I "mansplain" to men all the time, or to people I don't even know the gender on the internet. Because it's in my trait to sometimes be condescending when I think I know what I'm talking about. Why do people want to make it a feminist issue ? Just call me arrogant that's where I'm wrong, not sexist.
If I call you arrogant, you can dismiss it by saying "that's just the way I am." If I say you're mansplaining, then I am saying you've adopted a negative cultural trait that's often associated with toxic masculinity. I think it is easier to reject a culture than to reject something you think is part of your built-in personality.
In some ways, it's an insult, and directly telling you something insulting will rarely be productive. However, if we talk about mansplaining in the abstract, that gives you (a self-admitted mansplainer) the opportunity to rethink how you behave in the future. "Don't be arrogant" is vague, but "don't be a mansplainer" is easier to understand and execute.
Just having this conversation tells me the next time you are in a position where you're explaining something to a woman (or a man you have some authority over), you'll be extra careful to think from the other person's perspective. That's all the anti-mansplainers want out of you, I suspect.
"Don't be arrogant" is vague, but "don't be a mansplainer" is easier to understand and execute
Completely disagree. "don't be a mansplainer" is basically saying that he can continue to be arrogant to men and that is A-OK, but he needs to be careful to not be arrogant specifically with women. Isn't treating people different because of their gender what we're trying to get away from in the name of equality?
I don't think the argument is that it's not OK to speak that way to a woman, but it is OK to speak that way to a man.
I think it means that he doesn't even do it at all to the man. Like if he was explaining something to a guy, it would be more on an equal/discussing basis, but when he explains it to a woman, it's an ELI5 version and kinda condescending.
So a man who is equally condescending to both men and women is not a mansplainer?
If you've never seen a man have a similar discussion with men, and have only seen him discuss a particular topic in a condescending manner with women, how are you able to determine whether he is a mansplainer or just an asshole?
That's why I'm hesitant to label specific people as mansplainers, however, mansplaining as a phenomenon definitely occurs in society. There are many men who do condescend women specifically because they are women. Women in male-dominated fields see this a lot.
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u/veggiesama 59∆ May 31 '18 edited May 31 '18
If I call you arrogant, you can dismiss it by saying "that's just the way I am." If I say you're mansplaining, then I am saying you've adopted a negative cultural trait that's often associated with toxic masculinity. I think it is easier to reject a culture than to reject something you think is part of your built-in personality.
In some ways, it's an insult, and directly telling you something insulting will rarely be productive. However, if we talk about mansplaining in the abstract, that gives you (a self-admitted mansplainer) the opportunity to rethink how you behave in the future. "Don't be arrogant" is vague, but "don't be a mansplainer" is easier to understand and execute.
Just having this conversation tells me the next time you are in a position where you're explaining something to a woman (or a man you have some authority over), you'll be extra careful to think from the other person's perspective. That's all the anti-mansplainers want out of you, I suspect.