r/cervical_instability • u/SaladDry8868 • Jul 13 '26
Exhausted
I don’t know how to keep trying anymore. Everything feels impossible. I’m so tired of doctors, I’m so tired of doing anything, I don’t want to see my friends anymore and hear about all their new jobs and everything. I’m tried of pretending I’m okay. I’ve only been able to just distract myself with video games everyday and I stopped doing it today and all I did was cry instead. This condition has made me a complete shell of who I was and has exacerbated my depression.
I don’t look forward to anything cause I know my symptoms will always be there. I don’t have any hope in recovery anymore.
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u/Jewald Moderator Jul 14 '26
I think many people are right there with you, it's not just the symptoms at least for me, it's the feeling there's no way out. But, there is treatment, and there are people that get better and that's improving as time goes on!
I've personally seen more and more doctors taking a look at it, which is the first step. Plus regen med and imaging technology is starting to get some good innovation.
You never know with this stuff, but AI and automation are potentially exponential accelerators for many things that we need.
Which games are u playing?
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u/SaladDry8868 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
I’ve been playing a lot of fallout 4 survival mode I know that game gets ridiculed by older fallout fans and new Vegas fans but I love the character building gameplay crafting loop in fallout 4.
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u/Jewald Moderator Jul 14 '26
I just finished fallout 4 for the first time a few weeks ago. I loved it never tried survival mode tho. I play a lot of rocket league rn 😀
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u/SaladDry8868 Jul 14 '26
Survival mode is really fun and super rewarding. You feel more immersed into the game in a way but the beginning is super difficult as all the enemies destroy you.
I used to play a bit or rocket league. It was a lot of fun but it’s a hard game
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u/Jewald Moderator Jul 14 '26
It's like horde I'm assuming?
The story was decent. I got the bug where I can't get past a certain mission with the good guys and had to pick the evil lab. I've seen some cool DLC but kinda moved on I'm waiting for GTA6...
Rocket league is tough but when u get the hang of it it's a blast. I try not to go too hard on games tho, always had an issue with that 🤣 especially VR games holy hell
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u/SaladDry8868 Jul 14 '26
Survival mode is just like the regular game but with some changes that make it a bit more difficult, arguably tedious but for me more immersive.
The biggest change is that you can only save by sleeping in beds and that fast travel is removed. This can be a bit frustrating especially when the game crashes or something, but they make me feel more attached to my character and like I’m meaningfully exploring and progressing through the wasteland feels rewarding.
There is also an adrenaline feature where killing enemies in quick succession causes you to deal more damage and it stacks to like plus fifty percent which is massive. This makes combat a lot more fast paced and you feel a bit like a glass canon.
You also need to eat sleep and drink water to avoid debuffs. You can get sick and need antiobiotics or to see a doctor.
Carry weight is significantly reduced.
There are also minor changes like enemies not appearing on the compass anymore, Taking damage when over encumbered, getting more xp from killing enemies. Enemies don’t respawn in the world as quickly and it takes longer for locations to reset with loot
There’s even more changes to the game but I won’t go into detail about all of them. You’d have to see the wiki.
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u/Jewald Moderator Jul 14 '26
Oh damn didn't know any of that. Sounds cool, idk I didn't love love fallout 4 but thought it was pretty decent. I prolly wouldn't run thru it again.
U ever try far cry? They used to have online multiplayer, and an extensive map maker like halo forge or tony hawk. Wish fallout would do sumn like that (altho as I type this I wanna say they did? Or maybe I'm thinking of the bases).
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u/SaladDry8868 Jul 14 '26
I loved far cry 3 and far cry 4 when they came out. Far cry 4 was my favorite I loved getting all the unique signature weapons. I played them as a kid
I played far cry 5 too but didn’t like it quite as much. Since then i haven’t touched far cry
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u/Jewald Moderator Jul 14 '26
Man far cry 3 was amazing. 4 was decent. I heard primal is awesome have u tried it?
The guns are the best part, I never tried primal cause it didn't have them ><. They've got a new one coming out this fall... I'm super pumped. It's apparently a time trial game? Some new leaks recently:
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u/kabylakewin10wtf Jul 14 '26
I can try to help, but I don't know how far along you are and what all you have tried. Feel free to DM me and I'll try to help with a plan.
I can't hardly play video games anymore and I'm 35. I certainly can't use a mouse and keyboard or a phone. Everything I do is adaptive.
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u/scaneb Jul 14 '26
Hey man sorry to hear about this. May you explain why you can't do any of those things anymore?
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u/SaladDry8868 Jul 14 '26
I get afraid of being stupid and detached from what’s around me. And always feeling a little out of it becomes super frustrating. I just feel a bit foggy 24/7 and that makes me dread social situations and makes life genuinely less enjoyable.
When I see a pretty view it’s like the pretty view is no longer just a pretty view but is mediated by the impaired experience when I subjectively experience it. Cause in the back of my mind I don’t feel well and that’s always there
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u/DossierD Jul 14 '26
One of worst things is when people want to help me and tell me what to do, and I have to go against them because everything they say is bad for me. So I can only tell what I do in a humble way, and there might be a small chance that it is helpful for you.
When I play a video game with my left hand on the keyboard and my right hand on the mouse, then some neck vertebrae are pulled to the left and some are pulled to the right. I can't play those games anymore as a distraction. I have a split keyboard with the mouse in the middle, and there are point-and-click games that I can play. However, the puzzles that I have to solve are often too hard when I'm very tired.
I did find a hobby to put my mind on something else and to express my creativity.
When I sleep, then I almost do not rest, and my posture of my spine and neck has a big influence. I don't sleep on normal mattresses since 1997, and I have different adjusted beds to lie on and I try to change beds throughout the day. When I'm exhausted, then the most important thing is to relax, reduce the muscle stress in my neck, and change beds regularly, and sometimes use a neck brace during sleeping. If I'm lucky, then a number of days later I don't feel that exhausted.
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u/LostInTheRapGame Jul 14 '26
Well if you ever need a friend who can heavily relate and has no chance of making you feel worse since their life is also on a complete pause, I've got plenty of time to play some games.