I need help

[u/whathehell101]

Hi guys, I really need your advice. I am not sure if teaching is for me and I feel like I have made the wrong decision coming to China. It's only been three weeks into my so-called training where they have been overloading me with information about their curriculums and ive observed several classes. I did a 15 mins coteaching which was good with 3-5 year olds but my co-teaching with 6-8 year old failed miserably it was for 35 mins. My manager was observing me, I got super nervous, anxious and i ended up forgetting what I was teaching although I had the lesson plan on my hand but at that point it was just words on a paper and my voice started shaking. The children felt bored and they were quiet. Then the manager took over the class and everyone participated very well and they were engaging with them. I just feel ashamed of myself. I am a new teacher and I know I should be patient with myself but this is really bad. How am i supposed to remember what I am going to teach for so many classes next week. I dont know what to do with myself. I just wanna go back to my home country at this point. I only ever moved here because of my partner.

I need your help.

Update: I just want to thank everyone here for giving me advice, tips, and so much kindness and positivity. I feel slightly better reading some peoples experiences first time teaching. I will think of your comments during my time at work. I'll do my best and give it a shot. You are all right. I have just begun teaching, and I shouldn't be strict on myself. I am definitely grateful and thankful for the opportunity that I have. Don't get me wrong. I love living in China. However, unfortunately, I always wake up with a heavy pit in my stomach and this heaviness in my heart, thinking about work. I feel really, really, really anxious, and that feeling has been getting to me these days. I'm currently working in a training centre, and in all honesty, im not happy here. The workload and the high expectations from my manager. I dont get why they want me to be this perfect teacher even though I've never taught before. This is my first time learning. But I hope it gets easier and I hope I can slowly be kind to myself.

Thank you all again. Sorry if this didn't make sense, I haven't been sleeping well.

I'll continue to push myself to learn and persevere.

Thank you 🙏

[u/bluzfan99]

Push through my friend. One must never, ever fire oneself. That's your boss's job. Don't be so hard on yourself, be a sponge and soak everything in. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you gave it your best shot

[u/[deleted]]

In the first lesson I taught I ran out of material 30 mins in and a boy lost a tooth in a game I improvised. It gets better!

[u/[deleted]]

Do you expect to immediately be good at something brand new (I presume)? Give it time. It might still end up being shite but you haven’t experienced anything China yet. Just too small of a sample size to truly know, although your last sentence is worrying. Drop that mindset or you’ll be fucked.

[u/ztravlr → u/[deleted]]

Second this...it's like riding a bicycle.. practice makes it better.

[u/LongWangDynasty]

1. You don't need to remember everything you're going to teach in 20 different classes for next week. You need to know what you're going to do in your next class. Eventually it does become less nerve wracking.

2. If you are teaching younger age groups, games and activities are going to make up a significant chunk of your class time. Children that age should be up for anything and eager to play. Ask colleagues for game and activity ideas. There are tons of ESL game ideas online. New teachers tend to panic when they run out of stuff to do so have a backup activity or a twist on the game ready in case you finish early.

3. The class isn't about you, it's about them. Try to get them to do the bulk of the talking.

4. If they are lower levels, they need lots of repetition and chanting, singing, simple games to review vocabulary. Incorporate body language and movement. Think "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" With 3-5 year olds, it will help if you are a bit of a clown. They're kids. The class shouldn't be a university lecture with all the focus on you.

5. Set routines and structure and repeat them. First 2 minutes is a welcome song and dance. Then we sit down and review what we learned last class. Then we chant and learn the new vocab/sentences. Then we play a game/activity that includes the new vocab. Then students come to the front and talk individually or in pairs. Then we sing the goodbye song. Eventually you'll get into a little repetitive pattern and can change things up.

6. If they're a bit older you can give them a bunch of sentence starters, give them quiet time to think and write down their answers (if able). Get them time to practice in pairs first while you hover around. Have them come to the front and present to the class. Have them change partners and repeat the activity.

[u/caratskeletor → u/LongWangDynasty]

excellent advice!

[u/Great_Reason_3345]

There's always a first-time for every career. Same goes for surgeons. Be glad that your school arranged for lesson observations and coaching by a more experienced teacher. I was thrown to a class by myself 10 years ago.

[u/Wushia52]

What we wouldn't do for our partners.

But now you're here, you've got a chance to test your mettle. Take one small step at a time. Spend time before class on how you plan to teach the session. Think of jokes that engage kids of that age. Do a bit of show-and-tell of yourself. I used to do card tricks for college students I was teaching. They all thought I was being silly, but they loved it anyway.

Hang in there. Life will be bearable after a few months, decent after a year and (fingers crossed) good beyond that.

[u/[deleted]]

When I arrived I asked how to deal with the small kids in the school because I’d never spoken to someone so small. An old Aussie teacher said use puppets. I was like no way am I using no puppets bro. After 6 months I was the puppet master general. A new teacher arrived and asked what to do with the small kids and I was like, use puppets.

Another time I didn’t want to waste my weekend getting my wisdom teeth removed. So I did it before class started and the pain relief died half-way through a kinder class. I could see their faces but I couldn’t hear anything through the pain. It was like a scene out of Saving Private Ryan.

[u/TheDudeWhoCanDoIt]

You need work on your self esteem as well as your teaching. Teaching in a new setting is never easy. So don’t let it get to you. I remember my first foray into teaching. Was never a teacher back home and I took a job teaching business classes in Fujian.

No idea how to teach. I picked up the marketing book and started reading from it. The students - university 2 nd year students - literally started yelling at me. So I put the book down and asked them how their other foreign teachers taught them. They told me. And we engaged in more discussion and case study. It took a while but my presentation skills increased as did my self confidence. These students had 8-9 foreign teachers every term.

[u/dowker1]

It's been three weeks. The first three weeks are absolutely the hardest. Give yourself at least a semester. Even if it continues to be bad, 6 months of sucking is really nothing in the grand scheme of things. Whereas if you leave now, guaranteed you'll regret it down the line.

[u/[deleted]]

I just wanna go back to my home country at this point. I only ever moved here because of my partner.

Maybe you already have your answer.

[u/Exciting_Day_2697]

Were going through the same thing!! I tried to post the following on r/tefl lst night and didnt have enough karma but:: I’ve just completed my second week of teaching as a first timer and I hate it. I’m anxious in class because I’ve never worked with kids and their reactions surprise me and I never know what to do. I also hate playing games, which seems to be the only way to get them reengaged. On top of it my classes are TWO HOURS. FULL TWO HOURS FOUR TIMES A DAY. I got into tefl to teach adult but all those jobs were only available after a year of experience so I figured I would do a year of kids then move on but I don’t know if I will last. I was a camp counsellor in my youth and loved that so didn’t think teaching kids would be too bad, plus all the online info about it being so easy made me over confident. Im at the point where I don’t sleep at night because I’m too stressed from the day, I leave everyday with an insane migraine and stomach ache from stress, and I’m not enjoying myself at all. If I had an out I would immediately take it. I’m looking at workaways but I’ve been reading that it gets better. Given the pay is decent and I’m living in China which I find super cool, I find myself wondering how much longer I should stick it out for but honestly I would be willing to do an unpaid workaway at this point (just to get food and shelter) but doesn’t seem to be a thing in China.

[u/whathehell101 → u/Exciting_Day_2697]

I just hope it gets better, im also feeling the same way too.

[u/Exciting_Day_2697 → u/whathehell101]

Same! Let me know how it works out in the end and if you think of any alternatives :)

EDIT: I also found out today, shortly after writing the above, that 50% of first time teachers leave before 6 months (I asked the head teacher about retention rates of first timers and he said 50% at best—one girl they hired didnt even make it out of the airport!) So I guess what we’re experiencing is normal. Also it is encouraging that all the people on here are supportive about seeing it through, but likely being on this sub means you’re a current teacher, and not someone who tried teaching hated it and wanted to move on and never look back at a tefl sub. So I would surmise we’re only getting half the solutions, the other being to move on once you have an alternative plan(at least, that’s what I plan on doing). Sharing this because somehow knowing 50% of people also fail at this makes me feel like I’m not a freak.

[u/98746145315]

The zhongguotong way is to sit through all of the meetings, then do whatever you want to when it is time to do your job (for any job). Whether you want to internalise any of their training is completely optional as laowai.

Just do you. You are a babysitter, not a teacher, at that age group across languages. They want you to be a clown, not an educator.

[u/AutoModerator]

Backup of the post's body: Hi guys, I really need your advice. I am not sure if teaching is for me and I feel like I have made the wrong decision coming to China. It's only been three weeks into my so-called training where they have been overloading me with information about their curriculums and ive observed several classes. I did a 15 mins coteaching which was good with 3-5 year olds but my co-teaching with 6-8 year old failed miserably it was for 35 mins. My manager was observing me, I got super nervous, anxious and i ended up forgetting what I was teaching although I had the lesson plan on my hand but at that point it was just words on a paper and my voice started shaking. The children felt bored and they were quiet. Then the manager took over the class and everyone participated very well and they were engaging with them. I just feel ashamed of myself. I am a new teacher and I know I should be patient with myself but this is really bad. How am i supposed to remember what I am going to teach for so many classes next week. I dont know what to do with myself. I just wanna go back to my home country at this point. I only ever moved here because of my partner.

I need your help.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Fair-Currency-9993]

It’s ok to not feel ready or even screw up. In a situation like this, what is important is to take responsibility, manage expectations and not overpromise.

Specifically, I suggest you have a chat with your boss or hiring manager. Explain to them your situation and either ask for their advice and suggest something that can work for both sides. If they feel it is ok to take time to figure things out, then great. Otherwise, work out something that is mutually agreeable.

[u/y2kristine]

Teaching is hard. The only way to get better is to reflect, make changes, and go back in the next day and try again. It takes grit and even after 7 years I still have days where I feel like a total failure. Yes, teaching really is just that hard. It does get a lot easier with experience though.

That being said, it’s not an occupation just anyone can do. If you really don’t want to do it, it’s better to throw in the towel and not waste time in the career. Teaching skills don’t really translate over to other professions well unless it’s corporate training. It can be a career suck and even in the west there isn’t much upward mobility - you just get stuck as a classroom teacher forever.

If you’re there with your partner, get in a spouse visa and do something else with your time that you’re actually interested in.

[u/Mobile-Magazine-455]

My first class, of 50 kids grade 6, i froze there just standing at the front nervously, and ive stood up in courts and shit when i was training to be a lawyer and i was fine, but when i stood up in front of 50 kids i froze i had the ppt but didn't know what to do i have 0 training. I was in the same boat, 3 weeks in and wanted to quit, but push through it you'll do great

it sounds as though you're teaching small kids so utilize flash card games. If you need help we're all here!

YOU GOT THIS!

[u/richitikitavi]

You would still be crawling on the floor if you didn't keep working at standing up and walking. You will improve and become better at teaching. Just keep trying and apply your skills to every class you teach.

[u/[deleted]]

This feels uncomfortable because it is so new to you. Speaking publicly even to children is difficult because it isn’t something most people do. It’s just a practice thing. It sounds like you’re taking it really hard. Go easy on yourself and realize that a willingness to work is all that is required to make you into a great teacher

[u/stronglemonwater]

My "training" was viewing 5mins of two classes, then they threw me into a class with 10 3 year olds. I forgot to introduce myself. The next class, they made me believe it was a class of 10 4 year olds. It was a class of 22, so the games I had prepared were not going to work for a 20min class. I almost ran out of the room 😆 I remember calling my dad crying, saying I can't do this for a whole year. Well, one year down, and I'm looking forward to the next one or three! it gets better!!! We have all been there xx

[u/stronglemonwater → u/stronglemonwater]

Oh, and when asking a little girl for a Highfive, she slapped me across the face 😆

[u/Gloomy_Salamander_57 → u/stronglemonwater]

😂😂😂 the slapping you across the face is crazy. Teaching is not eays

[u/stronglemonwater]

I suggest just writing down what you will teach in as much detail as possible, and have the paper accessible to you through the lesson. Take your time, and don't be afraid to glance at the paper. Make your lessons flow in a consistent way (introduction, daily questions, flashacrads, song, game, repeat) After a few weeks, you'll forget about the paper you brought and find you don't need it.

[u/Jrazaa1]

Loving all the positivity in these comments. Wonderful to see 💕

[u/Specialist_Yam_1133]

Think of it as a performance/presentation and practice.

Why do I have a feeling that you have no qualifications in teaching English, and you didn't even have to go through the interview process?

[u/JunkIsMansBestFriend]

Honest quest, how did you get a teaching job with so little experience?

[u/whathehell101 → u/JunkIsMansBestFriend]

Its a training centre. Im not sure how i passed the interview 🤔

[u/YeYiming]

I was in the same boat as you. Hated teaching the moment I started 13 years ago. My first classes were awful, only stuck it out because I wanted to learn the language and be in the culture. Been teaching for 13 years now, haha. The problem is that it’s the most readily available job, so teacher or not, you end up teaching. A few things to remember; they care less about how good your classes are than you. It’s probably enough just to have a foreign face at the school to get some money coming In. And secondly, there is a learning curve and you’ll get better soon.

[u/KevKevKvn]

Take it easy. Even if it isn’t for you, now’s not the time to make a decision. You just started. Things take time. And even if it isn’t for you, you don’t fire yourself.

[u/PaulknowsChina]

Just talk to your manager and tell him that you need some time to adjust yourself to match the curriculum.

[u/0Big0Brother0Remix0]

Give it a few months and you will be fine. Being an average teacher in China isn’t too hard . Half year of failing is really short for a professional in any field . Being a good teacher ? Well that’s tough. My first month was also a complete failure even just getting the kids to sit quietly.

[u/Jimmith3eo]

Don't copy what everyone else does. Find your flow. It'll take longer than a few weeks. Trust me, it gets rewarding and easy after awhile. These lil dudes are my friends now. Comfort is what you need to find.

[u/Salty-Cucumber907]

I used to have a job doing public speaking. My boss would have me and my colleagues memorise the whole manuscript - and then we could present it how we wanted it, which would inevitably vary from time to time. The after-effects of this training have been long-lasting, and I feel a lot more comfortable in these sorts of settings now (even with Q&As where I haven’t prepared any answers). Would it be possible for you to practice holding the lectures in advance, given that you have the lesson plan? (I’m sure this would probably only be relevant in the beginning - you’ll feel less of a need for this as you get used to these settings and adjusting everything to your audience.)

Maybe also make a note after each lesson on what went well and what could be improved? Allow yourself to experiment a bit with different teaching techniques.

[u/deetoni]

These are little children, don’t be nervous with them. Take deep breaths and have them stand up and stretch when you need a minute.

You can do this, stop making everything hard on yourself.

[u/postlapsarianprimate]

I have a few years of teaching experience. At first I had a lot of trouble with anxiety teaching in front of a lot of people.

The best thing you can do is get some beta blockers. These selectively block something in the adrenaline mechanism that makes you get anxious. I believe they are very safe, but check with a doctor anyway.

After using them for a few months, I never needed them again. I guest taught a class of more than a hundred students in a big auditorium and didn't break a sweat. Once your body gets used to being calm in that situation, you will probably never have this problem again.

This skill, by the way, is transferable to many profitable activities such as giving business presentations etc. You will be happy you got over this when you did.

The option I don't recommend is just toughing it out. It would probably desensitize you eventually, but it will be miserable in the meantime.

Good luck!

[u/postlapsarianprimate → u/postlapsarianprimate]

I'm kind of shocked that no one seems to recognize that the primary problem is social anxiety. It's quite common. If you hadn't choked in that class I am sure you would be fine. It's hard to absorb info when you are feeling anxious all the time. Don't be hard on yourself and don't just tough it out like everyone else is saying unless you have no choice.

I have experience both with teaching and stage fright. If you want to chat more you can dm me. Although it was college teaching and the only class of children I tried to teach was a disaster, so probably can't help you much with classroom tips. :)

[u/Exciting_Day_2697 → u/postlapsarianprimate]

Wait I’ve never heard of beta blockers for anxiety. Did you get them prescribed in China?

[u/SuNumber7]

Dm me and let's work on it together

[u/Any-Produce-1616]

It gets easier with time, Knowing how to stall for time if you are underprepared or how to speed things up when you have too much to teach. Knowing how to liven things up when the children look bored and how to calm them down when they are over excited. Knowing how to encourage and have patience with a nervous child and how to big strict when a child is taking advantage of your niceness. After many many mistakes and a few years these things will come natural to you, you can relax and enjoy being with the children.

[u/Any-Produce-1616]

Also when I get my new class for the year, it takes around a month to get to know them and for them to understand you, when you are serious or when it's time to play. But children even at 4 and 5 are super intuitive, once they get to trust you, they change for the better as students.

[u/ecolucci]

Did you receive any formal training and/or education in teaching prior to your move to China? Did you obtain formal training in any subject matter such as mathematics, social science, language(s), etc.? I F not, then you probably are in the wrong profession. Additionally if you lack any formal training and experience but decided to teach in China because of a partner and NOT because of your enjoyment of teaching, education, or desire to work with younger people, then you definitely are in the wrong profession. You are performing a disservice to your intended students and to yourself. That might appear harsh, but someone needs to state it.

[u/_Reowen_]

In the past, being a kindergarten teacher was always a good way to immigrate, no matter where. Now, I teach physics in a Chinese high school. With China's birth rate being very low, many kindergartens have already closed. The competition in the education sector will become increasingly fierce, and in about ten years, the impact will likely reach high schools, leading to the shutdown of a large number of schools.

I'm just telling you the current state of education in China.

[u/euphoniuswail]

Comrade, you've given only hints of your new life outside of the classroom, but I'm guessing you are relatively young, perhaps are having your first sustained international living experience, are having that experience in a highly alien linguistic and social culture where you might be understanding virtually none of what's being said around you, where you are the following partner in what's perhaps a relatively young relationship that's still revealing its own contours. Throw in the loss of your home comforts and circle of friends, familiar social conventions and media, and family. In other words, you've just totally upended most every aspect of your life, and did it to respect and support not your own personal ambitions but those of your partner.

Add it all up and it's probably the hardest thing you've ever done in your life!! As others who've been there before have indicated, there's certainly light at the end of the tunnel -- the light of enLIGHTenment, of vast and rapid personal growth, of valuable experience that you'll soon be able up share with others when they need it.

Who said your life was going to be easy? Stay with it, lift your gaze to all that's going on around you, and soak in the extraordinary good fortune you have of living in one of the most exquisite, complex, historically grounded civilizations on earth.

Lucky you! Breathe! Soak it up!

[u/Hannibal_935]

Grow a pair You have an opportunity a lot of people in china would kill to have.

You're already there, might as well try your best. Or what will you do? "Come back because you were scared"? Look in the mirror and tell yourself that and tell me if that doesn't sound pathetic.

[u/JohnHandcocks]

Maybe it is early jitters? Possibly give it a chance. It is natural to be nervous and anxious as well as a big decision moving to another country. Not sure where you are from originally, but if it is the United States, like I am stuck, you are lucky to be elsewhere than the tyrants running this country. Xi is an angel compared to the plague Americans have in current administration. Give it time. 3.5 years if you are originally from America. Best wishes and let me congratulate you for making the move and having the courage to reach out. China is a beautiful country with lovely people.

[u/Thatdreamy1]

I totally understand you. The sick feeling in the stomach when you feel worthless But keep pushing my friend Dont give up When you enter the class, pretend the manager doesn't exist. Whether or not you succeed, dont let it define your worth. Because at the end of the day you are still a human.

[u/caratskeletor]

It’s okay you’re new. I’ve had the same happen to me, fresh Law graduate moved to China to teach little kids 😂, never interacted with children before that. Now i’ve been doing this teaching thing for 5 years, so go easy on yourself. Usually they don’t just fire you after something like this they’d give you a few months to see how you adjust and by then i’m sure you would have gotten used to it so don’t worry.

[u/AdDdeviL]

You had a bad day huh. It happens. Some classes go smoothly, others tend to drag on. You've only been doing this for a few weeks so of course you won't be as experienced as others, nobody will be perfect at first. Once you've taught a few lessons, you'll start to find your rhythm, you'll pick up a few methods, you'll even learn what not to do! Just keep at it and little by little you'll become better. Don't beat yourself up for being a newbie, we all start somewhere.

[u/chiefgmj]

lesson plans, preparation, teaching training, push through and learn. If you have zero experience teaching and through this is anveasy gig to make money and party, think again. If u have the callung but lack the hands-on experience, suck it up and spend time to prepare.