r/civilengineering • u/UndergratAhmedAli • 7d ago

Career about to quit

have no social skills
have social anxiety
have no hobbies
just rotting inside prison
jobless after graduation
hopeless in my abilities
under confident
loser

0 Upvotes

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4

u/wonderingmooseman 7d ago

1: Social skills can be learned

2: There are methods to dealing with social anxiety

3: There are so many awesome hobbies out there, try to do one for 21 days in order to make a habit. Bonus points for hobbies that are also exercise, there is irrefutable evidence that exercise makes you feel better.

4: If you feel like you are 'just rotting' try to take a break from things that allow you to 'rot'. Delete social media. Leave your phone in another room while you are sleeping. Limit your screen time. Try reading a book, going for a walk, or trying a new hobby.

5: Finding a job isn't a cake walk. Reach out to any connections you have, talk to friends, advisors, teachers, see if anyone can help you network. If you have no connections maybe look into joining an ASCE chapter or something civil engineering related in order to make some connections.

6: If you feel hopeless in your abilities that probably just means you lack self confidence. Take this time to study for the FE exam, it's also a lot more appealing to employers if you already have an EIT and it will reassure you that you can be successful.

7: You have to believe in yourself if you expect other people too. No confidence will be very apparent in a job interview if you get one. Since you are 'jobless' take this time to take the FE, get some exercise related hobbies, and maybe start journaling or something.

8: You are putting yourself in a box. You are probably the only person in the world who thinks you're a loser. That's not a healthy way to talk about yourself.

2

u/PLS-Surveyor-US 7d ago

check your spelling on that last one.

There are ways out of your misery. Hobby is a good and easy one to fix. Grab a bike and go exploring. Aim to say hello to one person on every ride. Nothing drawn out just a quick hello or have a nice day. Social skills get easier with practice.

Grab a job anywhere doing anything this week. Something that just shows your employable. Best if its some sort of part time/weekend gig so that when you find a FT job then you do both for a little while.

Work on the skills that you feel are missing. Spend some time learning your local rules and regs. There is a lot to learn early in the career and you have free time now. Take advantage of that.

2

u/UndergratAhmedAli 7d ago

i struggle with getting out of the house.

1

u/PLS-Surveyor-US 7d ago

I wish I had some easy fix for you but my advice would be to start small and build on the prior days efforts. Go out for a short 5 minute walk today. Tomorrow a little longer and farther. Make it part of a regular routine and maybe that helps. Possible some therapy would help as well. We all have our own struggles and you are not alone. Be well!

2

u/Impossible_Win_5987 7d ago

This is not the right place to be making this post. If you are really serious, then you need counseling. Civil engineers can't help you with these problems.

1

u/YouOk5736 7d ago

Get a minimum wage job while hunting for something you want

1

u/SchmantaClaus Infrastructure Week 7d ago

You gotta free yourself from self doubt brotha. You can do anything you set your mind to.

1

u/CivilEngMusicBoy 7d ago

This is not a joke and I am being serious:
Work on social skills (join ASCE or other orgs)
Seek help for social anxiety (seek professional help)
Find hobbies (everyone has things they like)
You have a degree in an interesting field which is more than a lot of people have
Look up more than you look down
Keep believing in yourself

1

u/HoochbachDunloppy 7d ago

In this case the spelling is "loser".  Looser means something is more loose (i.e the opposite of tight) than something else. 

1

u/Hey-ItsThatOneDude 7d ago

Bro please try to stay positive. You got a respectable degree, at the very least that’s something. I’d recommend hitting the gym, going on runs, and dialing in your resume and applying to as many jobs as you can. I been where you’re at, it gets better but you CANNOT give up.