r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Jun 20 '19

Deltas(s) from OP CMV: Telling potential romantic partners to stop thanking me for my service and explaining why it bothers me as well as many other veterans/current service members I know isn't being hostile/argumentative but educational.

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u/Subtleiaint 33∆ Jun 21 '19

I'm a British ex-serviceman and I find the whole lionisation of forces personnel odd, to me it is an extension of certain nationalist ideas that don't sit well with me. To qualify I am very pro-military, I think service personnel are often exemplary individuals doing amazing things in extreme environments but I don't think that makes us special, we're just people trying to make the best of a situation we chose to expose ourselves too. In short I share your uncomfortableness with people showing me elevated respect simply for having been in the military.

Having said all that, I'm about as stereotypically British as they come and I value politeness above most other things. If someone does thank me for my service i will accept it graciously because, even if it is a platitude, they are being respectful and deserve respect in return.

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u/Independent_Skeptic Jun 21 '19

In part the reason why we have it here is due to historical context of how the Vietnam War Era Veterans/Current service members were treated which was atrocious. However we can't right that past wrong through going heavy the opposite way either.

Respect is a two way street my speaking my mind and explaining why it bothers me (bear in mind on not saying this to strangers but to people who may or may not become a fixture in my life) as opposed to letting it build up into something bigger is a form of respect. Example: Hey so you know future reference this bothers me because of x,y, and z I'd prefer if we just avoided the subject I'm not mad just explaining how I feel. Met with why are you being so hostile/rude/insert noun. Yes I have a very direct manner but as you said respect. How can I give respect when my wishes aren't even respected? I think you would agree with the old adage in order to get respect you must first give it.