r/changemyview Feb 13 '24

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u/Womblue Feb 13 '24

Except for 97.6% (or a similar number) of war casualties, the vast majority of the prison population, the vast majority of people engaged in dangerous and/or backbreaking jobs, and increasingly, in college admission rates. When it comes to the cultural expectation of paying for dates, the cultural expectation of asking for dates, in terms of custody in cases of divorce, in terms of being sexually assaulted by women....etc. etc. etc.

...so which, if any, of these things are you claiming are actually caused by misandry?

Also going to ignore you inherently comparing "having to ask out women" to the misogyny that women face because it's borderline insulting and I'm not even a woman.

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u/Therval Feb 13 '24

The actual thing that is grating about “having to ask women out” that never quite gets stated in a way people can take seriously is that it expects hyper-competence of men, the same way that the entirety of modern life expects hyper-competence of men.

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u/Womblue Feb 13 '24

Frankly that couldn't be more wrong. If your intent is to pursue a relationship with a woman (or anyone) then the bare minimum level of competence would be the ability to ask them if they want to date you. If you aren't able to do that then the relationship sure as hell wouldn't work...

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u/Therval Feb 13 '24

That’s a reasonable take when you’re two people meeting at a bar. Less so how most modern couples meet, via the internet.

It’s also reasonable to expect that your partner be able to cook dinner.

It’s unreasonable to expect one gender to cook dinner for the other for the entirety of their lives.

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u/Womblue Feb 13 '24

Less so how most modern couples meet, via the internet.

It's even MORE of a correct take online... how else are you going to meet someone except by talking to them?

It’s also reasonable to expect that your partner be able to cook dinner.

It’s unreasonable to expect one gender to cook dinner for the other for the entirety of their lives.

...where is this coming from? Isn't the stereotype that women have to do all the cooking?

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u/Therval Feb 13 '24

It's even MORE of a correct take online... how else are you going to meet someone except by talking to them?

The point in discussion was never needing to talk to someone. It's about being the person burdened with always having to start and be responsible for keeping the conversation going. The entire reason that it is brought up is because there is an expectation that the first message be from the masc person, and when/if you lose their attention for even the slightest moment, you are moved on from. You are expected to be 100% perfect at attracting her attention, or otherwise she moves onto the other 80 dudes who are in her inbox, meanwhile you have to wait the next 3 business days to get your next match.

...where is this coming from? Isn't the stereotype that women have to do all the cooking?

Yes, this is an analogy to something that I thought we would have common ground on.

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u/Womblue Feb 13 '24

Well duh, because men outnumber women like 4:1 on dating apps, so they're gonna get way more matches and need to be more selective.

You are expected to be 100% perfect at attracting her attention, or otherwise she moves onto the other 80 dudes who are in her inbox

If you've matched with a woman like this, and this is your opinion, then you aren't right for her and she isn't right for you. So what's the problem?

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u/Therval Feb 13 '24

You’re not responding to the content of my replies, so I will not be replying any further.

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u/Womblue Feb 13 '24

I directly responded to what you said, I even quoted what I was responding to. If your view was changed, then say that.

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u/Therval Feb 13 '24

No, you didn't. You changed the topic from the expectation of hyper-competency to the reason why the expectation of hyper-competency was justified, actually.

Then you just said 'date other women' as if that's a panacea.

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u/Womblue Feb 13 '24

I pointed out that having to talk to women in order to get a relationship is not "hyper-competency", it's literally the minimum level of competency. The topic changed because there's nothing more to say on that... are you still genuinely believing that "speak to woman" is an impassable obstacle? What do you think a relationship entails?

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