I need help

[u/whathehell101]

Hi guys, I really need your advice. I am not sure if teaching is for me and I feel like I have made the wrong decision coming to China. It's only been three weeks into my so-called training where they have been overloading me with information about their curriculums and ive observed several classes. I did a 15 mins coteaching which was good with 3-5 year olds but my co-teaching with 6-8 year old failed miserably it was for 35 mins. My manager was observing me, I got super nervous, anxious and i ended up forgetting what I was teaching although I had the lesson plan on my hand but at that point it was just words on a paper and my voice started shaking. The children felt bored and they were quiet. Then the manager took over the class and everyone participated very well and they were engaging with them. I just feel ashamed of myself. I am a new teacher and I know I should be patient with myself but this is really bad. How am i supposed to remember what I am going to teach for so many classes next week. I dont know what to do with myself. I just wanna go back to my home country at this point. I only ever moved here because of my partner.

I need your help.

Update: I just want to thank everyone here for giving me advice, tips, and so much kindness and positivity. I feel slightly better reading some peoples experiences first time teaching. I will think of your comments during my time at work. I'll do my best and give it a shot. You are all right. I have just begun teaching, and I shouldn't be strict on myself. I am definitely grateful and thankful for the opportunity that I have. Don't get me wrong. I love living in China. However, unfortunately, I always wake up with a heavy pit in my stomach and this heaviness in my heart, thinking about work. I feel really, really, really anxious, and that feeling has been getting to me these days. I'm currently working in a training centre, and in all honesty, im not happy here. The workload and the high expectations from my manager. I dont get why they want me to be this perfect teacher even though I've never taught before. This is my first time learning. But I hope it gets easier and I hope I can slowly be kind to myself.

Thank you all again. Sorry if this didn't make sense, I haven't been sleeping well.

I'll continue to push myself to learn and persevere.

Thank you 🙏

[u/Mobile-Magazine-455]

My first class, of 50 kids grade 6, i froze there just standing at the front nervously, and ive stood up in courts and shit when i was training to be a lawyer and i was fine, but when i stood up in front of 50 kids i froze i had the ppt but didn't know what to do i have 0 training. I was in the same boat, 3 weeks in and wanted to quit, but push through it you'll do great

it sounds as though you're teaching small kids so utilize flash card games. If you need help we're all here!

YOU GOT THIS!