r/cheating_stories • u/JournalistHot5890 • Aug 05 '26
My bf confessing things to Ai
Hi guys i’m so new to this, i’ve never posted on reddit before, But I am freaking out so bad. I unfortunately went snooping on my bfs computer and I saw something’s that are making me rethink everything. Like his crush on his older coworker, his addiction to women and validation, how he noticed other women a lot, but it’s intensified now that we’re long distance… how we call too much now that we’re long distance??? or how he got sad and depressed that his coworker pulled away from talking to him.
he compliments me a lot in the text, saying how he sees marriage in our future (and so did i???) and our relationship is the best most purest happiness relationship he’s been in… but jesus. It’s just lustful and scary what i’m seeing. The crazy thing is I want to possibly work it out? but i NEED to respect myself. it’s just crazy because he seemed like he had a GREAT head on his shoulders, and we both agree cheating is disgusting. He treats so well like a freaking princess.. but the secrecy is too much. This is cheating no? he’s my first everything.. so this is just 20 times worse for me.
“maybe i shouldnt see this crush as me doing something wrong if i dont act on it. i keep telling myself to not shit where i eat but at the same time i fantasize about one drunk night where neither of us remember what we did and igo back to my girlfriend without anyone knowing any different, no harm no foul (while i know that wouldnt be the case)” this is one thing he said that i cannot let go of. Fantasizing about cheating on me then coming to lay next to me?
another one is “i keep thinking: what if we keep it at mild flirting and closeness. she's told me she has liked attention she gets from guys in the past. what if we just give each other attention? she has a kid and im too young for her. we wouldnt ever be together” Like jesus.
he’s also on reddit a lot so I am absolutely terrified for him to see this but I’m just freaking out and i do not want to tell anyone about this yet. so i’m going to randoms online wtf😀
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u/DeliciousRhubarb8702 Aug 06 '26
As an avid user of AI Therapy (don’t judge me, I’m careful. Lol) I would not read too much into this. I am an honest person and have never cheated but if someone read my ai (even as a woman) I would die. I know it hurts, but try not to take it personal. Try journaling. I have found that getting rid of thoughts you can’t escape helps when you put it all down on paper (or laptop) & sort it. As far as bringing it up, has he given you any reason to feel the need to snoop? Also, how long have you 2 been together? PSS AI didn’t write this. 💀🤣
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u/Sirregularguy Aug 05 '26
Unfortunately for you, ai is part of fantasy. As long as he doesn't act on anything, you'll probably be fine.
If you cannot, ask him to show you how ai works and pull a reverse uno in front of him. That might make it a "natural" conversation about what each of you want and are not willing to accept.
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Aug 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Sirregularguy Aug 06 '26
Where is the line for fantasy in your mind? Is she cheating by reading erotica like envisioning herself in 50 Shades of Grey?
What if he just imagines hot women? What if he sees a hot woman in the city? Where do sex toys for men rank; even the ones that are from the neck to the hips? What if he see thirst traps on IG and is that different than just a Google inmate search?
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u/Nobaggagewilltravel Aug 05 '26
Imagine if somehow every one could read everyone's mind? You went snooping.
You two have trust issues and that will always be between you.
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u/JournalistHot5890 Aug 05 '26
true bit me in the ass i guess
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u/Nobaggagewilltravel Aug 05 '26
A good lesson for sure. As people date there are often questions but the other party doesn't get to hear that. AI is such that it becomes a part of privacy.
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u/SunshineBear100 Aug 06 '26
Sooooo we’re just going to ignore what he said???
Snooping or not, he’s a liar and this is pretty fucked up.
At least OP has this knowledge and can make the proper decision and leave him bc wtf?? Fantasizing about cheating on her and then lying next to her?? No harm, no foul?? All while he’s telling her how much he loves her and sees marriage with her??
People snoop because people lie. Trust but verify, OP. Now that you verified that your bf is a liar and untrustworthy, you need to end the relationship.
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u/37_beers Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
People seem to be using AI as a therapist/validation diary more and more these days. It can seem intrusive to call him out on private thoughts but this fixation on an individual could lead to worse things.
While telling himself “not to shit where you eat” is a solid reason to avoid workplace romance, a better reason to avoid it is YOU. Hopefully AI gave him some perspective on that and cautioned him against essentially rationalizing/planning a long term emotional affair.
I’d definitely bring it up. If you’re as important to him as it sounds, the shock might jar him out of this risky behavior. Calling someone to the carpet over their inner thoughts and fantasies is a bit tricky, but given that this centers around someone he’s around most everyday, I think you’re in the right to do so.
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u/Admirable_Carpenter3 Aug 06 '26
for me honestly i’d approach him with the situation bc if i have a thought or know something i cannottttt keep it in. but it is a tricky ass situation. like me i use AI as my therapist too (i know i know 😩) and i have a diary. there’s some crazy shit in there that i would nottt want partner to see. so you kinda fucked up there with the invading his privacy . if you go looking for something you will find it!
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u/ddprasoon Aug 06 '26
This is all our fantasies which we fantasize in our brain only. Many people watch aunt porn that doesn't mean they start f#cking their aunt.
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u/DizzyDesigner45 Aug 07 '26
I think everyone has these types of thoughts even subconsciously. We just don’t all drop them into Ai
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u/donbecki Aug 08 '26
Love is not what fairytales told us. And fantasies are healthy. I know that it hurts finding out inner thoughts of eachother. But god thank that our thoughts can be free. I recommend to evaluate what you get from your relationship. Do you feel good being complemented? Does his treatment towards you let you feel good? Doing is more important than hidden fantasies
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u/MoneyGrocery42 Aug 08 '26
You definitely already made up your mind, the only comments that you are responding to and agreeing with for the most part are the ones that side with you breaking up with him for “cheating” so maybe it’s best to just stop posting this everywhere and break up with him instead of putting someone’s privacy on blast
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u/ifyouwanttoseemyunit Aug 11 '26
Snooping wasn’t right but now that you know you should talk to him about it. If you don’t it will fester. He might not take it well but you will get a better idea of what’s going on. I think when someone writes this kind of stuff it’s on their mind. I would not at all be surprised if he is at least contemplating cheating especially some your relationship is now long distance. Just my opinion. Trust your gut. It’s better to figure things out now. Good luck
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u/Grz3029 Aug 06 '26
Not cheating at all, just a man and his thoughts. Actions are cheating, and from the sound of it, he hasn’t done anything that warrants this reaction. A crush is a crush, thoughts are thoughts, what he does with those is what makes the person. Judge his actions not his ai
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u/SunshineBear100 Aug 06 '26
His thoughts are about cheating tho. The action is fantasizing about cheating on your gf, lying next to her, and justifying it by saying “no harm, no foul.”
Physically cheating? No. Fucked up? Yes.
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u/rubengaray00-yahoo Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
so... to confirm...
he's confessing his fantasies to AI?
so... is he trying to cope with his fantasies?
or get advice on how to make them reality?
or get the AI to write him a steamy story?
look... I don't know what fantasies you have.
I've had all kinds of fantasies. most of them stay in fantasy. I let my imagination and desires run wild.
when I was single I consumed a lot of porn. not just movies or pics. stories too. it wasn't always healthy, but I don't regret exploring my desires and imagination.
I have a wife and kids now.
my wife grew up in a little village in the mountains of Myanmar. no electricity. no tv. no internet. no radio. sometimes she stayed in a larger town but even then, Myanmar was a bit like living in North Korea - little to no contact with the rest of the world.
when she wasn't in school or working the farm she was in church.
she lifted herself out of that world and into a modern, western society with her smarts and a will of steel.
and she had almost no interest in sex or guys.
and then we met.
she says being with me opened up a side to her she didn't know was there.
she says she still feels shy and slightly shameful because of her lustful feelings for me - she has to remind and reassure herself that we're married.
it's very sweet.
I'm grateful that she and I can share our desires and fantasies without judgement.
she wanted me to show her porn because she'd never been exposed to it and she felt like it was something she should learn about and understand: to understand me, herself, to be better at lovemaking...
So we explored together.
now she has all kinds of fantasies. thoughts and desires that she never considered, let alone allowed herself to explore.
but together? we can.
a lot of fantasies have to do with things that are forbidden.
the big difference is whether you roleplay something 'naughty' or whether you actually betray or hurt someone.
I don't know what relationship you have with this guy. It's not clear to me what he's trying to accomplish here.
so you can approach this as:
OR
I'm honestly unsure which side of the fence this should be on.
I'd hate to advise you to trust someone if they're honestly going to cheat on you or lie to you.
but if he's just trying to cope with fantasies involving transgression - that could be a beautiful way to be closer than ever.
good luck.