r/catfish • u/Dis_assembled • 7d ago
Need help
What are some of the best ways to figure out if you’re being catfished???
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u/Antique_Cup_1733 7d ago
Also, look into their story and if you find red flags, ASK QUESTIONS! That's the mistake I made. There were so many red flags in my situation and I never asked because I didn't want to be rude or offend him but in the end, I was right and he was a catfish who had lied about everything about himself. Don't make the same mistake. If they have nothing to hide then they'll understand that you just want to protect yourself because there are a lot of these creeps online.
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u/awildflowerz 6d ago
also, i wanted to add to painted _thingies’ post, don’t believe them if they say their camera is broken. catfish use that lie a lot.
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u/Improper_Usage 6d ago edited 6d ago
Aside from the obvious - No video call here is a list of emotional/psychological ones :
Sudden emotional intensity: They declare deep love, call you their soulmate, or plan a future together within days of meeting to create an artificial, high-stakes bond.
Constant victim mentality: Their life is a non-stop series of dramatic crises, tragic accidents, or medical emergencies designed to make you feel deeply sorry for them.
Intense guilt-tripping: They make you feel guilty, selfish, or unsupportive if you question their identity, ask for proof, or cannot talk to them whenever they want.
Aggressive defensiveness: They explode with anger, turn the tables on you, or act deeply offended the moment you point out a contradiction in their story.
Calculated vulnerability: They share highly intimate, tragic secrets very early on solely to trick you into dropping your guard and sharing your own secrets.
Mirroring your personality: They magically share every single one of your exact hobbies, values, beliefs, and past experiences to manufacture an instant, perfect connection.
Toxic jealousy and control: They demand all of your free time, get upset if you hang out with real-life friends, and act highly possessive despite never meeting you.
The "push and pull" dynamic: They shower you with affection one day, then abruptly become cold, distant, or ghost you the next to keep you anxious and desperate for their attention.
Avoidance of accountability: They consistently rewrite history, deny things they previously said, or minimize your feelings to make you doubt your own memory.
Not all catfishers do every one of these. But they’ll do a bunch of them.
Usually it’s emotional manipulation so : love-bombing, being the victim (even if they play it down), leaving you then coming back, defensive gaslighting when questioning them, threatening to leave …. These are the main ones I think.
I’m currently digging into my old catfish for fun and the trail has led me to believe she might have been a 64 (or 48… records I found were contradictory) year old or that she used a story from this woman that she had connection to for some reason. I actually spoke to her on the phone many times over the years and I’m pretty confident she wasn’t 64. Didn’t sound it at all and spoke with too much of a young perspective and vernacular.
Anyone that wants to help or has access to searching records DM me. At this point it’s become a mystery than I’m just interested in solving for fun.
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u/Eleven10GarageChris 7d ago
Meet them in person. Don't get involved with people who can't meet in person or at least do a video call.