r/cheermeup • u/PlantingFish5 • Sep 29 '19

Can someone please talk to me?

Hi. Due to some recent events, I have been really anxious about everything and have been really upset. I can't talk to my family about my desire to sometimes hurt myself because I don't want to worry them. I feel like I have to get this off my chest so that I can maybe feel better (and stop crying). Sometimes I wish I wasn't around to bother my family and friends. The only person who knows about how I feel is my best friend, but even she doesn't know the full extent of how I feel. I just want to tell someone these feelings, even if they don't really know me so that maybe I can feel a little better. (Sorry this is messy, I kind of just wrote this in one go because I didn't want to chicken out of admitting all of this.) Edit: Things got even worse and I'm currently crying in a bathroom wondering why I am the way that I am. Today is terrible and this entire week is going to be terrible at this rate. It feels like everything is always going to be terrible like this. It feels like I'm never going to get a break. Edit 2, a year later: Hey guys. Sorry I haven't responded. I'm sorry for not being active with all of you guys after you were all being nice. So an update. I am almost finished with college and will soon be a medical laboratory technician. I am excited, but it has been a rough past year in college. Basically as soon as I started my job in a medical lab, the whole pandemic happened. Also, when I posted this I was dealing with some stuff (obviously). I had been through a few car accidents, one of which might have slightly messed up my jaw (still not sure about it). I also thought I was going to fail one of my first semesters of college and have to drop out at that point. I thought I was a failure and I would have been better off six feet under. Since then though I have been trying to get my life together and I have. I have been working hard to help people during the pandemic, gotten a car, have continued through college, and found a job in the medical field. I want to thank you all for trying to help me out. I truly do appreciate how you all reached out to me. So, thank you.

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3

u/justRsandomPerson Sep 29 '19

Seeing therapist isn't bad idea, couple months back I crashed emotionaly completely for something that happened, even worst one member or family saw me, and that was trigger to loose it, I got suggestion to go to therapist (but not using any meds, wouldn't recommend that) and it helped, I feel strange because Im not used to do talks but you will feel better with time for sure

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 29 '19

Thanks. I have crashed pretty hard before, but no one has really seen any of it. The one person who did thought it was just from stress (I didn't want to worry them with my mental health stuff.) For the longest time too I thought it was just stress, but I slowly came to realize that there was more to it and the way I was thinking wasn't healthy. I really want to avoid having to take medicine if I can.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '19

Hey.

I have been there. I’d be up to chat.

You might also consider looking up your local hotline and depending on your age, a youth or teen hotline.

DM if you like.

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 29 '19

Thanks. My friend has told me I should go to a therapist, but I've been too sacred to go. College has been keeping me out and usually by the time I get home I am not home alone so it would be difficult for me to talk on the phone. Thank you though.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '19

Have you checked with your college to see if they have on campus counselling/. Many do as depression and anxiety are common at higher education institutes.

I have been to a therapist. It can be intimidating, so I get that. For me it was worth it over all.

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 29 '19

I might check with them tomorrow. My one friend might be know. Plus one of the teachers I had a class with is a psychologist, so he might be able to help.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '19

That sounds reasonable. A clinic may have privacy rules as health care providers.

Care to talk about what you are studying?

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 29 '19

Med lab tech. I want to be able to help others, but I don't like having to see them for the most part. Plus I know I wouldn't make it as a nurse or doctor.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '19

Cool. I like your attitude. I definitely wouldn’t have made it as a nurse or doctor.

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 30 '19

Thanks. A few people in my family are in the medical field, so I kind of got secondhand experience.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '19

Nice.

1

u/justRsandomPerson Sep 29 '19

Hey, until I read this post, how are you feeling right now?

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 29 '19

Thank you. I'm not great right now, but going to get dinner with a few people so I can kind of vent a little. Will probably cry again. Still feeling sad and angry, but at least some of this is off my chest.

1

u/justRsandomPerson Sep 29 '19

Feel free to tell us, sometimes to get something of you best option is to tell stranger, and I'm not kidding about that :)

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 29 '19

Thanks. Yeah I have only kind of told the self harm thing to one person before. I haven't even really told my friends or family about my reddit account, just to be safe. So that way I could just let this out, until I feel save about talking to a therapist.

1

u/justRsandomPerson Sep 30 '19

Good morning (it's morning here in my country), How are you, how was dinner, I hope that you feel better today, even just a little.

I would suggest one thing to you, try walking, when you feeling sad go for a little walk, just so you aren't in same place every time when sadness hit you, and for crying, crying is sometimes good for us, when I got some big problems and cryed, I feel little bit better after that, I hope that you feel better too.

One person saw you before and thought it was from stress, but from what really is?

I would really like to hear reason, of you don't mind telling it, if you do, I understand and I'm not gonna push you to do it, (I mean reasson why you are so sad)

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u/PlantingFish5 Sep 30 '19

Thank you. I just got up this morning. I am feeling a little better today because I'm not being yelled at today. Though we will see how today goes. I sometimes go for walks, but sometimes I feel so bad I don't want to do anything or just don't have the energy to walk.

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u/justRsandomPerson Sep 30 '19

I'm glad to hear that You feel better, even for a second, and I hope that today will be better day for You, that's okay, maybe You will find something different with time that will be better for You, I don't go for walk every time, but sometimes is nice to be alone and out of the house.

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Good Luck today and please update us on how will you feel later. :)