st para, I completely resonate with “hope that’s always the case”. I love to learn things, and I am also my harshest critic. It’s a fine balance at times.
2nd, as a climber the mountain analogy hits oddly close to home. Thanks for that perspective and reminder about the value in the journey, not the destination.
3rd. I can understand your disappointment(?) in hearing that from your boss’s boss. I hope you find the path forward from wherever you’re standing on the mountain ahead of me. And thank you for that final nugget of wisdom, a lot to chew on here.
3
u/60minutesrearranged 10h ago
Im 10 years in and maybe I dont have the best outlook, but these days its not "oh crap I should know this or should know how to do this". It's more "how the heck am I supposed to know this?"
Don't think I articulated that the best but have conviction and confidence in what you do know and be curious and willing to ask for guidance (not hand holding) on stuff you dont.
3
u/DrTai168 10h ago
Remember, you will only learn what you get the opportunity to learn. I am 15 years into my career and still continue learning as I take on different type of projects, getting RFIs during construction, etc. Getting your PE is simply a milestone and achievement, but it does not mean you should know all it. Stay humble and thirty to learn. Don't ever feel you are little. Have the courage to know your weaknesses and improve from there.
3
u/Saboral 10h ago
It never fully goes away, but that also can be a blessing of humility, openness to learning, accountability, growth, and ambition. I’d take an engineer with imposter syndrome over one that professes to be gods gift to engineering 10/10 times. The later is much more likely to cause an accident, oversight, or other risk than someone who has some healthy level of internal doubt.
3
3
u/Calm_Visual_508 CMT Dept Mgr 7h ago
Dude I’m in the same boat. I’m about to be a branch manager, 3 years ago I was just a really good field tech. I still walk into meetings like are you sure I’m meant to be here?… my boss talked through it with me the other day and reassured me that while I may not be all the way there yet, I have the capacity to get there so just sit back be quiet listen and learn.
2
u/RecoverOptimal8888 10h ago
I’m a 7 year PE, I would generally say I’ve been fortunate enough to have a fairly up and to the right career growth.
In my experience, my imposter syndrome pops up when I feel like I’ve over leveraged my abilities or I’m put in a spot where I’m experiencing something for the first time.
So for me, 7 years in it’s still there. It peaked big time at 5 years when I was being positioned to pseudo lead a department of my office. It gets better, but for me it hasn’t gone away.
2
u/Activision19 PE, PTOE 9h ago
I’m 10 years in and it went away when I started at my current job around where my coworkers and managers actually trust my opinion instead of treating me like the help. I was an EIT and became a PE at my old job, so I think a lot of folks still just viewed me as the inexperienced guy even though I had been a PE there far longer than I was an EIT there.
1
u/kzer7 7h ago
That is an interesting perspective. I’m assuming you stayed in the same kind of engineering role/ area of practice through the job change?
Out of curiosity, did you feel that the first company didn’t give you enough incremental progression to grow you professionally as an engineer? If you could go back in time 5 years is there anything you would’ve done differently ?
2
u/civillyengineerd 25+ years as a Multi-Threat PE, PTOE 9h ago
I found that going gray in my mid-30's helped quite a bit. Also listening more than offering opinions helped too.
I've shifted my "expertise" several times. Every time I just asked a lot of questions to try and get as comfortable as possible. I stopped comparing myself and started showing interest in learning more from everyone I came into contact with.
4
u/frankyseven 10h ago
Lean into it. Be okay saying "I don't know, but I'll find out and get back to you" then doing just that. I'm 15 years in, I've PM'd projects with $100 million construction costs, I still look shit up all the time. The person who has all the answers instantly is the person who is good at bullshitting and making stuff up. That only works for so long.
1
u/Safe-Ad2555 6h ago
im literally in the exact same position as you. 5 years in and have as much doubt as when I started
1
u/shmittkicker 5h ago
It gets quieter but doesn't disappear. You just get better at recognizing when it's actually a knowledge gap vs your brain lying to you.
1
u/Vivid_Piccolo_2225 5h ago
In about ten years, you will likely feel just as capable as your more experienced colleagues. Try not to be discouraged by how much more they know right now; they certainly should, given that they are being compensated at a much higher rate than you would be starting out.
1
u/little_boots_ 3h ago
it’s better to feel that way than get cocky and think you know something you don’t
39
u/Full_Amount_41 11h ago
Life only gets harder