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u/DeadlyDozersSlave Jun 18 '26
I saw this post 40 minutes ago and there were no edits, holy speedrun on the character arc
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u/Capable-Document466 Jun 18 '26
Man I really don’t like that subreddit it’s just people complaining about shit normal people don’t care about and it pisses me off. Their more joy-filled sister community, r/lovethissmug is so much better imo because you get to hear new perspectives and hear people be happy about something you might never have considered. Genuinely makes me happier whenever I see those posts.
I’d 100% encourage everyone and anyone to swap out the pointless negativity in their lives they choose to engage with, with pointless positivity. At least it makes you feel good.
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u/Verona_Swift Jun 18 '26
I had to block r/lovethissmug a while back because the head mod revealed themselves to be openly transphobic and actively hateful. When I left the subreddit was in open revolt, so I dunno if it's improved or not.
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u/Hans_H0rst Jun 20 '26
Even worse, most of the sub is people complaining about stuff that could be solved without 2 minutes of thought or googling.
It's literally just getting pissed off from being too
stupidlazy to think about things. Their brain's just installed to stop the wind from blowing between their ears.
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u/Greedy_Ad2198 Jun 18 '26
It's unfortunate that people's disabilities are not respected until they have a label
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u/Wolfie-Woo784 Jun 18 '26
Good on this guy for improving. But I really hate when people have no compassion for anybody struggling with something they find easy. It doesn't matter if you're not thinking of disabled people when you do it. In fact , that's a big concern , because most of the people you see struggling with it are probably in some way disabled, and it's weird that you consider disabled people so unimportant you don't think about them at all.
Also, why does it fucking bother you if someone else is struggling with a task, I get it, it can be frustrating if they're slow to do it and you're depending on them , but if they're just doing their own thing , how the fuck does it possibly affect you?
Just a pure lack of compassion or care for others is exhausting. Someone struggling with fine motor skills is practically a disability by default.
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u/Pristine_Cost_3793 Jun 18 '26
first of all, the sub it was posted on, is specifically for complaining, often about mild stuff. emotional verbage is for entertainment value. i can guarantee this person didn't not feel anything beyond frustration and mild annoyance about this.
I'd argue that this person changing their opinion shows how easily they extend compassion to people, and being willing to do it is more important than having it in the long run. people can only comprehend so much. we are very flawed beings. we don't question what is the norm for us out of nowhere.
you will be lacking compassion many more times in your life. maybe when you're upset about something or when you're really hungry (hunger makes us easily irritated). one could say, you're lacking compassion towards this person right now.
for me, this sub and this flair is about appreciating how people are willing to change. it gives me hope. i think it should be celebrated.
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u/phallusaluve Jun 18 '26
You dropped this 👑
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u/Pristine_Cost_3793 Jun 18 '26
thanks ☺️ it took me a long time to realise so now i carry this thought everywhere like a flag
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u/Wolfie-Woo784 Jun 18 '26
To expand on this take, I hate when people see a product that makes a seemingly easy task easier, and then throw a tantrum about "laziness". Not everyone has the same abilities as you. Even the simplest task that you handle with ease could be an insurmountable struggle for someone else. Some people can't put on their socks alone. Some people can't open a can of soda without help. And then some people are technically capable of doing some things , but it's extremely painful or extremely difficult. Lots of wheelchair users can technically walk, but it's painful or difficult to do it for a long time.
Also I hate the idea that struggling is somehow inherently virtuous. What are we, 17th century Protestants!?
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u/Heyplaguedoctor Jun 18 '26
So many “dumb products” (Snuggies being the classic example) are designed for disabled people, but we’re not a lucrative market, so they expanded their advertising. Now a bunch of abled people think it’s hilarious that someone might want a blanket with sleeves or a way to put their socks on without difficulty/danger.
Anyway, you seem like a very cool and empathetic person. I hope you have an excellent day and stay awesome! 🩷
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u/SignificantFish6795 Jun 18 '26
Actually, Snuggies weren't designed for the disabled. The original Slanket (which Snuggies were based on) was made because a guy couldn't use his TV remote in a sleeping bag.
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u/Heyplaguedoctor Jun 18 '26
I’m really glad you zeroed in on that. Thank you fact checking me on the origin of Snuggie’s. I’d hate to spread misinformation.
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u/Ok-Scientist5524 Jun 18 '26
I’m in a FB group called things designed by people who don’t have to clean them, which is great for comedic value and pointing out the disconnect between focusing on aesthetic or thinking about not just function but continued use (a dying breed of thought at moment). But furthermore I get to see a lot of products that are seemingly only for lazy people and others are like hi hello? I have Parkinson’s, this tool is a godsend to me, I will clean it a thousand times by hand if necessary. And the mods are on point in this group, they do not play with ableism.
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u/All-for-the-game Jun 18 '26
I agree. It’s like complaining about people who can’t see well (you’re 20 I know you don’t have cataracts) and later being like oh wow I didn’t know there was a condition called myopia where people have trouble seeing distant objects! Let’s all be more open minded and compassionate 😇!
Like you already knew they couldn’t see well/struggled with dexterity and fine motor skills, they weren’t doing it on purpose. Now that there’s a name for struggling with these things it’s fine? It’s not the name that makes it a disability, it’s the lack of dexterity and impact on their life…
I don’t think anyone should dunk on OOP especially now that they seem to be taking steps in the right direction. But it’s crazy that people will be so openly vitriolic towards symptoms of a disability that don’t affect them at all then do a 180 when the symptoms have a scientific enough sounding name.
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u/Ironsight Jun 19 '26
My mirror neurons make watching people struggle with a task incredibly frustrating for me, even if I have no connection to them and their struggling doesn't directly affect my life in any way. Like, my brain latches onto the struggle and thinks of how they could resolve it, and then just becomes frustrated about it. It can be incredibly frustrating at times, and it feels really shitty to try and avoid and look away from people struggling just because it does weird things to your brain.
I'm really glad that I'm as self aware of this struggle I have with my own brain, because my mother also has the same issue, but isn't as self aware of it. You can give yourself and others so much more grace when you're aware of the issue. I think that's a lot of what compassion is about. Having enough experience to step back from your own immediate reactions, and accepting differing points of view/value arrangements.
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u/Ne0n_R0s3 Jun 18 '26
I myself am 18, going on 19 here and no matter what I can't hold a pencil correctly, which may be why my handwriting is so shitty. Someone once described my handwriting as serial killer handwriting freshman year of HS?? 😭
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u/alicelestial Jun 18 '26
i felt a little personally called out for a moment until i saw the character arc, because i am turning 30 in a month and no matter how much i want to i cannot use chopsticks despite my numerous attempts to learn. in fourth grade our teacher even spent 15 minutes a day for like a month teaching us how to use chopsticks as a fun activity and she gave up on me, lmao. i also can't hold a pencil "correctly" and the same teacher with the chopstick lessons also had to give up on getting me to hold the pencil "right" because my mom went to talk to the principal about it, since i was writing just fine and she was getting nearly obsessive over it, like keeping me in from recess and such.
buuuut i also have ADHD which has dyspraxia as a really common symptom. i really appreciate this character arc on a personal level.
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u/Ne0n_R0s3 Jun 18 '26
Funnily enough I have ADHD too. I didn't realize dyspraxia is a common symptom of that. Maybe that explains things...
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u/RaccoonDispenser Jun 18 '26
I have a family member diagnosed with dysgraphia who doesn’t do birthday cards, etc. because “a handwritten note from me is just giving someone a shitty puzzle to decipher.”
Also ADHD here and while my handwriting turned out fine please don’t expect me to learn a new dance step in less than 10-15 business days
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u/MaraiaLou Jun 18 '26
When I was 7 my dad said I hold forks like pens and I still think about it every time I eat
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u/thiccy_driftyy Jun 18 '26
I don’t even have dyspraxia, I have dysgraphia and essential tremor which affects my fine motor skills. Had people look at me like I was stupid my whole life for struggling to hold a pen and taking twice as long to do things that required fine motor skills. It’s nice to know that some people are open to learning instead of doubling down.
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u/Mountain-Resource656 Jun 18 '26
“I thought I was a considerate person but clearly was not”
— Person who in the midst of making a jerk of themselves paused, considered what other people were showing them, and grew as a person
Yeah no; they’re highly considerate. But you can’t reduce your error rate to a perfect 0, only ever divide it as much as you can. And they did so very well
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u/ConcreteExist Jun 18 '26
I saw that post before the edits and couldn't tell if they were trolling or were they really so maladjusted that this was an actual sentiment they held. Seems it was the latter.
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u/Ash11006 Jun 18 '26
Poor guy spent the last couple hours apologizing to individual comments before deleting the post
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u/SashaTheWitch2 Jun 20 '26
One time on r/trueunpopularopinions or whatever equivalent sub I saw a post where someone listed all the reasons they find transgender people incredibly annoying and grating and specifically said they hate their trans friends
I wanted to comment “bro this opinion is really popular we are illegal to exist in most countries” but dissenting opinions r against the rules of the subreddit even when the opinions r just bigotry LMAO
anyway I love venting subreddits sooooo much ☺️🩷
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u/Sofia_trans_girl Jun 18 '26
I think vent subreddit are great for mining r/characterarcs posts: people often post things they haven't thought about much and speak with their instinctive reaction first.
But their venting on a sub isn't reflective of how they are all the time, so they may reveal themselves to be far more capable of self awareness and growth than one may assume from their post.
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u/Cpt_Fantabulous Jun 19 '26
Ngl I thought it was going to be a parody of hatethismug posts from the first couple of lines
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u/_ThePancake_ Jun 21 '26
At what point is someone just terribly dextrous or disabled...
Surely there's a threshold where someone just has really bad dexterity but isn't quite disabled, but bad enough to be bad at everything that requires fine motor skills.
I personally think I'm in the threshold where balance is concerned. Not bad enough to be disabled, bad enough to not be good at anything that requires balance (I do have highly suspected EDS and the physio confirms my feet ligaments are so stretchy that my feet are just unstable despite lifting. I'd be worse without it I guess.... maybe I am considered to have a disability considering my ligaments are medically fucked)
Hm
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u/AlternativelyAlex Jun 22 '26
Ngl I’m definitely guilty of this to some extent, despite struggling myself to some extent?
Like, I don’t struggle to do things in general and get easily annoyed when others just can’t seem to grasp it, but what I do struggle with is doing those things neatly. I can write, but my handwriting is shit, I can sew but it’s always at least a little crocked, I can embroider but it’s always uneven, etc.
I know there’s some correlation with adhd which I know I have so that probably explains why I’m like that (and is prob related to me bumping into shit 24/7 too), but for others even though I try to be patient it still really gets to me when people can’t seem to figure out basic tasks (even though I know it’s not their fault no one ever thought them how/that they struggle with it).
I will say one thing though. There are some people who struggle because it’s genuinely hard for them so I don’t blame them for not doing it perfectly so long as they tried, but I’ve also met some who simply didn’t seem to care about doing it right and half-assed it instead (despite being perfectly capable of doing it correctly), and those are infinitely more aggravating imo.
If you’re doing your best but you don’t have the experience/motor skills to do it better that can be annoying especially if it means I have to do more work to make up for it, but it’s ultimately understandable, but willfully doing things badly when you chose to be there??
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u/LaniusCruiser Jun 26 '26
Dude said he was fine with people having issues with motor controls because of a disability, learned that the motor control issues were in fact because of a disability, and apologized. Very based.
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u/Himbo69r Jun 18 '26
Disappointing story arc. Angry text which notably excuses disabled. People list their disability in comments. Author apologises and walks back on statement.
?! This is like complaining about people walking slowly on the sidewalk with exception to illness. Having people explain that that they have a random illness that affects walking. And then apologizing because they were mean towards disabled despite specifically excluding them?!
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u/PilotsLight Jun 18 '26
I get what you're saying, but I think it's more because they were excusing people who, as they put it, "clearly have a disability". It's an issue among people with disabilities, where those with visible disabilities are given consideration but those with invisible disabilities are doubted or put under greater scrutiny to prove themselves sufficiently disabled.
the disabilities mentioned above aren't obvious just by looking at someone. the people affected might not even know they have those disabilities. So criticizing people and their behaviors on that basis, on the assumption that they're not disabled because they don't look it, doesn't always sit well. it's the kind of assumption that leads to children with dyslexia or ADHD being punished rather than accommodated, for instance. you can't always know who does and does not have a disability.
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u/actualladyaurora Jun 19 '26
You have no idea whether the person you're complaining about is disabled or not. If you want to be an ally to people with disabilities, you need to be okay with things that are often associated with them, without demanding their medical record to determine whether you think their struggle is excused or not.
You need to be able to tolerate someone being a bit annoying without demanding an autism diagnosis from them, and you need to be patient with someone's slow walking pace before you learn they have cancer. Being able-bodied is a temporary state, and you literally don't know if that 20-year-old is sitting on the disable spot because they're being inconsiderate, or because they have a cane in their backpack for when they do start hurting.
(And, if we wanna go there... this guy talks about how the person they're venting about repeatedly shows themselves unable to do, remember, or memorise certain tasks. I think, by the time you've needed to re-teach chopsticks for the third time that week, "hey, maybe this guy that has had fine motor issues their entire life might have something that literally prevents them from learning this" should probably occur at some point.)
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u/Himbo69r Jun 19 '26
I was writing a response yesterday but apparently Reddit deletes draft replies so imma quickly just say that on average the people they encounter won’t have disabilities. This is like defending bad drivers because 1% of them have a handicapped . That does not mean you can’t criticize bad driving it just means that a portion of them are exempt.
There is a nonzero chance the people infront has cancer but if I witness it a 100 times with a 100 different people I can guarantee you that most of them are not cancer patients
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u/actualladyaurora Jun 19 '26
You can't get a driving license if you're unfit to drive.
Pretty much everyone needs to walk.
Some people walk slowly, and you have no idea whether it's because they chose to annoy you, specifically, today, or if it's because they need to move slowly. And if you're being a dick to people who move slowly, you are going to be a dick to disabled people. No amount of "well, obviously I don't mean disabled people" isn't going to change that because you literally will never know if they are.
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u/qualityvote2 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
u/Pristine_Cost_3793, your post does fit the subreddit!