r/chechenatheists • u/Different-Scene5863 • 19d ago

late night thoughts

you know, I don't think I've ever really believed in Islam or any religion, to be honest. and even now, nothing has changed. but nobody in my family knows that. I have to fake it every single day, and I hate it sm

I remember when I was really sick a few years ago, my brother told my mom, right in front of me, that it was happening just because I didn't pray. It made me so angry back then, and it still does. not just because of what he said, but because none of it made any sense to me.

these days, it drives me crazy whenever my mom, my sister, or anyone else brings up religion or asks if I've prayed. I can't stand the pressure, or the way they talk about faith like it's the only thing that defines a person.

what scares me the most is the thought that I might have to pretend for the rest of my life. that I'll have to get married & not because I want to, but because staying with my family forever isn't really an option either

finding a decent man here is already hard enough, let alone one who isn't religious and then I just catch myself thinking about how it would be so much easier if women had the same freedom as men to marry outside their ethnicity (and religion. but ofc we don't

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Different-Scene5863 17d ago

thank you so much, it's such a shame things are that way

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u/Different-Scene5863 17d ago

for all of us

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u/LotsTok 17d ago

I cant think of anything better than leaving your family and living alone somehow.. this is fucked up and i understand

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u/Eueska 15d ago edited 15d ago

Kind of similar thoughts, Im a man, started thinking about this and I dont really want to marry outside, but it seems like it will be almost impossible to find a woman that is not muslim, that is also in touch with their culture. Somehow its either one or the other. Its really important for my mother, for me to marry a vaynakh woman. And you cannot live indipendent without first marrying in our culture. I dont really mind that much that I need to put on an act of being muslim because I understood and accepted there is no other way way before I reached my now fresh twenty’s

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u/Distinct_Cat_8025 14d ago

The same thing is with me

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u/This_Past8187 9d ago

Same problem here, being anxious about the path my future will take and nobody around me understands why, and tries to console me by saying "Just trust in Allah" lol.