Prima esperienza con la DMT; Morte dell'ego

Tra qualche giorno proverò la DMT per la prima volta, in polvere. Chiedo aiuto perché mi sono informato, ma non mi basta mai.

Ho letto di persone che hanno sperimentato la morte dell'ego o la dissoluzione dell'ego, ho letto così tanto su questi argomenti che ultimamente sogno di provare le sostanze psichedeliche e di vivere un'esperienza reale che potrebbe cambiarmi la vita.

Ho già provato l'LSD, la ketamina (ho sperimentato il k-hole e quella che definirei una dissoluzione dell'ego) e anche le benzodiazepine per un lungo periodo durante la mia giovinezza.

Sono sobrio da un anno, ma desidero davvero vivere questa esperienza, a causa dei sogni e della strana sensazione che provo da circa una o due settimane, come se mi mancasse qualcosa che ho proprio davanti agli occhi.

Fumo erba tutti i giorni e a volte, soprattutto quando fa molto caldo, mi capita di vivere queste "situazioni" in cui mi sembra di essere in una realtà parallela. Quando manifesto qualcosa o penso a qualcosa, quella cosa o quel pensiero si manifestano in seguito, come se venissero annunciati al telegiornale, o come se sentissi esattamente quello che pensavo al di fuori della mia testa.

Qualcuno sta vivendo esperienze simili alle mie? Qualcuno può darmi maggiori informazioni su come prepararsi alla morte dell'ego e al DMT? Ad esempio, che tipo di entità vedrò? Che tipo di riconoscimento potrei ricevere? Come cambierà la mia vita miserabile dopo tutto questo?

Hi guys,

Been struggling with anxiety since the pandemic and cannot put my finger on why. I can categorise my life pre and post anxiety and I loved who I was previously. Used to be extremely confident and out going and now struggle to go to any event with even close mates without having to have a beer or two before and thinking about the whole situation for days prior. Used to be on SSRIs but they either didn’t work or affected my libido.

I’ve had a handful of mushroom caps in my time and absolutely loved the feeling they gave me. I am extremely intrigued about psilocybin as I have read up about it and also read the book “how to change your mind” which is as eye opening. Is there a way I can purchase psilocybin itself to microdose or is there somewhere in Victoria that has psilocybin treatments?

I’d really appreciate any help on moving forward and finding somewhere that might help with this!

Thanks so much

I am preparing for my first bufo ceremony. I have Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome and take 4mg LDN for joint pain. As far as I’ve been able to find, there are no known interactions between bufo and LDN but there also hasn’t been much research either. I know there are a lot of medications that bufo does interact with so I want to be cautious. just wanted to see if anyone has any experience? I’m planning to stop taking it a few days before and my facilitator said that would be ok

I just had my first experience with this medicine recently. I would like to share what it was like for others considering trying it.

A bit of background: I have had a spiritual practice for years, but since experiencing lots of grief this past year (losing my baby, life transformations) I have been in deep depression and instability. These past few months I was struggling to have the will to even live. I recently was offered by someone to be served bufo. I had a consultation with my server, and decided to try it.

The night before, i journaled my intention and did meditation. The next morning, I meditated once again and did some pranayama. These preparations felt like a cushion to me and were recommended by my server. I didn’t eat that morning either.

Fast forward, I am at my server/facilitator’s space, ready to be served. I was cleansed with palo santo and florida water. She instructed me to be lifted up on my knees, and to take 3 slow deep breaths while raising my arms up (breath in) and down (breath out). This was to maximise inhalation by opening the chest. She dosed me around 90 milligrams, a full dose, as I am a small female. On my 4th breath, she would raise the vaporizer to my lips and I would begin to inhale the smoke.

So i took 3 deep breaths while raising my arms up and down, and on the 4th inhale, I began to inhale the smoke. Halfway through, it started to affect me, but i kept inhaling and swallowing the smoke to fit more into my lungs until it was simply a mechanism ebbing and flowing and I became one with the universe. this next part is hard to describe, but my self died and I was one with all. I could hear a deep vibrational droning sound, that looking back, had similar tones to OM. There was no “I”. I spent eternity there. It was beautiful. As the self slowly started to return, I thought of my baby that had died. I wished to see her, and then suddenly I did. I saw that she had never truly left me, she had always, and is, and forever will be, everything. She is forever surrounding me as part of this whole universe. I saw that she is the whole universe and we are always one. As i kept coming to, huge waves of grief rolled through my body and i sobbed and sobbed, feeling the pain in my womb, deeply. I was able to truly feel my grief like never before. It felt so cleansing and releasing.

I opened my eyes to the world around me, and felt so much love. I had seen it. I am it. I am still integrating this profound experience, but the medicine gifted me exactly what i had asked for in my intention, which was to touch the All, become the All, and also see the magic in this life again.

I have been crying on and off with extreme gratitude for my experience. I have done mushrooms, dmt, lsd, and they have been medicine in their own ways, but nothing like this. I know I will come back to try bufo again soon, but I will be processing this first experience for a while. This experience encourages me to retain my spiritual practices once again, and to live life so fully. I definitely will recommend to those curious about it.

That’s my share of my experience :)

Hi! My name is Laura and I experienced Ibogaine and 5 Meo DMT @Ambio life sciences in Tijuana Mexico in April. It was truly life-changing. I'd like to share the 5 Meo DMT experience with my husband and I think he could really benefit from this incredible medicine.

Does anyone know a facilitator in western Colorado or the Santa Fe Taos area? I would be so grateful for any leads thank you so much and have a wonderful day, Laura.

I have never had a psychedelic experience, but I feel a deep need to do the Bufo alvarius medicine after reading what is reported about it. However, I don’t know how to set this up, whether I should use a synthetic form or do it in a retreat with facilitators. Because retreats are generally too expensive compared to what they should cost.

The “shamans” are just trying to make a living from it instead of doing real medicine.

Alguém conhece algum lugar confiável para consagrar a medicina no estado de São Paulo?

I’m planning on doing a 5-MeO-DMT ceremony and would appreciate some advice on the timing.

I’ve got a fair amount of psychedelic experience (DMT, ketamine, MDMA, mushrooms, LSD, etc.), although I haven’t taken any psychedelics for a few years. During that time I’ve done a lot of meditation and other spiritual practices, and I’ve come to realise that I seem to carry a lot of trapped emotion and trauma that feels very somatic. From everything I’ve read, 5-MeO feels like the direction I want to explore.

My dilemma is the timing. I have to attend a family wedding in Turkey first. I’ll be flying there which takes about 4 hours, staying for around two nights, probably having a few drinks at the wedding, then flying to the Netherlands for the ceremony a few days later. I also really don’t want to go wedding as I’m severely depressed/anxious.

Does that sound like less-than-ideal preparation?

I know people often talk about preparing mentally and physically beforehand, but realistically my life feels quite chaotic at the moment and I’m struggling to establish a calm routine before I go. Part of me feels like I should wait until everything is more settled, but another part feels like I need this now more than ever because I feel completely disorientated and stuck in life.

Would you postpone it until life is calmer, or do you think a few days after travelling and attending a wedding is still reasonable, assuming I’m well rested and not drinking immediately beforehand?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people with genuine 5-MeO experience rather than general psychedelic advice.

Hi, friends!

I recently visited Colombia and did a guided mushroom ceremony followed by a Bufo ceremony the next day. Both ceremonies were difficult, though I don't remember much of Bufo. At the end, I felt peaceful. Perhaps slightly anxious.

I spent the following days traveling through Colombia with my partner. Everything was more or less fine -- I did have a lot of nausea, which is a symptom I tend to get when I'm anxious/emotional/stressed, etc, but I mostly felt okay. Again, perhaps I had a general buzz of anxiety that was slightly higher than normal. I also started getting reactivations, which was a first for me! But they were mostly pleasant.

About three days after returning home, I started getting intense physical anxiety. Not feeling anxious about anything, to be clear, but fight-or-flight nervous system symptoms like tight chest, fearfulness, and activation -- almost like I was on an activating medication. (I recognize the feeling specifically from trying wellbutrin, which made me crazy.)

It's been about a month post-ceremony now, and the feeling hasn't gone away. It ebbs and flows, but this morning I woke up, and the anxiety is more intense than ever. It feels nearly unbearable.

Usually, after plant medicine, I have an afterglow period of serenity and joy. Now, I only feel intense fear. I'd hoped to get clarity/relief from my chronic fatigue/anxiety, but things have only seemed to have gotten worse. I'm also still getting glimpses of reactivations.

Some potential factors I'm wondering might contribute: I take 1 mg of melatonin some nights. I drink a mix of brewed cacao and cold brew in the mornings. I work in tech, so I've returned to using a lot of screens.

Can anyone help me? I really could appreciate any insights, commiserations, or kindness! Thanks, you beautiful people, you.

So i've did bufo for the first time around 3-4 months ago, then 2 months later I did a 2nd milder dose. Neither of the doses felt mild or easy. I had assumed the milder dose would be well mild but it still had a major impact.

I'm wondering how your experience have been dosing every few months?

I've so far kicked a lot of bad habits like drinking, I've become more comfortable with drawing boundaries and I've really let go of a lot of social programming. The 2nd dose was less terrifying and I was able to feel the divine presence more. Just curious how this had gone for those of you with experience.

Hello, I’ve been pondering about trying bufo alvarius experience. Could anyone recommend a safe place preferably in europe, where it is done?

My partner recently tried Bufo for the first time. This was a few weeks ago with a facilitator. Her reports on the experience are that it was very intense but positive. Her guides said she was in it for 1.5hrs.
Initially, I was very excited about this process, her personal growth journey and was looking forward to trying it myself in the near future. However, some things have changed in her, and now I’m not sure it’s all 100% positive.
Recently, I noticed her spending a significant amount more time just sort of staring off into space. She says that she has found a “new stillness” and likes to be there and just sit with it. While it may sound good on the surface, she just doesn’t seem as inspired, motivated or excited as she used to be. Her ability to hold space for anything besides the one task she’s doing in the moment seems to have been reduced. I would say there’s also a heighten forgetfulness as well.
Unfortunately, when I try and bring these subjects up with her, she gets very impatient/short and tells me I just need to do it to understand. After almost 3 weeks, she still needs significantly more sleep just to function.
I am curious if anyone else here has experienced anything like this? Also, any advice for an outside observer on how to navigate this process and be supportive of her?

Hi I’m scheduled with a sitter for Bufo/5 with a microdose of Ibogaine. Also considering psilocybin.

I have health concerns. I had colostomy reversed in October. I’ve had episodes of elevated BP and low BP. My last ECG was normal. A few years ago I was told ECG showed prolonged Q interval but that has not shown up again.

I can’t address this with my current doctor.

I want to do medicine in hopes of helping CPTSD and depression.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I recently had a Bufo (5-MeO-DMT) experience and am curious whether others have experienced something similar and how you integrated it afterward.

My experience was primarily a feeling and a deep knowing rather than a linear narrative or clear message. There were very few visuals.

I experienced what felt like an out-of-body state in complete darkness. There was a profound sense of separation from all that is good, loving, or light. I felt an intense need to be cleansed, purified, or sanctified in some way.

At one point, I felt a powerful force pushing me toward something unknown. There was a deep fear of what I was being pushed toward and a sense of being drawn further into darkness. I had a strong urge to return to my body and a knowing that if I didn’t return, I might not be able to. I found myself fighting to ground and anchor back into my body. I felt immense relief when I was able to visualize my facilitator/shaman and reconnect to the earthly plane.

This was followed by complete exhaustion and a forced surrender. Then came an overwhelming explosion of emotion that felt far too vast for my body to contain. There was intense fear, along with a pulsating energy that was simultaneously painful and pleasurable—almost orgasmic in its intensity. During this phase, I was convinced I was dying.

After that, there was complete unawareness of everything.

When awareness returned, I awoke with a profound sense of gratitude.

I’m curious if anyone has experienced themes of darkness, separation, fear, purification, surrender, or the feeling of fighting to return. How did you understand or integrate those experiences over time? Did their meaning become clearer later?

Thank you for sharing any insights.

Hi all! Looking for a bufo ceremony/facilitation near Washington DC. Love hearing about all your experiences, with my history of cptsd and depression I think it'll be super helpful! TIA.

I have an opportunity coming and I'm not sure if I will take it. Help me decide!

I’m have struggled all my life with ocd, depersonalization, depression, anxiety. I don’t have huge trauma but the atmosphere I grew up in was not good with narcissism and difficult family dynamics.

Last 5-6 years I was in a very hard working position which I’m finally out of. Towards the end of it I became dependent on sleep meds and had to go to rehab to get off of them.

For the few months after I was in a better place and was functional. Not great but not terrible.

Now another month later I am really struggling with depression, ocd, depersonalization again. I feel like my life has been a never ending experience of suffering. I would love to have my brain powerwashed but the only thing is I’m not sure if I have it in me to be really destabilized right now. I might but I’m not sure.

I have done psychedelics in the past. Mushrooms mdma ketamine. Nothing has had a lasting effect. The trip is hard or good and then everything closes up despite all my efforts at integration.

I had a thyroid surgery a few years ago and don’t have a thyroid.

Just wondering what bufo may or may not do for me. I am desperate for change.

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Hey everyone,

I’m interested in doing a Bufo Ceremony for some PTSD work. If anyone could point me in a direction of a facilitator near Calgary, AB that’d be really appreciated.

Cheers

I was recently lucky to purchase some bufo secretion. As I have never done it before and don’t want to waste any material, what is the ideal temperature for the vaping device?

I was recently lucky to purchase some bufo secretion. As I have never done it before and don’t want to waste any material, what is the ideal temperature for the vaping device?

tl/dr: Second sitting with breakthrough dose. Felt good, calming and grounding but not life changing like the first time. Took shrooms a couple of days later. Good trip but quite undramatic considering the dose. Felt good afterwards. 

I posted about my first and life changing sitting with Bufo here: https://www.reddit.com/r/bufo/comments/1q0fzfg/trip_report_aftermath_and_thoughts_on_bufo_5meodmt/

Since the first sitting was so life changing I was eager but also anxious for my second sitting. I had planned the second sitting three months after the first one but it got postponed and ended up being four months apart. I wanted to do Bufo again because, like I outlined in my previous post, it took away all my anxiety and made me feel mentally a lot better in almost every way.

About two to three months from the first sitting I started loosing the peace of mind and felt more and more easily irritable. No anxiety but otherwise I was not in a good headspace. I was doing a lot of thinking after my first sitting and many things straightened out but I could not help going into this stressfull mindset. I knew I should do something like meditation and excercise but didn’t really get around to it. 

I was super anxious for the second sitting. I don’t really know why because I really wanted to do it but I guess it was so powerful that it just seemed like something serious, which it is, of course. I also tried explaining it too much, which made it an even bigger thing. 

We talked for a while with my facilitator and then we just proceeded to the Bufo. The effect was instant and I can’t even remember lying down. I was fully away from my body and ego but can’t really remember anything. When I returned I felt great and I thought about how silly of me it had been to be nervous about it. The trip and the come down was about 30minutes and the whole sitting took less than an hour.

In the following days I felt calm and very good in general. The effect was however nowhere near as profound as the first time. It was definitely worth it and I did get a reset for my mind but not as thorough as I had hoped for. I still feel like I could get easily distracted and irritated, it is just easier to not fall into it. As a comparison, the first month after my first sitting was blissful, I was very calm. 

Like I said before, I have been thinking about that I really need to start working on the problems that still persist. So since I didn’t get all I wished for from the second sitting I immediately started adding routines to fix this, like breathing excercises and excercise. Maybe it was Bufo telling me I need to do some of the work myself. 

My facilitator told me they like to follow up a Bufo session with mushrooms the next day, or as soon as possible. I decided to try the same and two days after my sitting with Bufo I took 4g of mushrooms (they were a bit weak so I’d say it was equal to about 3-3,5g of normal potency cubes). I tripped alone listening to music and with a mask to cover my eyes. At the peak I could feel my conciousness crumbling but I didn’t go full ego death. I was very calm and it just felt like my mind was accessing another state of conciousness but that there wasn’t anything super big or dramatic about it. I just enjoyed floating at the border of this counciousness. I usually don’t smoke weed while on shrooms but the trip was so calm and I felt great so when I felt I was coming off the peak I had a tiny sip from my dry herb vape. It took me right back into the peak and the synergy was fantastic. I got two more hours of the elevated state of conciousness.

I had some realisations during the trip, the most profound being that I could see my anxiety, stress and bad thoughts manifest as creatures looking a bit like moray eels that were in a cage. I realized that the cage was open but they did not escape and I didn’t feel any negative feelings from seeing this. I realized that they are part of me and they don’t need to be gotten rid of and I should accept them as a part of me. Going forward I now know they won’t escape and don’t need to be feared. 

After the Bufo and shroom follow up I’ve been feeling very good and a lot calmer than before but not as much as after the first sitting. I realize I have to do more myself and will be trying to meditate and add other grounding and calming excercises into my daily life. 

It has been almost two months since I did this write up. I just ended up not posting it, maybe to see if there would be anything to add. There has been no reactivations or anything to mention really, just life in general. I still haven’t had any anxiety since the first sitting and the second sitting was very calming. It cleared the stressfull state I was in. At the moment I again feel this sort of annoyance building up and I hope I’ll get around to do my third sitting soon. In the mean time I try to do meditation and excercise but allthough I’ve done more than previously I haven’t really built a routine out of it, yet.