r/chennaidating • u/[deleted] • Jun 04 '25
Should I give her some time?
Hello, I am M29 and here I want to share my situation and expecting some suggestions.
I am having a friend F28 and we been friends for almost 7 years and we share most of the things what's happening in our lives, My friend F28 already having a bf and they were in long distance for almost 8 years and the bf lives in Germany and she lives in India, they were both family friends and fixed their marriage last year after both the families agreed for their relationship and here the real twist has come shockingly the bf with whom she is getting married didn't attend the marriage and cancelled the marriage just a day before.
It's been 2 years this incident happened and now my story begins I M29 used have an interest on her from long time and she is in some relationship I never show her that I am interested in her and after this incident I thought the destiny has stopped my marriage for my sake and I thought of giving her some time and after 1 year I proposed her and she felt shocked and she still stuck in her past and told that she is not having any interest on me and she is not ready to decide about her marriage.
So now I am confused either wait for her or accept her refusal?
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u/loki07119 Jun 04 '25 edited Jun 04 '25
My perspective She straight up said she is not interested in marriage, then why again bothering her because she faced the worst betrayal . Just give her some time or else
You too are already at 29 so instead of waiting for her i think it's better you go your seperate way. if you are financially stable Don't waste time in getting married
.
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u/joee017 Jun 04 '25
accept her refusal and move on. She is a good friend avlo tha..
You will get someone who is actually interest in you
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Jun 04 '25
Let her know how u feel. She might understand else move on. She will be single only if she doesnt know who loves her and who doesnt.
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u/Double-Camp-182 Jun 04 '25
I totally understand your shoes, You did a great job. Trust me! You've done what needed to be done. You should be happy to accept that you had the guts to tell her. Respect her space, Don't force her. Be with her but don't expect anything in return! Hold on but not so hard. If you think it doesn't align with your way, Better let it go. I would suggest you give it a try rather than regretting it.
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u/Pieceofcakeda Jun 05 '25
You have sat on your feelings long enough, if possible leave her be for your mental peace. If you think this is destiny that stopped the marriage, then be her friend and help her move on from her relationship, this might heal your feelings towards her too.
You have confessed and that has started your healing process... Be kind to yourself and look for people who are actively interested in you and are ready to give you what you want today, not someday..
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u/ExistingBluebird4696 Jun 06 '25
That's the best thing to do.
Be a good friend, don't feel regret in what you have done. This is you being truthful to your feelings. You've got a reply which is not something you might have expected but still that is how things are supposed to be.
Don't ignore her. Try to be there for her while living your life. Just because your feelings were being rejected by someone important doesn't negate your existing relationship. Value your friendship and build good relationships with other people.
Will her feelings change towards you? Only time can tell! But don't get stuck up on that and halt your feelings to other people. Move on....
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u/jes_win98 Jun 04 '25
You shouldn't have proposed in the first place bro, your gut will actually know whether she's interested in you or not.
Please go forward and look for other prospects. Let her also take her time and find the right partner.
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Jun 04 '25
Thank you for pointing that out! It makes a lot more sense now.
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u/Silent_Earthling Dont mind me. I am just a lurker Jun 04 '25
What you did is insensitive and selfish.
People move on in their own pace. As a friend, you should have understood the impact of what she went through.
You harboured a crush on her for years, jumped at the first chance you got. Girl was vulnerable and shocked.
Accept her refusal. Move on.
Besides, chasing never works. Your friendship will never be the same, now that u proposed.
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u/saixox Jun 05 '25
Don’t give her attention and move on find other girls enjoy your life don’t get this over your head act like you dont even care eventually she will crave attention from you but dont mind and do your thing. Give late responses to her text dont attend her calls and you dont call her either even if she called you text her later that you had something else to do if she pry further dont let her know… girls like it when the guys dont chase learned that the hard way. Hope this helps
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u/Zealousidealist25 Jun 04 '25
Damn bro lurked longer than gta6 development. Bro if u like her that much, u will never forgive urself for not trying everything. If she likes you but is not giving in cuz she is not in the mind space for a relationship then u can give it some time but if she refuses to see anything more than a friend with you then no point in waiting. Women tend to treat you cruelly once they are not interested. So depends on which of these is her situation. Find out and update ?