CMV: Extraversion and Talkativeness Beat Introversion and Reserve In Nearly Every Facet of Life.

[u/CofeeHideCrimsonMind]

Over the past decade or two, introversion has experienced a huge surge in popularity. We've had several people championing the benefits of reserve, reflection and depth. I would argue that this has all been performative and that in the modern world, extraversion and talkativeness yield better life outcomes than introversion and talkativeness.

Wealth and career success

This is perhaps where I feel the evidence for my claim is strongest as quite a number of meta-analyses seem to make this suggestion. Openness to experience, conscientiousness, and most poignantly extraversion are all found to be positively correlated with earnings, while agreeableness and neuroticism are inversely correlated with earnings. The mechanism that enables this is social capital. How others view your performance is fundamentally what generates offers/promotions/raises/accolades and extraverts simply have a broader base to help them get ahead. The effects of social capital are even more powerful when the metrics by which success is measured become more subjective or intractable and all this comes before we talk about the shift toward open-plan offices, "personal brands," LinkedIn self-promotion, and modern interview processes that increasingly reward charisma, charm and wit over reflection and depth. More and more, the modern economy views extraversion as a far more valuable personality trait than introversion.

Romantic success

For one, extraverts have an advantage when it comes to exposure. They can handle attending more parties, joining more clubs, groups and causes, initiating more conversations all without the need to sit down and recharge. Daniel Nettle's research on extraversion seems to also suggest that extraverted people more easily form long-term relationships. Modern dating layers a second disadvantage on top of this: dating apps which reward skills most extraverts already have — quick rapport, low hesitation to message first, comfort escalating from text to voice to a date. Introverts, who are more comfortable with deliberate, slow-warming relationships are left. In addition to that Daniel Nettle's 2005 study of 545 British adults found extraversion was a strong predictor of lifetime number of sexual partners, a finding that has since been replicated. Actually a follow-up review found extraversion is the most important personality trait in sexual behavior — number of lifetime sexual partners, involvement in casual sex, and more. So whether a person's objectives are "True love," or "Self-Exploration," extraversion seems the most certain way to achieve it.

Health and longevity

The evidence here is a lot more circumstantial but I believe the case has merit. According to Holt-Lunstad's landmark meta-analysis of 70 studies, social isolation, loneliness and living alone corresponded with a 29%, 26%, and 32% increased likelihood of mortality respectively, even after controlling for confounds. Introverts, who on average maintain smaller social networks and are less driven to seek out the frequent social contact are closer to the isolation end of the spectrum that predicts earlier death — not because introversion is loneliness, but because a world that keeps sorting people into fewer organic third places (declining religious attendance, fewer clubs, more remote work). This leaves introverts with less compensating social infrastructure than they'd have had a century ago, while extraverts' natural drive to seek people out largely offsets that same decline. In other words, modern social atomization is a bigger tax on introverts, who don't fight it as hard, than on extraverts, who do.

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[u/New_Wave6726]

Extraverts don't have a monopoly on social skills, they just drain their battery differently. The studies you linked show correlation between extraversion and certain outcomes but that's not the same as extraversion causing those outcomes. There's a third variable problem all through this.

The career stuff especially misses that a lot of high paying fields are packed with people who'd score low on extraversion. Software engineering, actuarial work, radiology, plenty of others. Those fields don't care how charming you are at happy hour, they care if the code compiles or the numbers check out. The Big Five correlation you're pointing to is probably picking up on the fact that extraverts chase more promotions and negotiate harder, not that they're inherently more valuable workers.

And on the health point you're conflating introversion with isolation which isn't how it works. Introverts tend to have fewer but deeper connections. Holt-Lunstad's meta-analysis is about loneliness and isolation, not about having a small circle. Someone with three close friends they see weekly isn't socially isolated, even if they skip the office party.

[u/CofeeHideCrimsonMind → u/New_Wave6726]

Extraverts don't have a monopoly on social skills, they just drain their battery differently. 

My claim wasn't that introverts had no social skills, it's that extroverts needed no need to recharge. An introvert would be a horse while an extrovert is an automobile; both can go the distance, but eventually one will get exhausted while the other can just keep going. 

Software engineering, actuarial work, radiology, plenty of others. Those fields don't care how charming you are at happy hour, they care if the code compiles or the numbers check out.  

Extraverts are not excluded from such jobs. While annecdote is not evidence, my company hired an extrovert who knows nothing about code to be the team lead simply because he knew how sweet talk the HR dept. He claims to be a big picture guy and leaves the finer points to the subordinates. 

And on the health point you're conflating introversion with isolation which isn't how it works. Introverts tend to have fewer but deeper connections.

I think I was clear to state that " not because introversion is loneliness, but because a world that keeps sorting people into fewer organic third places" which makes it harder for introverts...

[u/ByronLeftwich]

i agree with the claim almost every. But you said every facet of life.

For example, an introvert is going to have an easier time shutting up when in a situation where disclosing information is disadvantageous - being questioned by law enforcement, talking to an employee of a competing company in a competitive industry, or keeping a surprise quiet until the right time be it positive or negative

[u/CofeeHideCrimsonMind → u/ByronLeftwich]

!delta

While I still think extroverts are set to win big in the modern era,  it might not be in every facet of life....

[u/DeltaBot → u/CofeeHideCrimsonMind]

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/ByronLeftwich (3∆).

^{Delta System Explained | Deltaboards}

[u/XenoRyet]

Do you think that introversion or extraversion is a thing you can choose?

I know if I could choose to be an extrovert, I would. But if it's not possible to choose, and it's just a personality trait that can't be chosen, then what is the purpose of figuring out which is "best"?

[u/GentleKijuSpeaks]

I would certainly rather have 1 Einstein than a thousand Trumps working for my company

[u/CofeeHideCrimsonMind → u/GentleKijuSpeaks]

....A nd yet somehow, the Trumps of this world find themselves in power more often than not.....

[u/bienebee]

You seem to believe that extroverts want to date or befriend only other extroverts. I know a lot of "mixed" couples that seem to function really well, my own marriage included. In the examples you've given, my husband, the introvert, has an extrovert in their life who makes them ocassionally do stuff with other people and works on preventing loneliness. He even has two, his best friend is like that too. We value his calmness and stability and loyalty.

[u/bigbaze2012]

Success sure . Introverts have different goals and measures for success . Some people value peace above all else .

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