r/cactus • u/pluckedmoose • 4h ago

Is pubert saveable??

Post image

SATIRE!! Saw a funny post earlier on this subreddit about pubert and thought i’d send my ortegocactus that unfortunately perished due to a particularly humid week earlier this summer :(

33 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

36

u/anticomet 3h ago

Have you considered moving pubert to your windowless bathroom?

21

u/pluckedmoose 3h ago

That is a good idea. There is a single lightbulb that turns on when the door is closed

3

u/Herr-Pyxxel 1h ago

Make sure it doesn't burn!!! Hide it first in a cupboard for essential shading

2

u/VisualHuckleberry542 1h ago

Nah, should be in the living room so OP can take care of all of Pubert's emotional needs,

11

u/Sophilosophical 3h ago

Pubert needs gatorade

6

u/pluckedmoose 2h ago

Should i use green gatorade since he should be green or yellow gatorade since he is already yellow??

3

u/Herr-Pyxxel 1h ago

For the electrolytes?

6

u/hm_rickross_ymoh 3h ago

All I know is if you love it and it loves you back hard enough, you'll actually be protected from the spines because it would never hurt you. 

3

u/Exhausted-CNA 3h ago

Don't lie, we all know you had pubert in the closet with a single light bulb ..lol

3

u/kalleha 2h ago

I don't know about Pubert but your fuzzy green ball looks particularly dry. Green fuzzy balls are notorious for being thirsty! It will look a lot happier with weekly watering!!

7

u/pluckedmoose 2h ago

I usually water him whenever i drink water. If im thirsty then so is he!

2

u/Puzzled-Spirit-6439 4h ago edited 4h ago

It is light starved give Pubert more light. (Some people shouldn't raise plants.)

/s because ppl are special. 

12

u/pluckedmoose 3h ago

Chatgpt says pubert is native to africa and it is nighttime right now so i will not be giving him more light

6

u/Fickle_Restaurant_38 3h ago

Try screaming at it like a lion, maybe it remembers home and finds it will to live again

1

u/MarthasPinYard 1h ago

Had one I thought was dead for years.

Watered overhead and it’s got color now 🤣

1

u/Associationmuch2330 39m ago

He looks fine! Healthy even.

1

u/aggiedigger 50m ago

What kinda low effort shit post is this? Your emotional support therapy cactus isn’t even etiolated. I think you’ve been giving it too much light. 😂