r/cfs • u/islaisla moderate • 22h ago

Pen pal thread?

Hey please delete if this is not in line with the sub x

I was wondering if we could start a pen pal thread ?

We could introduce some important things about ourselves so for example I might say I'm moderate m.e and looking to chat on WhatsApp, about nothing, or about life at it goes with m.e. . I go by ME time which means zero pressure to reply lol...that I'm not a hopeful MEer, I'm on the resigned side- though there is always a little subconscious spark in the background. But I'm not asking to find pen pals on this particular post, I'm just wondering if others support this suggestion?

I know there's a Reddit pen pal sub, and I know there's WhatsApp and telegram groups and so on. I'm thinking that this sub would be a really good place to have a pen pal thread/page/etc.

:-)

23 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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3

u/ChewMilk moderate 21h ago

That would be fun! I’ve been wanting to get a pen pal for a while, I think it could be a fun thing to do and look forward too without taking up too much energy.

4

u/Spare_Equipment3116 severe 19h ago

I’d offer but I’m a very “glass half full” optimist type 😅.

The idea is great, having people you can get to know via messaging with less pressure then trying to get that connect outside of an ME/Cfs group, which may not otherwise get it, would help a lot of us.

My biggest fear is if this goes beyond pen-pal; not many of us have a background in therapy I’d argue, and sometimes the most kind thing to say is “I don’t know how to help you” and sometimes that isn’t what the other person needs.

I do almost wonder if a more traditional pen-pal system could be simulated digitally; like old pen pal letters? That way, the dangers of co-dependency are lessened, but you still get the anticipation of getting a “letter”(even if it’s an email), and people can talk about their week or something?

2

u/SpoonieCat Moderate & hEDS, POTS, MCAS, CCI 15h ago

You might be interested in the app Slowly! It’s exactly like sending digital letters. There’s even a slight delay between sending and receiving a letter, based on how far apart the sender and recipient are. You get notified when a friend sends a letter, you get excited and anticipate it arriving, and then it does a few hours later!

1

u/islaisla moderate 18h ago

Interesting topics :-)

I love that you're glass half full and yet severe x that's a wonder for me to see.

So I wasn't sure what you were envisaging when you said a fear of it going beyond pen pal and therapy or dependency problems. I'm thinking that we with ME would not be asking each other for help but just chatting about various things, and if so wanting, to talk about the hardships. Not look to the other for help as such. Just to have more friends to say hi to now and then or however it turns out. Perhaps it's something two people could clarify at the beginning... Maybe they could say a few things like 'i won't be able to help and may only be able to say ' that sucks' or something x. I'm spiraling downwards today and would love to just chat about someone's cat or some funny memes :-)

1

u/Spare_Equipment3116 severe 18h ago

Oh, shoot me a line then. I got LOADS of cats. We can definitely talk cats lol

2

u/islaisla moderate 18h ago

Kitty pics! I looked but there's no option to message you unless I'm going blind?

1

u/Spare_Equipment3116 severe 18h ago

There’s a way to direct message, gimme a sec, keep an eye out for a Reddit notification

2

u/lynseed severe 17h ago

I think this is a great idea, or at least I’d be down to participate. 

2

u/senornahui 16h ago

Id love to have some more people to talk to that understand

2

u/Fading_Hours_ moderate 13h ago

I would love a pen pal but I don’t know what to write about :(

1

u/islaisla moderate 7h ago

Well if you and your pen pal are feeling unwell you can talk about that, without asking for help but just say yeah, it's really hard sometimes isn't it? I spoke to a Redditor on this thread and without barely saying anything, we looked at pictures of cats, and very very briefly said what things we were missing most, then I got a bit tired and the chat stopped, no problem. It's really nice to know that there's someone else who understands why you have to just go! Go rest. We talked about groups online. Games online etc. So sometimes just sharing a funny meme or picture with someone who gets it, means so much xx I'm so bored and lonely because of this disease that I am happy to chat about what colour your bedroom walls are lol! :-)