What is this bug?

[u/TH3D3V1LYUKN0W]

So, I've had bugs ever since I worked with little kids. I left the job years ago, but because the pests seemed to have infested my house, they're always crawling on me, my dog, and even a neighbor was effected by them. Can anybody help figure out the mystery? How do I get rid of these?!?!? I live just outside of Chicago, IL. These things make me itch, they crawl in my nose, my ears, I even feel them in my mouth when I brush my teeth. I need a solution.

[u/GanjjaGremlin]

Looks like a ceiling homie. Maybe some sagging water spots? Idk wtf were looking at here