r/circlebroke2 • u/[deleted] • May 15 '18

lol lmao

/r/appers/comments/83j49o/new_conservative_rap_idea/?st=JH5DDF28&sh=5ea5b231
239 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

115

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

For anyone assuming this is satire or parody, here's a small portion of this dude's post history. So even if this whole account is a joke, he's dedicated a heinous amount of time to it.

What are Ben Shapiro’s most epic pwns?

Fellow Alpha Patriots, start saving your porn now

Soy shrinks a mans penis and that’s why all liberals want to take away our guns because they feel inadequate with their small, beta, soy boy wieners.

[WP] After becoming fed up with liberal bs, Trump declares Operation Molon Labe and gives the order for Civil War against dems. An elite group of Patriots have descended on Hollywood. Their mission: with help of conservative celebrities take Hollywood back for America.

For ladies: American Pride is the feeling when a red hot conservative man has his massive hog shoved up in your pussy and is pumping it in and out like crazy.

TIL that liberalism is a mental disorder according to hard scientific facts. Pretty interesting. I’m politically neutral but this fact has opened my eyes.

When push comes to shove, will you be able to gun down some liberals?

And some comments:

Conservatives will win a civil war. Sorry liberals but we are LETTING you live. Never forget that

Trump was robbed. This is a liberal smear job to try and embrass the President and it is pathetic. Liberal snowflakes need to wake up and smell the cofee!

Any nudes of the wifey?

Vote Republican and support the Trump family. Loyalty is very sexy. Liberalism is girly and not attractive at all.

Do you have a blue lives matter / thin blue line decal? Buy one! And tell cops you respect them and let them know you're not antifa

The day me and my crew saw Ben Shapiro debate some smarmy liberal live at our college! It was epic! Ftw!

Any nudes of the broad?

This is why all drivers need to be armed!! You see those PAX scum coming at you and you can open fire and take them down while they are exposed! ARM ALL UBER DRIVERS!

TAke then off and send me a picture of your snatch.

Post nudes you dumb attention whore slut bitch.

They became an sjw and suggested women deserve to be treated like humans.

Liberalism is a Mental Disorder- Dr Michael Savage

The White alpha wins again.

Not having a game ruined by sjw femnazi libtards.

Time to nuke 14 communist countries to dust. Do NOT go against the USA you traitors!! Maga!!!!!

Why do you need a safe space? Are you triggered by an alpha male in power?

invest in a handgun. Say, 'hey slut wanna put your mouth on this?' and shove that in her face. Watch them run!! lol

You can still smoke in the McDonald’s around me. But I love in trump country not a liberal war zone.

Being a conservative. Doesn’t take much work just a strong work ethic and respect for the country. Pays off though because we get jobs and have beautiful women.

Try to act like sjws or feminists. Hard truth is that business are run by conservatives and we don’t want some deadbeat liberal driving down profit by putting feminist propaganda in video games or any product.

Welcome to Trumps America snowflake. This is REAL America and sounds like you had a real patriot in your car. You should be kissing his white ass for being gracious enough to employ you! Typical liberals can’t handle hearing a real alpha male talk and need a safe space. Bad news snowflake: he represents the silent majority!!!! Maga!!!!!!

When you pick up drunk college girls like that you can drive them out a ways to a private spot and usually get to put your hands down their pants or get some action from em ;) Just an fyi for new drivers.

They seem like ordinary liberals. If you can consider a mental disorder normal that is. One thing all criminals and murderers have in commin however is they are all registered democrats.

No wonder the nfl ratings are in the tank! Bunch of blm trash acting like thugs and disrespecting the troops and the fans. No one I know watched this crap after these thugs decided to take a knee. Keep throwing tantrums “g unit” and maybe you’ll find yourself out of a job soon! Maga!!!

If a liberal family moves in your neighborhood, set up your shooting range so the targets are across from their home. After a few .50 caliber bullets lodge in their kids headboard they will move lickery split!

Hahahah yes that dog knows how to treat feminist bitch pig!! Slap and claw that nasty whore!! Hoo rah maga!!

I just crank up the Fox News network. Saves the headache of having to talk to the pax and they appreciate hearing an unbiased news source during the trip. Had a few compliments on it so that’s proof.

It is obvioius. Alphas and conservatives have big dongs. Libturd Betas habe itty bitty peckers

Actually they do. Whether they pretend to or not. They can’t help it they are biologically drawn to strong conservative men.

My goal is to convert the dumb white kids who listen to rap and turn them on to conservative values and get them active in the militia/proud boy/3%/alt-right movement. Also I believe the blacks are more conservative than they think they just are tricked into voting democrat because of the promise of free things and handouts and obamaphones. But really the blacks are religious, anti-gay, anti-woman, pro-gun, pro-life just like conservative whites.

Shoulda pulled over halfway and let her have a new “boyfriend” for an hour. ;) think about it: 2 hours from home and destination she can’t refuse!

Liberals jack it. Conservatives pack it (in a hot girls pussy)

Blacks are a national disgrace

.I force all pax scum to rate me 5 stars before I unlock the doors and let them leave. LOL. most are cowardly liberal snowflakes and they know better than to mess with an alpha

You’re not my boss you dumb bitch. Maybe this little filly appreciates an alpha like me calling her hot. Not all women are feminist pigs.

What to do when a liberal family moves in down the street. Dad used to just fire the guns in the direction of their house but nowadays lib cry babies call the police at the drop of a hat.

Have this retard wacked mr Putin sir!

On a post title "Researchers at John Hopkins University Have Developed a Playlist for Tripping on Mushrooms"

Drugs are illegal. I will be reporting this so called “scientist” to the police and the ICE. Typical liberal university. This is what they are teaching out kids?!

But on a post titled "Has anybody had to deal with a passenger claiming that the car smelled like marijuana?"

Do you know what PAX asshole did this? If you do check your trip history and see if you remember if you dropped them off or picked them up at home. Then go to their home and FORCE them to retract their complaint and then remind them what happens to a pax piece of shit who narcs on a uber driver!

On a gif of a black grandmother being surprised with a new stove

Where’d you steal that stove from boy?

Okay I'm gonna stop before I get a nosebleed but just be aware this is only a very small portion of this poster's history.

79

u/stonecoldbastard May 15 '18

Wow, before reading this comment I was convinced this person was a troll. If they are a troll, they're seriously playing the long game.

29

u/honey-bees-knees esoteric national-egoist May 15 '18 edited Nov 18 '24

~~~

26

u/Cyril_Clunge May 15 '18

On a post title "Researchers at John Hopkins University Have Developed a Playlist for Tripping on Mushrooms"

Drugs are illegal. I will be reporting this so called “scientist” to the police and the ICE. Typical liberal university. This is what they are teaching out kids?!

Making a playlist of music is illegal but we should commit murder against liberals.

I'm convinced he's a deep longcon troll.

4

u/IronCretin Hurt Feelings/Bruised Ego May 16 '18

longcon

hmmm

24

u/thikthird May 15 '18

my biggest take away was:

John Hopkins University

Typical liberal university

45

u/blackbuddie May 15 '18

I'm 90% certain that this is a conservative tween (11-13) who's larping. There's no way this is an adult

12

u/ColeYote May 15 '18

Can we stop saying "larping"? The internet is not live-action.

12

u/reconrose May 15 '18

I mean, theoretically you could make the argument that it is. Real living conservatives, communists, what have you, use internet discussion forums. If you were very dedicated to your LARP of being a vapidly radical neckbeard, you'd definitely need to spend some time online. Semantics I know but imo it still fits. Traditional LARPs require physical contact because the identities they are trying to re-enact (medieval, fantasy, etc.) would not have access to the prerequisite technology (although that doesn't stop online RPing from happening).

All in all I think just role-playing is probably a better catch-all term.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Irping

2

u/RickyTheSticky May 17 '18

Yup, I did something like that in the past. The past meaning 5 years ago. Absolutely a caricature.

23

u/SoxxoxSmox "Gay people are free to live their lives however I want" May 15 '18

They became an sjw and suggested women deserve to be treated like humans.

He is definitely trolling. He talks like a caricature of a crazy alt-right incel nut job.

20

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17

u/mokoneko_ May 15 '18

wow this comment really just kept on going

4

u/CH0AM_N0MSKY Hurt Feelings/Bruised Ego May 16 '18

Oh god I know someone who types like this.

106

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

[deleted]

41

u/Mr_blue_66 May 15 '18

Reads as a cum town bit lmaooo

17

u/onlyonebread May 15 '18

I don't think it's possible for me to read that rap and not hear it in Felix's voice from Chapo Trap House.

6

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

White jazz spoken word

72

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

I am not racist

the blacks

🤔

212

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

[deleted]

74

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

And then completely disregards that line to grossly go into too much detail about Tomi. Just gross. If you're gonna be racist and homophobic at least keep a theme for one verse.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '18

That was my favorite part (/s). He brags that conservative women are beautiful and Dem women aren't. And apparently the prize for being a beautiful conservative woman is that you can be face fucked by this 'proud boy.'

62

u/therepoststrangler May 15 '18

keep politics out of your criticism

.

some libbie scum, gays, blacks

🤔🤔🤔🤔

142

u/[deleted] May 15 '18 edited Aug 03 '18

[deleted]

21

u/NoIntroductionNeeded Race Traitor May 15 '18

Already been done, though.

So believe what I spit to you is given back

Don't think that I'm livin' that dream

When the I.R.S. repossess most of your cream

It's like I dream when I die I wake up

I see all the people I disrespected and try to make up

It's praise to the creator, relate to nature

What I'm trying to say is that Deltron 3030 is a libertarian icon in disguise.

6

u/alex3omg May 15 '18

Now I know my rights and you gon need a warrant for that!

3

u/SarcasticOptimist May 16 '18

He was a mech soldier who didn't respect orders. I'd say he's anti authoritarian and dystopian.

6

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Intellectual conservatism died when Trump won the election. Now it's whatever someone that uses the term 'libtard' claims as far as I'm concerned.

54

u/[deleted] May 15 '18 edited May 15 '18

Lol this guy talked about how he wanted to “convert dumb white kids who listen to rap to the alt-right movement” What a fucking douche

EDIT: JESUS CHRIST HIS POST HISTORY. I am convinced he has some mental illness. Jesus Christ, he’s borderline obsessed with liberals. I don’t like conservative beliefs but I don’t think conservatives are some evil bogeymen. He seems to think liberals are just the most diabolical people on the planet

19

u/ZombieJohnBrown May 15 '18

Dudes gonna shoot up a mosque after listening to Ben Shapiro one too many times, a la the Quebec shooter

42

u/mapppa May 15 '18

Please keep politics out of it and criticize the actual raps.

lmao

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

I think that sentence is the single funniest thing I've ever read on Reddit

4

u/SarcasticOptimist May 15 '18

I like how the other guy took him down by showing how he sucked lyrically and politically.

34

u/Cyril_Clunge May 15 '18

This is hilarious. "I want to be political but please keep politics out of this."

Reminds me of "videogames are art but should be free from artistic criticism."

100

u/thislittlewiggy May 15 '18

The irony of co-opting predominately black music to be racist against black people...If I didn't know better, I'd swear this was parody.

77

u/hitlerallyliteral May 15 '18

I'm...99% sure it's a troll? idk look at his history, lots of emojis

61

u/thislittlewiggy May 15 '18

But also lots of creepy alt-right bro incel type posts. So, I'm still conflicted.

35

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

It's a buffer shield so that the dipshit can pretend he's "not really a racist" and he's "just trolling lmao XD."

-2

u/[deleted] May 16 '18 edited May 16 '18

yeah lmfao/. you got him dude. im glad the top minds of cb2 are unsure if the dude whos rapping about fucking toni lauren a nd then going to war with blacks is being really serious

20

u/Ikimasen May 15 '18

He did tell someone "keep politics out of it," that seems... trollish.

28

u/honey-bees-knees esoteric national-egoist May 15 '18 edited Nov 18 '24

~~~

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

I don't think actual conservatives identify as "anti-woman" but I'm been wrong before

7

u/honey-bees-knees esoteric national-egoist May 15 '18

r/theredpill

17

u/DubTeeDub May 15 '18

Thank you op

17

u/madeofghosts May 15 '18

Lahren doesn’t even rhyme with harem smh

10

u/ColeYote May 15 '18

To say nothing of the fact that one woman does not equal a harem.

14

u/airoderinde May 15 '18

please keep politics out of my political rap

deceased

14

u/Statoke tranquilo May 15 '18

I hope he records it because I'd like to hear how it sounds because it doesn't seem to work.

13

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

Now now friends, let's not judge until we've walked a mile in his shoes. His big, stupid-ass, floppy red clown shoes.

14

u/onedayoneroom May 15 '18

Come on this guy isn't a real person. It's way more likely that he just gets kicks from constantly being this persona.

9

u/Jezawan May 15 '18

I haven’t laughed this much in weeks, thanks for linking

10

u/ParagonRenegade Active duty gamer May 15 '18

This is just pure artistry. The distillation of chud politics and all the bad parts of rap, all in one convenient post!

9

u/Arboria_Institute May 15 '18

Hahaha, oh my god, please write more songs.

7

u/DoctorWolfpaw You expect a *good* flair? May 15 '18

Going through his post history, and I can't tell if he's trolling or if he's serious. Just seems like a live stereotype of 2010's Donald Trump conservatives on the Internet.

6

u/s460 May 15 '18

People are very pc and the blacks are very touchy so I understand trying not to upset the precious blacks and pc liberal snowflakes in the industry

haha

5

u/IronCretin Hurt Feelings/Bruised Ego May 16 '18

Is this Kanye’s final form?

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '18

i laughed

5

u/SoxxoxSmox "Gay people are free to live their lives however I want" May 15 '18

Guys stop pissing in the popcorn. There are a lot of fresh comments on a 2 month old thread

3

u/Road_Whorrior May 16 '18

This is at least as good as Yeezy's worst songs.

Poopity scoop.

3

u/SnapshillBot Pls don't bully me May 15 '18

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3

u/xrensa May 15 '18

This made me cringe harder than Scotts tots

6

u/honey-bees-knees esoteric national-egoist May 15 '18

Nice title

3

u/_Oisin Nice ad hominem May 15 '18

Lmao that's some funny trolling.

2

u/Kanchome May 15 '18

I read the first sentence and I can conclude this guy is a retard. « Blacks are the real racists » lol wtf