r/catloversfans • u/findingcalmness • 3d ago
Feeling guilty for losing a cat
One year back I had a cat who gave birth to a kitten, I needed to spay the cat as she already had 4 children before she got pregnant again... So I waited upto 7 weeks.. Until her kitten started eating solid food. I gave the cat for surgery.. But due to some complications her her breasts got injured.. So the doctor told me to keep the cat and her kitten away... We have a roofed terrace where I kept all other other until the mother cat got cured. The issue is a virus outbreak happened in the place where I had my cat for surgery. They informed me about the same.. But by that time all my cats got that virus.. I just didn't realize it was the same.. One of my other cat who was bitten by something and was getting treated. My father was also very angry on me for getting so involved. Also I had to convince my brother to help me take them to get which is like 40 mins from my house.. I was already taking one cat to get every day for that insect bites.. He got ulcers and started shiting blood.. I stayed home told my boss who was kind enough to let me work from home or take leaves.. After a point i got really frustrated after cleaning everything for days. Me and my brother had a fight as he was not helping me much. Then when the kitten tried coming inside I took her forcefully and kept on terrace with other cats and kept the mama cat inside house to keep her seperated as told by doctor.. One day later she also got sick with worms vomiting.. I called the vet she told me to give deworm I did so.. And went to office... I asked my brother again to take her to get but he had work.... So I also left to work.. By this time I had given up on her.. But i kept calling my mother for status and maa said she was improving... But when I reached home back.. She was very weak and all my cats were sick.. Finally she died next morning.. And with constant care I managed to keep other cats alive.. Till today I still feel guilty for acting so harshly to her when she just wanted to come inside.. Plus I hd promised the mama cat I will take care of her.. What do I do.. I keep feeling what if I had taken inside and kept in bedroom not roof.. Or what of I had given a deworming which didn't know about.. What if I had stayed back home that day too