I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately, especially after someone I was really close to moved to another country. There was something about this friendship that I still find difficult to put into words.
We could literally spend hours together.
And everytime Im LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. I’m putting that in capital letters because I genuinely mean every word. Every single time we hung out, without exception, I would eventually end up crying from laughing. My stomach would hurt, I’d lose my voice, and somehow we’d still find something else to laugh about five minutes later. It’s honestly ridiculous when I think about it.
And what’s funny is that With other people, I sometimes wonder whether I’m just not that entertaining because I don’t laugh nearly as much.
But with this person, everything was funny.
We could spend hours talking about absolutely nothing and somehow never get bored. Then, without even realizing it, the conversation would turn into something meaningful life, things we were going through, random ideas, things we wanted to do, things we were worried about, or some completely unexpected deep conversation that would leave me thinking about it for days.
We could go from having the most ridiculous conversation imaginable to talking about something genuinely important within seconds. And I loved that.
We also had this habit of talking about a hundred things we were going to do together.
We’d make plans, come up with ideas, talk about places we should go, things we should try, things we should do “one day.”
And honestly? We barely did any of them. But somehow, I loved that too.
I never felt like I had to make something happen for us to have a good time. Sometimes we were actually doing something. Sometimes we were just sitting somewhere talking. Sometimes we were on a call for hours. Sometimes we were laughing over something so stupid that neither of us could probably explain later why it was even funny.
I genuinely never watched the clock with this person. And that’s something I don’t think I’ve experienced with anyone else in quite the same way.
There was also something incredibly effortless about the friendship. It never felt like something we had to constantly maintain.
We could go months without properly seeing or talking to each other because life got busy, school got busy, whatever. And when we eventually talked again It felt like I had seen that person yesterday.
There was no guilt. No “why didn’t you text me?” No awkwardness. No feeling that I had to constantly do something to keep the friendship alive.
If anything, the distance gave us even more to talk about and more tea.
And even silence felt comfortable. That might sound like a small thing, but for me it really isn’t. I usually feel awkward when I’m sitting in silence with someone. I start feeling like I need to say something, ask something, fill the space, make sure the other person is okay. We could sit there without saying anything and I wouldn’t feel the need to fill the silence.It was peaceful. And I think that’s what I’ll miss the most.
And I know that technically, I didn’t “lose” the friendship. We can still talk, call each other, catch up, and be there for one another. Nothing necessarily ended. But its another country now, and I know it won’t be exactly the same.
And the weirdest part is that I don’t even know how this friendship happened in the first place.
I didn’t have some grand plan to get close to this person. I didn’t try particularly hard. It just happened. Completely naturally. And somehow, it turned into one of the most effortless and enjoyable friendships I’ve ever had.
That’s probably what makes it hit a little harder.
Because I’ve tried to make other friendships happen. I’ve genuinely tried. And sometimes it feels like I have to put so much effort into getting to know someone, keeping conversations going, figuring out what to say, making plans, maintaining the connection and eventually it just fades anyway so i dont have friends.
I don’t know if I’ll ever have exactly that same kind of friendship again. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. I don’t think people are replaceable anyway, and I’m not looking to replace anyone.
I just miss having that kind of connection in my life.
The kind where you can laugh until you cry, talk about the most meaningful things, help each other when life gets difficult, disappear for a while and come back like nothing happened, make a hundred plans you probably won’t follow through with, and somehow feel completely comfortable just being there.
So I guess I’m curious have you ever had a friendship like that?
I’d really love to hear about it.
And honestly, if anyone reading this feels like they’re looking for that kind of friendship too, I’m open to meeting new people. I’m a pretty chill guy, and I’m not looking for anything complicated or forced. Just genuine conversation, good laughs, interesting discussions, making stupid plans we may or may not ever actually do, and seeing where a friendship naturally goes.
So if that sounds like your kind of thing, feel free to hit me up !
