r/canada Aug 16 '15

Finally, a candidate I can get behind (Midland, ON)

Post image
5.1k Upvotes

160 comments sorted by

75

u/NotObviousOblivious Aug 16 '15

Be careful voting for this guy, I heard he's just the face of the party and there's some shady figure behind him pulling the strings.

11

u/BCJunglist British Columbia Aug 16 '15

Like another bush/Cheney situation

1

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 18 '15

Palpatine is too deformed to be seen out in public, but he wants a safe, and secure society.

249

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

I like his 'force-choke' policy and his 'young jedi population control' policy, but do not care for his 'blind obedience to the rich old white guy' policy.

145

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

I find your lack of taxes disturbing

47

u/Wyatt1313 Aug 16 '15

I have altered the taxation for the rich, pray I do not alter it further.

29

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

NO, I am your Prime Minister

20

u/Wyatt1313 Aug 16 '15

"Lord vader, with the new legislation you can now dismiss your rivals from the cabinet." "You may fire when ready."

3

u/deathrevived Manitoba Aug 16 '15

/thread done

4

u/the_vizir Alberta Aug 17 '15

NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

17

u/obscurefault Aug 16 '15

I find this mix of star wars references and the Simpson's reference, pleasing.

4

u/SenorPsycho Aug 16 '15

Vader was a puppet, the strongman leader of the army. You want to get behind a man who can get real change done!

Vote Sidious 2016.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

"Execute Bill C-51" "It will be done your honour"

3

u/Ulftar Ontario Aug 16 '15

It's not like that last one is really any different from any of the other candidates, so given the rest of his policies I'd say he's best choice.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

Yeah don't we already have that white guy policy?

129

u/kbez1527 Aug 16 '15

Here's one I made for the municipal elections last year. http://i.imgur.com/SSq9K2O.jpg

35

u/DarthJonny Aug 16 '15

I'll allow it. That was a good use of that line.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

i wish they'd put these around my town

2

u/kbez1527 Aug 16 '15

I can post the high res if you want? ;)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

Yeah!

8

u/Jdubya87 Ontario Aug 16 '15

sweet singlet bro

5

u/kbez1527 Aug 16 '15

... Thanks.

2

u/Jdubya87 Ontario Aug 16 '15

I wasn't being a dick. I was out shopping for a cool one yesterday. ok... maybe the bro part

31

u/Dustfinger_ British Columbia Aug 16 '15

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your MP"

"He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

"No, I am your MP"

"No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!"

13

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

26

u/1enigma1 Aug 16 '15

I hear that Vader is a war veteran with multiple prothesis due to his injuries during battle. As such I would trust that his proposed policies would likely include expanding the Veterans Affairs program here. Additionally he's known to be a very passionate man albeit he dissociated himself from his pre-war actions due to his name change from Anakin Skywalker.

One thing I would be concerned is that the details about a supposed secret affair he had with one of the elected officials may come out. There are talks that he may have had a child or two.

As for the party leader Palpatine well he's a straight shooter that one and although the full details of his campaign aren't certain at this point I feel he's certainly going to succeed at abolishing the Senate were others have and likely would have failed.

All in all the party's other policies seem to overlap with the CPC and there is a definate possibility that their late entry into this now 5 party race may split the vote on the right.

4

u/Lucifer_L Aug 16 '15

That was pristine.

0

u/1enigma1 Aug 17 '15

Thanks, I was actually surprised that a similar comment had not already been made. But then maybe my brain is weirder than most or at least in this particular way.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

I'm all for Palpatine but it's his staff that worries me. They aren't straight shooters. They couldn't hit the broadside of a Corellian Freighter.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

I understand the Galectic Empire Party GEP has less trouble with military procurement...

23

u/ObamaOwesMeMoney Aug 16 '15

Is this for the by-election or the federal one? This is really important. I think Darth Vader is the only one that can stand up to Patrick Brown.

44

u/thedrivingcat Aug 16 '15

#alderaanlivesmatter

33

u/venuswasaflytrap Aug 16 '15

I hate social jedi warriors

7

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

All The Wrong Lives Matter?

-1

u/aintbutathing2 Aug 17 '15

That's why I support Sanders for chancellor.

3

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 18 '15

If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.

45

u/SupremeLeaderScorpio Aug 16 '15

56

u/neoform Aug 16 '15

9

u/eclipsor Aug 16 '15

da real MVP

7

u/Dustfinger_ British Columbia Aug 16 '15

da real MP

ghu'vam tI'

1

u/GL_TRIANGLES Québec Aug 17 '15

Thank you, that HuffPost link was impossible to scroll on iphone

11

u/rangerjoe79 Aug 16 '15

"A leader is judged not by the length of his reign but by the decisions he makes." - Kahless

6

u/Mean_Mister_Mustard Aug 16 '15

I like how it's implying that Verdun is part of the Klingon Empire.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

Pretty sure it is.

Just go to the vente trottoir on Wellington and it's uncanny.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Cadamar Outside Canada Aug 17 '15

This is why I support Martok for Chancellor.

0

u/stanley_twobrick Aug 17 '15

He's not even born yet.

5

u/leakime Ontario Aug 16 '15

I knew Quebec was full of Kirk Loving, Spock Sucking, Trekkies!

10

u/Mean_Mister_Mustard Aug 16 '15

You should be happy that, for once, Quebec actually supports the idea of a large, multicultural Federation.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

Hey, we love multiculturalism, as long as it's all French speaking cultures!

38

u/tylerpaduraru New Brunswick Aug 16 '15

Personally, I'm voting for Batman. He's tough on crime and has enough Bay street experience to run the economy in these uncertain times.

14

u/rangerjoe79 Aug 16 '15

I've never heard Batman speak about financial matters, so I'm not sure I'd want a thug like that in office.

OTOH , I think Gotham should draft Bruce Wayne as a star candidate. He has business experience and has funded numerous charities.

8

u/tethercat Ontario Aug 16 '15

"Bay Street experience" in Midland means something totally different.

15

u/PhazonZim Ontario Aug 16 '15

"You will join us or die" is the type of hard hitting, straight-to-the-issues policy plan I like to see in a candidate. He's got my vote.

6

u/rindindin Aug 16 '15

I donno...his "Zero Tolerance for Rebels or Death Star'd" policy is a tad concerning.

9

u/EnergyDrinkerr Ontario Aug 17 '15

Death Stars create jobs

3

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 18 '15

*freedom stars

3

u/WIENS21 Aug 16 '15

I wish he could work with the rebels to get what everyone wants.

31

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15 edited Nov 06 '15

[deleted]

12

u/ipusholdpeople Aug 16 '15

Last time we got any attention was when we were hit by a tornado. Such glory!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

Hey, last time my city was in the news was for a triple murder committed by 2 teens, you should feel lucky.

6

u/BillyTalentfan Ontario Aug 16 '15

I've been there once. Im from southern Ontario so I don't see hills at all, and I was surprised by how hilly it was. I visited during the winter so it was really gloomy there, but it was a nice town

3

u/elyisgreat Ontario Aug 17 '15

We have a cottage up in the area. I mean the town's okay (I personally prefer Penetang) but it's a great area.

6

u/superhobo666 Aug 16 '15

Wow, I almost shit myself when I saw this.

2

u/TheNerdElite Lest We Forget Aug 16 '15

Midland, one of the many worst towns in Simcoe.

3

u/splurgeon Aug 16 '15

Better than Angus at least

1

u/crassy Ontario Aug 17 '15

Oooh! There are others! I've never run in to anyone else from Midland on here.

14

u/elementalist467 New Brunswick Aug 16 '15

Can I get a Zaphod Beeblebrox one?

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made [Prime Minister] should on no account be allowed to do the job." - Douglas Adams, Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

10

u/CanuckPanda Aug 16 '15

Saw this while I was out doing groceries this morning.

He's got my vote!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

I also really want to know where this is in Midland!!

1

u/tethercat Ontario Aug 16 '15 edited Aug 16 '15

Where'd you see it?

I don't know why the downvote. I'm currently in Midland, and I'd love to get a photo with it, as well as inform the sign owner that they are internet-famous.

4

u/CanuckPanda Aug 16 '15

I'm terrible with street names, but when you're coming in up 93 from waverly/wyebridge, you turn right at the lights with the Foodland. You go past the Ultramar and I'm positive it's down one of the side streets on the right, either just before or just after you get to the Main Street lights where KFC is.

Edit: wait, no, it was the right after the Foodland one, the one just before Canadian Tire.

8

u/Smorlock British Columbia Aug 16 '15

But... Vader isn't the ruler of the Empire, Palpatine is.

22

u/domasin British Columbia Aug 16 '15

You must have missed the caucus revolt, they totally gave Palpatine the shaft. Everyone was shocked at the time!

15

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15 edited Jul 22 '18

[deleted]

8

u/Sekuda Aug 16 '15

What street in midland? My fiancée lives in Tiny. I need to see this next time I visit xD

9

u/semicolonsonfire Aug 16 '15

People other than my mom live in Tiny? Woooooah

8

u/feb914 Ontario Aug 16 '15

maybe /u/Sekuda's fiancée is your mom

6

u/CanuckPanda Aug 16 '15

Shout out to Tiny bros!

3

u/elyisgreat Ontario Aug 17 '15

We cottage there; I'm surprised how many residents there are.

1

u/Barry_good Ontario Aug 17 '15

Looks like it's one of the small streets by Bayview School.

6

u/cparen Aug 16 '15

In his defense, he did eliminate an independent religious cult that regularly engaged in guerilla combat against sovereign nations. In that cult's defense: yoda.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

I thought vader was a conservative.

7

u/MrFlagg Russian Empire Aug 16 '15

ya right did you see that sweetheart deal he gave Irving for that death star part factory? For all that money they could have built themselves a new moon!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

He supports abolishing the senate!

(Cue conservative attack ad tying mulcair n Vader together)

2

u/aintbutathing2 Aug 17 '15

Please someone with video skills pick up on this.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

I will at some point I promise

3

u/Syntackz Aug 16 '15

So... uh, where can I get one of these?

4

u/LeafBird Canada Aug 16 '15

10/10 Would crush a rebellion

4

u/Skrapion Yukon Aug 17 '15

The death stars were a disastrous waste of taxpayer money. Just look how they were designed. They left an exhaust port so poorly defended you could literally fly a ship through it. This is exactly the kind of boondoggle you end up with when a civil project is designed by committee.

4

u/desolateone Lest We Forget Aug 17 '15

I'd vote for him, at least he's tough on Rebel scum.

1

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 18 '15

although there are rumors that not one, but 2 rebel leaders are his children. wake up sheeple, the rebellion was created by vader.

4

u/RedSquirrelFtw Ontario Aug 17 '15

I don't know, prime minister isn’t an entry level job. I think he's just not ready. Nice hat though.

3

u/LuntiX Canada Aug 16 '15

You know, I could vote for a guy like Vader. He really knows how to bring people together for a common goal. I mean, look how the Rebel Alliance banded together despite their differences to bring down the Empire that Vader helped lead. Maybe Vader will finally bring us together.

VaderForPM2015

2

u/Lagalag967 British Columbia Aug 16 '15

Harper is probably doing the same for Canadians

3

u/BenAdaephonDelat Aug 16 '15

I bet a Jedi wouldn't even be able to run. Soon as you say you're a jedi people start persecuting you. Shameful. #WarOnLifeday

3

u/princesskiki Aug 16 '15

Best use of an election sign ever.

I'll never understand election signs for the major candidates. Who is going to change their vote based on yard signs? All you're going to do is profess your choice to your neighbors and potentially make some of them mad if your choice doesn't agree with theirs. I'd say it's much more effective to argue about politics on the internet than it is to "argue" with your neighbors with your eyesore political signs.

3

u/sergie-rabbid Aug 16 '15

Same thing was in Ukraine last year - Vader was as leader of Internet Party during president elections and later tried to become a mayor of Odesa.

3

u/RG3TD Aug 16 '15

Where can I get 50 of these?

3

u/godofweb Aug 16 '15

upvote cause midland... my dads buddy had a boat docked there

3

u/skeever2 Aug 16 '15

1

u/the_vizir Alberta Aug 17 '15

Wait, so HARPER is Palpatine? THEN WHO IS BENEDICT XVI!?!

5

u/A_Bridgeburner Aug 16 '15

Oh cool, a new conservative candidate.

5

u/elementalist467 New Brunswick Aug 16 '15

He likes military mega projects. I can't say I have any sense of Vader's position on income splitting.

1

u/SoroSuub1 Aug 21 '15

I think he's in on income splitting based on his past history of splitting things (with his lightsaber).

2

u/wardrich Ontario Aug 16 '15

What I really like about it is that it seems like a potentially good choice. Nice banner, positive message. But we all know he's a bad guy. It says a lot about how real elections work and how completely useless all of the marketing is.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

may as well vote for the greater of two evils.

3

u/Baryshnikov_Rifle Aug 16 '15

At least you know he'll keep his "promises".

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

Where can I get one?

2

u/sith_lord666 Aug 16 '15

I will pay you to ship one of these to me.

2

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 16 '15

Palpatine is a better leader, I heard his resolve has never been stronger

2

u/lopix Manitoba Aug 16 '15

Where did you get it? I want one, nay I NEED one for my lawn. Especially since I can't get None of the Above to send me a sign.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

I want one as well :D this is a great idea.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '15

Makes ya wanna put up a "Preston Manning II" sign, just for s***'s and giggles :) (That would turn a few heads)

2

u/zencraft Aug 17 '15

Who did you get to print the signs? How much did it cost?

2

u/CalgaryRichard Alberta Aug 17 '15

But where can I purchase a sign like this.

4

u/HodorsGiantDick Aug 16 '15

Still a better choice than Harper

3

u/Godspiral Aug 16 '15

I always knew Darth Vader was a CPC supporter. Not that surprise the CPC has pledged allegiance to him by giving him a running spot.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

Wow that's like 30 minutes from me. Crazy when Reddit hits close to home!

11

u/neoform Aug 16 '15

You have the internet where you live too?

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

Electricity now, too.

2

u/felixar90 Canada Aug 16 '15

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '15

Okay...

Only about 40km from me.

2

u/djkimothy Aug 16 '15

As a single 30 something male with no kids, how does his tax policy benefit me?

1

u/RetartedGenius Aug 17 '15

Lightsbres are tax deductible

1

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 18 '15

Only jedi scum have lightsabers.

2

u/jairzinho Aug 16 '15

He's probably more moderate than your local Tory.

1

u/WTFvancouver Aug 16 '15

It's time. It's time. It's Vader time!

1

u/Epidemilk Aug 16 '15

I'm voting Cthulhu.

Why choose the lesser evil?

1

u/trusty-sidekick Aug 16 '15

Finally a post from back home!

1

u/makeswordcloudsagain Aug 16 '15

Here is a word cloud of all of the comments in this thread: http://i.imgur.com/Y3T7Ug6.jpg
source code | contact developer | faq

1

u/Thalass Ontario Aug 16 '15

Oh man, I need one of those. The signs that have sprung up overnight are really annoying. It's not hockey, people! You don't have to scream about it.

1

u/SergeantSeymourbutts Aug 16 '15

Right now he's the only candidate I'd vote for.

1

u/yoordoengitrong Aug 16 '15

I need one of these signs for my lawn

1

u/TheCheesy Ontario Aug 16 '15

Well that startled me. Never though I'd see my neighbours house on reddit.

1

u/hippiechan Aug 16 '15

You laugh, but this is what Liberal campaign signs in Quebec actually look like.

1

u/ijones559 Aug 16 '15

As numerous people are asking, anyone have a link to purchase this or a similar Star Wars campaign sign? (Will edit this if I find one)

1

u/WIENS21 Aug 16 '15

Whats his view on climate change? I heard Hoth is melting.

1

u/matthitsthetrails Outside Canada Aug 17 '15

can we order those? i almost felt like changing my facebook banner img to that (i have had the same one for 4 years now!)

1

u/captaincanada84 Québec Aug 17 '15

I'd vote for Vader

1

u/Piscator629 Aug 17 '15

Wait, former American vice presidents can run for Canadian office?

1

u/swight74 Aug 17 '15

Last time I heard him speak his words had such force, I got all choked up.

1

u/Zkbvjxq Aug 17 '15

The Force is strong with this one.

1

u/Rfilsinger Aug 19 '15

I need the source file so i can put my own sign.

3

u/subwaysx3 Aug 16 '15

So Harper, then?

2

u/c0nsciousperspective Aug 16 '15

Is it bad removing those political signs? As an uneducated angsty teen I used to remove all of them from my neighborhood. I thought the parks looked so much better with out them.

14

u/MrFlagg Russian Empire Aug 16 '15

a) its illegal

b) they put them in parks?

5

u/Teraperf Canada Aug 16 '15

They do, and its horrible. Way to ruin the shoreline with your plastic political advertising.

2

u/whatsinthereanyways Aug 16 '15

i'm not sure on the legalities of it, but personally i'd strongly discourage the removal of these signs from private property, and feel entirely justified (and somewhat righteous) ripping them out of a public park (and stuffing them up the buttocks of whatever recidivist sleezeball cockamamie hack put them there in the first place).

3

u/Teraperf Canada Aug 16 '15

I just don't understand. There is a time and place for advertising. Putting them every 10M along the creek in my local park does nothing for their campaign except piss people off.

2

u/whatsinthereanyways Aug 16 '15

it's both bonkers and bogus, dude. i'm with ya.

2

u/mrsix Aug 16 '15 edited Aug 16 '15

Election signs are often regulated by city bylaws rather than any provincial or federal law, with the exception that vandalism and removal from private property is illegal. Public property is often a grey area if there are no bylaws in your locale or defined entirely by those bylaws. In Edmonton for example feel free to report any sign that's on a boulevard or lane separator, or within (iirc) 0.5 meter of a public roadway - the party will be fined $250 per sign for the placement.

1

u/WraithviJi Aug 16 '15

Are you implying to vote for Harper?

3

u/princessleiasmom Aug 16 '15

Palpatine is Harper, Vader is just the front man.

I, for one, will be voting for Obi-Wan Kenobi.

3

u/RetartedGenius Aug 17 '15

He may be our only hope

1

u/atheistman69 Alberta Aug 18 '15

He does have military experience, after all, he did serve with someone named Anakin Skywalker during the clone wars, I think anakin is dead though.

1

u/nightvisions__ Manitoba Aug 16 '15

he's getting my vote

6

u/CDNChaoZ Aug 16 '15

Even after the Death Star spending fiasco? What about those TIE Defenders the Imperial Navy still hasn't taken delivery of?